Loathing You
by IBACULLEN
Summary: Going on horrible dates was something that Bella always did well at. Nothing made her happier then to see the back of a man as he fled to get away from her. She was having so much fun until she ended up on a date with the most chauvinistic man in New York. How could one date have gone so wrong? Now her little tricks maybe the reason she is forced to stay with a man she loathes.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

I don't believe that people truly realize the amount of work that goes into the birth of a relationship. You look around and see the people in your life, but have you ever stopped to think about how much work went into the relationships that you hold so dearly?

Friends. You may have known them all your life, gone to school with them, or met them at your first job but, over the course of time, a friendship was born. Parents. For the most part, they are responsible for molding you into the very person you have become. Whether they were good parents, not so good parents, or parents who were taken from us too soon, your relationship with a parent can affect the course of your entire life. And then, undeniably, there are the relationships we form with that one perfect person who is supposed to get who we are as a human being even when we can't figure our own selves out.

I was lucky enough to have a great relationship once. A man who loved me and made my whole world brighter. I had a one true love, but because things don't always work out the way that we want them to, my whole world was instantly darker when he was taken from me. With the loss of my mother when I was five years old, then the loss of my father when I began high school, after James had passed I had no choice but to believe that I was cursed.

It wasn't until three years after the passing of my husband, James, that another man would come into my life and free me from the restrictions that I had set for myself. Out of the most incredibly wild circumstances a relationship was formed and I haD no choice but to believe that destiny was responsible for pairing us up.

And for the record, I was not a fan of destiny. Destiny nearly ruined my life or so I believed when it decided to pair me up with one of god's most vile creatures. For a time, it seemed that I truly was cursed, but as destiny always knows best, it was because of destiny that I found love again.

So here's how destiny started...or so this is how I heard how it all began.

"Absolutely not!" Jessica stated determinedly. "You have no idea what you're asking for. Sure, Bella is a hot piece of ass and, yes, she is probably the only woman in this state that you haven't fucked...well me of course... thank god for small favors. I can't even imagine the STD train you would bring me."

"Mostly, I just...spin a wheel and whatever it lands on, that is the parting gift I leave with the woman." Edward jested.

"So gross." Jessica quivered.

"Michael, would you please talk some sense into your wife? She places Bella up on this pedestal and forgets that she is just like every other woman. She has needs, urges, and dirty fantasies and, for one night, I could be the guy to remove that positively pointy stick from her ass...maybe even replace it with something better." Edward boasted.

"Why exactly are you friends with this moron again?" Jessica snapped at her husband.

"Please...just leave me out of this. You both don't want to know what I really think." Michael held his hands up in surrender and walked back toward the kitchen for another glass of wine.

"Of course we want to know what you think, baby." Jessica crooned. "I know that your intelligent enough to...always see things my way."

Edward rolled his eyes and flopped down on the couch, picking back up the XBOX controller.

"Yeah, Michael...why don't you try to not sissy out on us and tell us what you really think." Edward pushed.

Michael finished pouring his wine and sighed. He tentatively walked back over toward the couch, afraid that this would not end well for him. On one side was his wife, whom he loved and adored, but sometimes she could be a little...insistent. Yes, insistent was a nice way of putting it. And then there was his best friend from work, Edward. Edward...well let's just say that it was a good thing Michael was already married when they met or else his relationship with Edward would have been rather different. Michael cringed just thinking of all the ways Edward would have pushed him into doing some rather questionable things with questionable women.

To each their own, that's what Michael always thought when he would see the countless women his best friend would go through.

"Come on, pussy face. Just say it already." Edward remarked.

"Don't call him that." Jessica snapped.

"Does he eat your pussy?" Edward asked, and Jessica narrowed her eyes disapprovingly. "Then...he's a pussy face."

"All right! Would you both just shut up?" Michael spat.

The room went quiet and Edward set the game controller back down, waiting to hear what his friend was about to say.

"First of all...I think you should respect Jessica's wishes on her friend Bella. Bella...has gone through a lot and she doesn't need some guy fixing her plumbing right now, so to speak." Michael started.

"Are you kidding me? You're siding with your wife?" Edward snapped, offended.

"Secondly." Michael stated louder. "Jessica...don't you think that Edward just may be the best guy you could think of to be blessed with a Bella Special?"

Jessica was just about to say something, but then she imagined what life would be like if Edward had been blessed with a Bella Special. A smile formed on her lips and she bit into her bottom lip.

"You know what...you are absolutely right." Jessica laughed. "Edward, I will go ahead and set you up on that date but...as your...slimy self slithers into the restaurant, please remember that you asked for it."

"Wait...what's a Bella Special?" Edward narrowed his eyes.

"Bella Special?" Jessica acted innocently, "Of course Bella is special."

Jessica rubbed Edward's shoulder and stood up from the couch. She quickly went over to retrieve her cell phone to place the call.

"Mike...what are you not telling me? I thought we were bros? Bros before..."

"Dude, that's my wife. Wife always trumps...bros." Michael shook his head and sat down next to Edward, picking up the game controller. "But just remember bro...you asked for it."

"Come on. Just fucking tell me already." Edward complained, "Is she...frigid or...for god sakes, does she...have a jungle rather than a ski slope?"

"Edward." Michael sighed and looked over to his best friend, "I hate to break this to you but...you won't ever make it past the date to find out."

Michael started laughing as he thought of all the ways Bella was going to wreak his friend. Edward worked on Michael for a solid two hours before Michael would finally break and divulge what he was in for. Jessica, unfortunately, had the difficult task of getting Bella to even agree to the date but in the end, of course, Bella said yes because life was short and sometimes a little fun was good for the old soul.

"You see...my dear good...bro, Bella is the ultimate dater hater. She doesn't want to date. Not now. Not ever. So when people like Jessica call her and try to fix her up, Bella will go out of her way to ruin the date as best as she can." Michael began.

"Why...would she do that?" Edward inquired.

"To teach people like Jessica a lesson." Michael replied, "Do. Not. Set. Her. Up."

"Isn't she a little young to be so...prudish. I mean every girl needs a little penis pounding every once in a while...oh shit, is she a carpet muncher?"

Michael rolled his eyes and wondered again how he ever became friends with this man in the first place.

"No. She's not a lesbian. She just...doesn't want anything and, contrary to what you may think, not every woman is dying for a...penis pounding. But getting back to the topic, since Bella doesn't want to date, she takes the time on the date to have a free meal and have fun...at your expense. The last guy she was set up with somehow caught on fire or something." Michael scratched his head, trying to remember the details.

Edward furrowed his brow and looked over at his friend like he was crazy.

"Hey, Jess...Marco was the one that caught on fire, right?" Michael called out to his wife.

"No. Marco was the one with the third degree burns. Jesse was the one that caught on fire." She corrected him.

"I thought Jesse was the STD/pregnancy scare." Michael replied.

"Ugh...you can't ever keep them straight. Brad was the STD pregnancy scare. Jesse caught on fire. Marco had third degree burns, and, well, I think we both remember what happened to Nathan." Jessica smirked.

Michael instantly covered his privates and cringed. "Yeah...car door. Ouch."

"Who the fuck did you two set me up with? The antichrist?" Edward exclaimed.

"Awe, Edward." Jessica pouted. "Not man enough for my friend? Thought so."

Jessica practically cackled back toward her purse.

"I can...always cancel if you'd like. Seeing how I am...such a good friend." Jessica pulled out her phone and held it up.

Edward knew what she was trying to do. She had challenged him and he was going to look like a pussy if he didn't go through with this. He looked over to Michael, who was still invested in his game but managed to have a little smirk on his face, and then looked back at Jessica, who stood superior.

"I know what you guys are trying to do. But, I'm not going to fall for it." Edward puffed up his chest. "Because I'm a man and I'm sure an hour with me, your little friend will be putty in my bed."

"No, Edward, we aren't trying to do anything." Jessica sighed happily, "But since you seem...masochistic, I will give you one warning. If at any time Bella decides to leave...say to the bathroom or to make a call...that's code for ditching you with the check."

"Don't worry, Jessica, I will be the perfect gentleman that night...but, in the morning, bitchs gotsta go." Edward picked up his jacket and swung it over his shoulder.

"Until next time, stay beautiful, peeps." Edward winked at Michael and Jessica before sauntering out the front door.

Both Michael and Jessica stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter.

"He is so...fucked." Jessica sang.

"I really hate to do that to a friend, but can't say I didn't warn him." Michael shrugged.

As the week went by and Saturday came closer and closer, Edward seemed to let Jessica and Michael's words get the better of him. He had been plagued with nightmares of car doors, fires, and STD's. Would Bella be the one to ruin him? He told himself over and over again that he was a man, a strong manly man, and no chick was going to get the best of him. But as Saturday night approached and his date was just a few hours away, he couldn't handle it any longer, and went straight to his friend's office one last time to try to get the true story of this Bella girl.

He had seen Bella only once before. Michael and Edward had gone down to the local pub and eatery that Jessica was having her girl's night out at when they ran into them. It was only a few moments but, when Edward's eyes landed on the smooth perfect curves of Bella's body in that tight black dress, his radar was instantly turned on.

The way her long brown wavy hair fell down her back. Her deep brown eyes that seemed to glitter when she smiled. This was definitely Edward's next perfect conquest.

"So...terrified?" Michael smirked when he saw the state his best friend was in.

"No." Edward scoffed. "Well...shit, wouldn't you be? I mean, what's this girl's deal? Who tries to ruin dates just for the fun of it? Doesn't she want to meet "the one"?"

"That's an awful lot of questions, my friend." Michael laughed.

Edward huffed and took a seat in the chair in front of Michael's desk. Michael, in a moment of weakness gave in and shared with Edward just a few more things he had learned about the wonderful world of dating Isabella Swan.

"All right." He sighed, "I guess it wouldn't be very...brosome of me to send you off without giving you the upper hand. However, once again, I will tell you that Isabella Swan is not going to put out. I don't say this to challenge you or to make you feel like less of a man but she really, honestly is not looking for a fuck buddy, she is not looking for a husband, or a serious commitment. So...my advice before you put yourself through this, call Jessica and cancel."

Edward sat back in the chair with both feet perched up on the edge of Michael's desk and thought over that for a moment. He still couldn't imagine any woman in the great state of New York to not want to find love. Hell, isn't that why women came flocking to New York City?

After a short deliberation he finally looked at Michael and waved him on, "Tell me...tell me her schemes."

Michael shook his head at his head-strong friend. Even a bat to the forehead wouldn't get the message though his friend's incredibly thick skull. Michael wasn't quite sure why Edward was so determined on going out after every warning he and Jessica had given, but he had to believe that some good could come from this.

"Okay." He sighed, "I guess for starters...she may...try and make you look like the villain. She will have the wait staff believing that you are the worst human being on the face of the planet. It's a great way to get everyone on her side so that when she ditches you at the end of the date, everyone will feel sorry for her and look at you like the jerk she'll make you out to be. If I were you, I would start with a huge bouquet of flowers. A statement piece that no waiter or waitress could erase from their minds."

"Got it. Big, flashy, waste of money flowers." Edward pulled his legs off the desk and continued to intently listen to his friend.

"Next...make sure that if the table has a romantic candle set on it, then blow out the candle or move it to another table. I'm not saying that Bella purposely set Jesse on fire, but, somehow the candle spilled onto the table and set the tablecloth on fire, and I guess Jesse had his elbows on the table so he caught on fire as well."

"What kind of man goes to a fancy restaurant and sets his elbows on the table?" Edward replied, disgusted.

"That's exactly what Bella said." Michael shook his head dubiously. "Anyway, she could try to pull the STD scare on you, but I doubt it. She usually doesn't go back to a classic. Plus, it's a lot of work on her part and I heard her telling Jessica once that the time it took to attach all the herpes and mouth sores was a waste of time for the payoff."

Edward creased his brow while Michael continued to plow on.

"Oh...and, whatever you do, don't give her liquor. She's like a gremlin or something. Liquor always makes her act completely outrageous, and not in a good way. Also, don't let her leave the table; Jessica wasn't lying when she said that that is always code for her sticking you with the check and never returning. If you can, I suggest you get a table directly facing the bathroom so that, if she does go, she won't be able escape unless she...does something crazy like climb out the bathroom window."

"Table next to the bathroom...got it." Edward shook his head and grumbled, "Never worked so hard to get laid."

"I tried to tell you to not go after the unicorn, but you insisted." Michael replied.

"What about the third degree burns guy? How did that happen? Or the car door guy?" Edward inquired.

"Third degree burns was just soup in the lap and car door is exactly how it sounded. The one guy who actually managed to not get dine and ditched helped Bella into the car...he thought they were going to go back to his place and she "accidentally" slammed the guys dick in the door. It wasn't really her fault if you think about it, what guy pitches a tent before getting into a cab? I mean, eager much?"

"You have been spending way too much time with your wife. "Eager much?" You sound like a Cali girl."

Michael let Edward's comment roll off. "Which reminds me...Bella is horribly clumsy. I don't think half the things that have happened were really intentional, but she just went with the flow. The soup in the lap, Bella was trying to get out of her chair for her dine and ditch, and her foot caught on the leg of the chair and she fell into the waiter who was carrying the soup. So...as much as I can tell you to watch out for this or that, in the end it could be her clumsiness that is the death of you."

A brash knock on the door snapped Michael and Edward out of their scheming.

"Hey ladies, I hate to break up the sewing circle, but did you two idiots forget there was a meeting right now? You think I like coming in on a Saturday?"

Edward rolled his eyes and stood up before his boss could berate him any further.

"Coming...always." He winked.

Michael stood up and followed him out. He gave Edward a brief pat on the back, "It's been nice knowing you, bro."

Michael couldn't wait to hear how the date went. In fact, it had become a little ritual that on nights a Bella Special was going to occur, Jessica and Michael would grab take out and await the phone call. However, tonight there was surely going to be two phone calls coming in; one for Jessica from Bella and, now, one from Michael's best friend, Edward.

"So ,did you get the Chinese?" Jessica greeted her husband.

"And the fried wontons you love, my love." Michael cooed.

"You are just the best." Jessica jumped up and went to help her man with the food. They had it all set up on the television table with the phones set next to the plates and silverware.

"So, was Edward even a little worried?" Jessica wondered. She had been wondering all damn day, hoping for an update.

"Oh yeah! Kinda felt bad for him so...I may have told him some more." He cringed, awaiting the wrath.

"WHAT? Dammit, Michael!" Jessica screeched. "You warned him? Now, where's my fun? I was excited was that the one man in New York City was about to meet his match."

She slammed her fist into the palm of her hand and practically growled.

"He's my best friend and, as much as you want to see him humiliated, I don't want to see him end up in the hospital." Michael tried to defend his actions.

"Oh, for Pete's sake. Only a couple of the guys actually ended up in the hospital." Jessica waved off.

"Look, I only gave him previous incidentals and told him ways he could avoid anything bad happening. You never know, Jess, she could actually end up liking Edward if, for once, she wasn't worried about her scheming."

"You and I both know why she does it and, just for that, I'm going to call Bella and give her the heads up. Two can play this game." Jessica snatched her phone and stormed off toward the bedroom. Michael could tell by how hard the door slammed that he would certainly not be getting any from his wife later on.

When Jessica finally did emerge from the bedroom she had a sense of superiority, which could only mean that Bella and her were able to work out a plan to circumvent all of Michael's hard work. She flounces over to the couch and gave him her little smile before taking her plate of Chinese food.

"Twenty bucks that Bella ruins Edward for all women. By the time my pony is done with him, he will enter the priesthood."

"You're on." Michael replied.

And so they waited for the date to commence. They waited, looking at their cell phones every few minutes, for the first call to come in. As the time passed, they both wondered what was taking so long. Bella's record in the past, on average, had the date ending within forty minutes. Both of them started to wonder if maybe their friends had really hit it off. Could it be?

The light on the cell phone lit up and the ring tone, _Party Like A Rock Star_ began to play.

"Ha!" Michael celebrated. seeing his friend's name come up. Jessica grabbed her phone and furiously began to dial, wondering why Bella hadn't called her yet.

"Hello." Michael answered coolly.

"We have a problem. I need your help...now." Edward's voice wavered and it set Michael's whole body on edge.

"Why isn't she picking up?" Jessica worried. "Michael...Bella's not picking up."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

When does it ever end?

I sighed, staring down at a few more past due notices. When the recession came, it affected millions of people who depended on their small business to flourish so that they could survive. I happened to be one of those people, and we all worried about one thing, failure.

It was only because my landlord was such a decent gentleman that I was able to push off rent sometimes for months until I could obtain the funds. However, it had been too many months past and, now, I feared even my secret weapon wouldn't do the trick.

I owned a dance studio. A small one, but it was a passion of mine, one that I found therapeutic. The Swan Dance Studio offered lessons in all different types of dance. We had four different teachers, including myself, that offered everything from ballet to ballroom. Just this last year we added a new instructor for Jazz and Hip Hop. I was hoping that it would bring in more clientele but alas, our numbers stayed the same.

The telephone rang beside my kitchen sink, pulling me out of my depressing obligations.

"Yes, what can I do for you now?" I complained, seeing Jessica's name pop up on my caller id.

"Wow, thanks a lot B.F.F. Nice to know you think so fondly of me."

Ah Jessica. I shook my head at the thought of her. I loved her, I did. But, sometimes, it was exhausting being her friend.

"So…what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" I tried to sound a little more pleasant, hoping to not let the bills behind me be the reason for my rudeness.

"So…you know how much you love me? How you always say that you would do anything for me?" She starts.

"I've never said that." I corrected her.

"No, but you really should start. I mean, we've been friends for nearly three years. You would think that after all this time I would have some kind of loyalty around here."

"Jess! Cut the babbling and please just get on with it. I have to get going to the studio."

"This late at night?" she inquired.

"I've had to take on private lessons in order to make ends meet lately."

That was the other thing that bothered me about Jessica. She had no real world concept that the majority of people struggled to make ends meet. Easy for her to do when her husband made a nice little paycheck working for the government. What I wouldn't do for those kinds of benefits.

"Well…I really am in need of something. I was hoping for a…" She sounded nervous as she tried to get out whatever favor she wanted from me.

"A what?" I asked.

"A Bella Special."

Ah crap.

"No." I stated adamantly. "I told you that after the last one, I'm done. I had to spend hours at the E.R. and, contrary to what you may think, I don't like wasting my free time on men who don't even have proper manners. Elbows?" I fumed thinking of how fast what's his name's shirt went up in flames when I accidentally hit over the candle. And it was an accident. Well…I mean I never intended for the man to end up in the hospital. But really, this was his fault for taking me to a place that had used paper tablecloths.

"Come on. This prick really deserves it." She whined.

"You know, most friends call to try to set you up with decent guys. Most friends want to see their friend happy and not on dates with pricks."

"Do you want me to set you up with decent guys? You want to finally look toward a future?" she wondered slyly.

"Of course not. I'd rather you didn't set me up at all."

"This guy is Mike's best friend. I don't know why, but somehow god has smited me with Edward's existence."

"Smited isn't a word." I interjected.

"Fine, smoted. Whatever." She waved off, "Look, he seems to think that you are in need of his…services. He saw you last weekend when we went to O'Mally's and asked me to set you two up, but he doesn't want to meet you because he is looking for the one, he just wants to bang you and then forget you. To him, you're just another hoe."

"Another hoe?" I snapped, disgusted.

"That's what I said. He's already been going on about how you need a stick removed and…ass fucking or something. I mean if there was ever a guy who needed a Bella Special, this, this would be him." She stressed.

I was completely disgusted already by just hearing the foul things out of Jessica's mouth. I looked back down at my past due notices and thought about it for a moment.

"I'll do it." I confidently replied.

Some guys just need to be taught a lesson.

I finally was able to hang up with Jessica so I could make it down to the studio in time for my private lesson. With the television show, Dancing With the Stars, impacting our industry, many couples had started wanting private lessons for their first dance as husband and wife. No longer was it acceptable for some Jr. High form of hands around the neck while the two swayed back and forth. People wanted to impress their guests with a Viennese Waltz.

It was great to be able to make the extra money, but extra late lessons meant that I would be taken away from the most important person in my life. My secret weapon.

"Thank you so much for doing this, Irina. You have no idea…"

"Oh stop! Would you get going already? You're going to be late." Irina tried to shoo me toward the door.

"Maisey, come give mommy a kiss."

The one thing I may have done right in this world was laid sprawled out in front of the television, already dressed in her princess pajamas.

"You're going to be good for Irina, right?" I asked pointedly.

"Mommy, I'm always good." She laughed.

"That's right, baby. You tell her." Irina egged her on.

I rolled my eyes and gave her a hug and kiss before rushing out the door and down the stairs to the studio. I was very fortunate to be able to live over my studio. Made for a quick commute.

My class went well enough, but I think Jessica may have distracted me with her early proposal. Just the thought of this…guy made my blood boil. It was completely childish to go out on dates just to screw them up, but I justified it by thinking about Maisey. What kind of dating world would she enter in someday? I didn't want her to be exposed to all the losers that I had met throughout the years. Most men should be expelled from the dating world until they could come back with basic manners and decency.

It wasn't until Saturday night, date night, that I began to think about my impeding evening with this manwhore that Jessica had set me up with. All week long, it was one story after another. For the most part, I tried to ignore them. I wouldn't worry about my plan of attack until the night of. Now that it was the night of, I really needed to come up with a way to make this man's night miserable.

I decided to really bring my A game. If this man actually believed that he was going to get me into his bed, well then that is what I will have him think. I browsed through my closet to find the sluttiest thing I owned, which wasn't much since I didn't want to dress like a hooker so I settled on a black tight dress and worked to push my cleavage up and nearly out.

"Oh wow mommy, you look…naked." Maisey stated, shocked, "Are you going swimming?"

I cringed, absolutely hating myself at the moment. I had always been conservative in my dress and tried to teach Maisey that showing this much skin was only for the bath tub or the beach when we would wear a suitable one piece bathing suit. Heck, I even wore full pajamas to bed, so skin in our house was a bare minimum.

"No, sweetheart." I replied, not really knowing what to say.

"Hey, does anyone live here?" I heard Irina shouting as she came down the hall toward my bedroom.

She slides to a stop seeing me and her jaw practically fell off. Irina walked cautiously forward and placed her hand over Maisey's eyes.

"Is it really that bad?" I bit my lip.

"I never even knew you had boobs until today."

I smacked her in the arm, "Don't say that word around Maisey."

"What word?" Maisey asked.

"Nothing…uh…maybe when you're six your mommy will teach you more ways of the world." Irina started to drag Maisey out of my bedroom.

"But…I'm going to be six really soon."

"Yeah, what's the countdown kid?" Irina asked.

I could hear them babbling all the way back toward the kitchen and I looked back into the mirror wondering if I was going too overboard. I shook my head and started on my makeup but then my phone rang and, seeing it was Jessica, I kind of hoped that this Edward had cancelled.

"Hello."

"Bella. Have you left yet?"

"Uh…no. What's up?" I asked, hoping for a miracle.

"Great. Listen, I don't know what you have planned, but my dumbass husband told Edward all about you. He knows that you're going to screw him around. Do you want to abort mission?"

I looked back into the mirror and saw my slutty costume. This certainly wouldn't work now.

"No…I don't want to abort. I…I have an idea."

I hung up the phone and changed direction. I fumbled through my closet to find the most hideous outfit I had. It was a Halloween costume I had put together last year when I went as an old cat lady. I dressed Maisey up as a cat and she followed me around the whole party. The outfit consisted of an ill-fitting long skirt, a sweatshirt with a cat embroidered upon it, and some high knee socks with my house shoes.

I forewent the makeup and flipped my hair around a bit to mess it up. I walked out of my bedroom toward the kitchen and Maisey's eyes popped wide.

"Mommy, your costume. It's not Halloween."

"Sweet Jesus, Bella. I didn't think you looked bad before…just needed to tone it down a little." Irina replied aghast.

"Nope, I think I look perfect. He's taking me to 10128. Don't I just look the part?" I smiled.

"For the upper east side? Uh…sure…if you weren't planning on ever setting foot in Manhattan ever again."

"Calm yourself. Cheapskate is taking me to this Italian restaurant in the Village. So, of course, we can still step foot in the upper east side. Not like we did so much of that before." I replied dryly.

"Oh…the Village? So now we can't step foot down there. Great." She gave me a sarcastic thumbs up.

"I'll see you two later." I shook my head with a smile, "I will be home in time to tuck you in, baby."

"Promise?" Maisey asked.

"Double Mint gum promise." I vowed.

A subway car ride later, I was finally in front of an old Italian restaurant. I already was annoyed by Edward's choice as it smelled ghastly on approach. It wasn't that I was being unreasonable. I didn't want a five-star restaurant. Heck, I would have taken a hot dog vendor and a walk in Central Park over this. My problem with these dates was that the men never had any imagination. There was absolutely nothing special about this location. Not that I want hearts and flowers, I just wanted to know that there was hope for the future of dating. Everyone should feel special at least once in their lives.

I waved away a pool of tears, hating myself for even going there. I took in a deep breath and was quickly reminded why I shouldn't have as the stench of urine invaded my nostrils.

All right, Bella. Come on; time to put your game face on. You are going to march in that restaurant and make this Edward question God why he ever made him a man. Once you're done with him, he will be demanding a sex change.

I exhaled one last time and held my head high as I wandered in the direction of the Italian eatery. I made it to the entrance and cautiously opened the door to be greeted by the hostess.

"Good evening…uh…welcome to Mario's. Just…one for dinner?" The lengthy modelesque hostess couldn't hold back while she scanned my outfit.

"No. I am meeting someone for dinner." I began, "Uh…Edward something. Sorry, it's a blind date."

I could just imagine what was going through this girls mind. I was like the poster child for why you should never go on a blind date. She couldn't even find words. She just stood there nodding and looking concerned for my date.

It made me feel proud. I couldn't even imagine what the look on Edward's face would be. The bell ringing on the door had me turning toward the entrance once more to see if my date had finally made it. Yes, he had taken me to a place that had a bell on the door handle.

A man walked in dressed in some designer suit. I could feel a flutter in my chest as my eyes drank him up. He looked really good. Dang it, Bella. No, he doesn't. I'm not checking him out; I am simply appraising his efforts. It's something that one always does when on a blind date, take a mental inventory. Strong form. Broad shoulders. Sharp jaw line. Eyes so green that emeralds would be jealous. Hair…perfect hair. Of course he had perfect hair, most pricks did.

"Bella!" He greeted happily, "You look great. This is my date tonight, doesn't she look amazing."

His velvety voice practically enraptured both the hostess and I. He placed a soft hand around my waist and presented me with a monstrous bouquet. I hadn't even noticed the bouquet until he placed it in my arms.

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman."

"Uh..." Was all I managed.

Snap out of it, Bella. He's just acting this way to get into your pants. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. A son of Satan. Look at him, smug and arrogant, bringing you flowers like he actually gives a darn about you.

I looked down at the flowers and the bouquet reminded me of something I had placed on James's grave.

"Is there something wrong, Bella?" He immediately asked.

I looked up to him, perplexed. "The flowers…they…look like the ones I had for a funeral once."

Edward looked over to the hostess who actually looked sadden for me. Instantly, he took the flowers and threw them out the front door. The bell ringing as the door closed once more.

"My apologies. How thoughtless of me." Edward replied, stroking my cheek, "I promise I will do better in the future, Bella."

It was enough to sober me up from the moment I just experienced. I looked him over, wondering why he was being so nice to me. This didn't seem at all like the man Jessica had described to me. I looked over to the hostess and she actually swooned.

Son of a biscuit! He played me. He played me the way I was supposed to play him. Get the staff on your side first. I am going kill Michael Newton. He gave away my best stuff.

"Sure…forget it." I waved him off. I looked over to the hostess and could see her give me a discerning look for how I handled myself.

Edward looked over to the hostess, signaling her we were ready to be seated. We began to walk toward the back of the restaurant when Edward asked the young girl if we could be seated at this small little table near the restroom. I wanted to protest but knowing Michael, he probably warned him of my exit strategy.

"Is this table okay?" Edward asked.

"Don't you think it's a little unrefined to sit right near the bathroom? What if there's an odor?"

"I don't think we will have to worry. I come here all the time and their bathrooms are very well kept." Edward replied, pulling out my chair. Disheartened, I took my seat.

"Can I start you two off with something to drink?" The hostess asked us.

"May I see the wine list?" Edward smiled up to her.

This place actually was fancy enough to have a wine list?

"Absolutely." She started.

"Oh, you know what, this is a special night, how about a bottle of your finest?" Edward declared.

"I don't drink." I stated. "Recovering alcoholic."

"Really?" He looked me in the eye, trying to read the lie. I nodded, hoping to not give myself away.

"Okay, then…Bella, what would you like to drink?" Edward asked.

"I will have water."

"Two waters." Edward told the girl, and she finally left.

"So Bella or is it Isabella? Which do you prefer?" Edward started off the standard question answer part of the date.

I was wondering how much Michael told Edward so, absently, I started to play with the flame of the candle on the table. I looked up at Edward through my eye lashes and said, "Don't you love how a fire dances?"

"Uh…no. Actually, I don't." Edward quickly picked the candle up and blew out the flame. Reaching back to set it on the table behind him, "Sorry, bad memories."

Ooo, Michael, you are so dead.

Our little party was interrupted momentarily when our waitress brought our drinks over.

"Good evening, I'm Krista. I will be serving you this evening. Can I start you two off with an appetizer?"

Edward flashed his manwhore grin up at Krista and responded, "We will have your famous meatballs to start."

Didn't even ask me what I wanted. Check. I need to step up my game so I can get out of here in time to tuck Maisey in.

"So Bella, what do you think about this place so far?" Edward asked.

"I have never been to a place so fancy before." I replied, breathy.

"Really? O'Malley's is probably a little nicer than this. That's where I first saw you…you looked a little different but, my god, did you take my breath away."

Crap. I did look a lot different.

"Oh." I waved him off, "Jessica dressed me up that night. I never felt so naked in my life. She tried putting me in those evil clothes. She keeps trying to make me slutty but, you know how it is, a lady never has sex before marriage."

Edward choked on a sip of his water, "But wouldn't it suck to be stuck with a person who was unable to fulfill your needs. If you didn't have sex before marriage, you wouldn't know if you were sexually attracted or compatible with your husband."

"That's just what society wants you to think. What men want you to think. Give it up and sleep around so you can find the one, but all men want is the one…good screw."

The waitress came back to set our meatballs down on the table, and I noticed how Edward leered down her shirt when she bent over. I ordered the house spaghetti and he ordered the Fettuccine Alfredo, stating we could try one another's. I could see how well our waitress was attending to Edward's needs, and he wasn't unwelcoming, that's for sure.

She turned to walk away and Edward actually checked her out.

"Excuse me, did you just check out our waitress?" I snapped.

"What? No!" Edward defended.

"Yes, you did." I stood up quickly from my seat "What a jerk!"

"Bella, I am so sorry. Please don't go." Edward stood up to stop me. Purely in the moment, I snatched up one of his disgusting meatballs and smashed it onto his suit. Edward gasped and, for just a second, I saw fury in his eyes, but he quickly snapped out of it.

"I am an amazing woman who deserves better." I proclaimed.

Edward took ahold of my hands which were messy with meatball goop. "Bella, please don't walk out on me. I see a future with you. I want to make you so happy and be the prince to your Cinderella."

Cheesy much?

He began to kiss my fingers and I cringed, pulling my hand from his mouth.

"Let's start over. I want to make this up to you. We haven't even gotten dinner yet. Give me a second chance." He begged.

Why was he trying so hard? Didn't he realize that I was never going to sleep with him?

I soften for a moment and sit back down.

"Thank you." Edward replied.

"My apologies. I get a little crazy sometimes." I shook my meatball hands around wildly. "Besides, Jessica told me what a gentleman you were and I just want to find a good man who will be the perfect father to my children."

Edward faltered, "Children?"

"Oh yes, Jessica didn't tell you?" I gasped, "I have four scrumdiddlyumptious little angels at home." "You don't look old enough to be a mother…especially to four…children."

I could tell that he was having a hard time trying to figure out if I was lying or not, so I pulled out my purse and brought out the pictures. I had cut out pictures of messy kids from out of a few parenting magazines and laminated them for plan B. I often found that men's genitalia shriveled up when they heard talk of children.

"Anyway, I really want to try this meatball. It does look delish." My hand reached over to grab the final meatball. I picked it up with my fingers and ate it, making a mess of myself.

"Wow…uh…there's a fork wrapped in your napkin." Edward cringed and looked around, probably hoping that no one was witnessing my embarrassment. But I wasn't embarrassed, I was just hurried. I needed this darn date to end.

Our waitress came over and set down our plates in front of us. She shook her head in shock at seeing the state I was in. I may have made quit a mess of my embroidered cat sweater.

"Awe perfect. Your fettuccine looks amazing." I reached over and picked up a few strands of his pasta with my fingers and twirled them around above my mouth to drop them in.

"Have you ever been to this place called Medieval Times? They have knights and jousting. I went to the one out in Jersey and it was so much fun. You eat your whole meal with your fingers and I found it very freeing. You should try it." I smiled over to Edward.

I could see him losing his spirit for this game. It would only be a matter of moments before he would have had enough of me and finally leave. I could see the war he was having and, suddenly, there was no more war, he smiled at me and then picked up his own pasta with his fingers.

"You're right, this is amazing. Here have some more." He reached over with a scoop of pasta and pushed it toward my mouth. Like a baby bird, I leaned down and opened my mouth while he fed it to me, my hair sliding into my spaghetti.

"Awe dangnabit!" I fussed with my hair, "I need to go and clean this out. Would you excuse me for a moment?"

I started to get up, but Edward jumped up swiftly with his water glass, "Here, let me help you."

He took my spaghetti soiled hair and dipped it straight into his glass.

"See, all better."

I sighed and tried to hide any irritation.

"Such a gentleman." I sat back down and picked up some of my spaghetti, "Now, it's my turn."

I held out the spaghetti and tried to make it into Edward's mouth but, instead, it just dropped onto his suit and hit the table. I could see his fingers fold into fists as he tried to keep his anger at bay.

"Shoot! They should really have bibs in a place like this."

The waitress came back over and, seeing the state of us two, she promptly turned back around and left.

"I'm such a klutz. I am so sorry, Edward. I hope that suit wasn't expensive." I picked up my napkin and tried to help him wipe it off but instead I just smeared it further.

"It's fine. Forget it happened." Edward replied pulling my hands of him.

I wiped my dirty hands on my sweater, "Just look at me, I think I need to excuse myself for a moment."

"Hurry back, Bella. I can't wait to see what's in store for dessert. I'll be sure to watch out for you just in case you get lost back to our table." He warned.

I shook my head slightly and quickly walked to the bathroom. With eagle eye Edward out there, how was I going to escape? I felt horribly sticky and, at this point, I really hoped that I could make it past Maisey and Irina for a change of clothes before they saw me.

I walked into the bathroom that had two stalls and it was empty. I tried to wash myself off as best as I could, but the pasta sauce surely wasn't going to come out of my cat sweater. I sighed and stared down into the sink; I briefly looked up and saw the state I was in. This was definitely the last time I would ever give a Bella Special.

My eye caught something behind me, and I could see a small window on the wall. It was small but I could fit out of it. I looked around and shook with excitement, I had my exit strategy. I lifted up the window and pushed off the screen with ease. I hoisted myself up, happy that I had strong arms to do so, and slid out the bathroom window.

The window led to a dark dirty little ally, but I wasn't going to complain about my freedom. I jumped down to the street and quickly found the screen and reattached it. It took only a moment, but I could feel myself get giddy. I did a quick celebration dance and flipped around.

I immediately gasped as I came face to face with my date.

"Going somewhere, Bella?"

* * *

**AN: **So excited to see so many people have decided to follow this story. I really hope I don't disappoint. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. It's much appreciated!

Many thanks to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl. **She worked her butt off to get me this chapter so I could get it to you.

Character credit to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

I stared at Edward's pasta covered suit and shook my head. I had been caught. Never, in all the dates that I had been on, did I ever get caught leaving. Darn that Mike! My eyes finally venture back up to his eyes and I can see a mixture of superiority and malice.

"So what if I am leaving?" I snapped, "You and I both knew what we signed up for when we agreed to come on this date. Michael told you all about me, so you don't get to be upset with me."

Edward began pushing me back further into the ally, away from the street and its pedestrians.

"Don't touch me." I ordered.

"Don't tell me what I'm allowed to feel." He countered. "I actually wanted to come on this date. I was the one who asked Jessica to set us up, because I actually found you attractive and wanted to get to know you."

I laughed, ironically. "Oh, really? I thought it was just what was inside my pants that you wanted to get to know. Don't deny it. Jessica told me all about your man whore ways."

"Because Jessica knows everything about me." He retorted. "Really says a lot about you for you to take everything that Jessica tells you."

"Are really going to tell me that you're not a man whore?" I raised a challenging eyebrow.

He stood there staring at me for a minute and then replied, "Apparently, I'm as much of a man whore as you're a prude."

"Says the man who checked out our waitress."

"Of course I was going to check out the waitress. You were sitting there in a lumpy cat sweater. It's a lesson that women need to learn in life, don't get all pissy when your man's eyes start to wander because you no longer take care of yourselves. Then you wonder why men cheat while you sit there on your couches gaining twenty pounds and not bothering to take care of customary grooming practices because you feel you no longer have to work as hard."

"You are such a disgusting prick."

"At least I'm not pathetic. You go on these dates with guys and don't even give them a chance. You're so caught up in all your tricks that you wouldn't know what a decent guy was."

"I never even wanted to go on these dates. You think I like showing up to all these loser restaurants with these loser guys and finding ways to embarrass myself just to teach everyone a lesson?" I gestured to my spaghetti soaked clothes.

"Yes, I think you do. I think some "loser" broke your heart one time and, instead of putting on your big girl panties and getting the fuck over it, you just decided to make it your mission to ruin all men."

"You don't know anything about me." I spit through my clenched teeth.

"Oh Bella, I'm allowed to falsely judge you just as much as you do of me. There are no double standards here, missy."

"Don't you call me missy." I snapped.

"Missy. Missy. Missy. MISSY!" He yelled.

"You're like a two-year old."

"Real rich coming from the woman covered in spaghetti." He retorted.

"I don't have time for this. What do you want from me? Do you want me to cover my half of the bill, is that it?" I pulled out my wallet and threw a twenty at him, "Here, maybe you can find yourself a prostitute, since the last thing I know you want is some meaningful connection. The absolute horror if you actually had to pay attention to one girl and one girl only."

"You want to think I'm a man…" he paused for a second and snapped his head over toward the end of the ally. His whole body froze like a statue.

"What…" I snapped, walking forward a little to see what he was looking at. Instantly, he pushed me back up against the wall, blocking my view with the crates that were stacked beside us.

"What the…" He slapped his hand across my mouth, stopping me from saying another word, and I started to fight him.

"Bella, you have to shut the fuck up." He hissed.

I wanted to fight him, but the look in his eyes and overall demeanor told me I should follow his direction. I could finally hear what he was trying to hide us from. A few people had come out of the exit at the end of the ally and were having a conversation.

"What the fuck's the matter with you. We've know each other twenty years. You're like a brother to me." A man spit. "You betrayed this family. Fucking rat."

"Joey, no…I…didn't. I swear. Please. Please don't do this." Another man pleaded.

"Tony says you've been talking to the feds. Told them all about Dominguez. What did you tell them, Bobby?"

"Nothing. They approached me, but I never told them anything. I would never…"

"I think you're lying, Bobby. You should have known that you're not the only one to have friends in the F.B.I."

I could feel my chest rising and falling. My heartbeat quickened and I could feel the harsh wall upon my back as Edward's body was pressed up against mine, trying to keep us hidden from the three men at the end of the ally.

"I have kids…I have a wife…please…please."

"Do it." The third man finally spoke.

I looked over through the holes in the crates; I could see the man on his knees as he begged and cried. I saw the man with a prominent mustache take out a gun and just like that, he shot him like he was nothing.

Edward pulled me to his chest, I'm not sure if to shield me from seeing anything further, or if to try to muffle my cries. I tried to stay quiet, but I was trembling uncontrollably. It was like a movie in my head, playing on a loop, I could picture the man falling to the ground over and over.

"Shh...shh…" Edward tried to calm me.

"Get rid of it. Call Tony and tell him that…he's just been promoted."

It's almost over. Leave. Just leave. I chanted in my head, praying to god for some miracle.

I felt a vibration in my pocket seconds before my phone started ringing.

"I've got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine…."

I scrambled to get to my phone, but my nerves were shot and my hands shaky, I dropped the phone to the ground.

"Run!" Edward yelled as he pulled me back, stopping me from picking the phone up. He grabbed my hand and started to pull me with him. I could hear yelling going on behind us and a whoosh of air rushing past my hair, as I assumed it was from debris being thrown at us.

I hung onto Edward's hand with all my might, even though our sweaty palms were making it difficult. We hadn't run far, but I was already panting to keep up. Edward pulled us out into traffic, the cars honking and skidding to a stop inches from us had me screaming and it caused me to falter.

Edward looked back and, in a second of deliberation, had me up and over his shoulder. Which was a rather unhealthy decision, because now I could see the violent pursuers on our tail waving their guns at us.

"Faster. Faster." I slapped Edward's back as I saw them gaining on us.

I no longer saw the old man who gave the order of execution but, instead, five other guys replaced him. Even with carrying me, Edward was still quite a bit ahead of them, but we couldn't keep running forever.

My body bumped up and down on Edward's shoulders as he flew down the steps of the subway station. He flew through the handicapped turnstile and, with all the pedestrians around, the men who were after us stowed their guns. Within just an inch of our lives, we had made it on the subway car right before the doors closed.

Edward set me back down on my feet. He had just run a great distance, carrying a hefty load, but I was the one panting. I managed a look around the subway car, saw that we were all alone, and then came my breakdown.

"We need to get off at the next stop." Edward informed.

"You're going to die…you're going to die." I started to fall apart. I couldn't see how we were ever going to get out of this now.

Edward took ahold of my shoulders and shook me. "We are not going to die. I promise."

I looked up at him, "I'm cursed. You don't understand. Everyone dies…you're going to die."

He put his hands on my face and forced me to look at him, "We are both going to be fine. We are going to a safe house, and then you and I are going to go somewhere where they can't find us."

I was already shaking my head. "No…no…I can't. I have to get home. I have to go."

I needed to get out of this subway car and get home to my baby. I tried to push him off, but he wouldn't let go of me.

"You can't go home, Bella. That was the Santini family. You saw what these people are capable of. In a matter of moments, they will know everything there is to know about you. Your home is the first place they are going to look."

I started to fight him even more to get away. I could feel the subway car slowing.

"What is the matter with you?" Edward barked.

"Maisy. I have to get home. My daughter is at home." I yelled. "Let me out of here!"

Edward's jaw dropped and, after he recovered from my revelation, he pulled me back from the doors I was trying to open. "Wait…you were serious? You have kids?"

"No. I have one kid…I…I…oh god. Oh god. Oh god." I shook my head, sliding down to a seat on the car, "This is all my fault."

Edward crouched down to me, "Bella, listen to me. I will call Mike and he will go and pick up your daughter. But you and I have to get off the streets. I know you like to be stubborn and in control, but this is what I do every single day. You have to trust me. You don't have to like me, but you have to trust me. You go home and you will end up dead and, quite possibly, so will your daughter. We have to go to the authorities and tell them what we saw. Do you understand me?"

I continued to stare down at the dirty floor. "Maybe…I can talk to them…maybe I can…tell them that I won't say anything. I…"

"Do you hear yourself?" Edward groaned out in frustration. "They just shot a man because they think he betrayed him. A man they've known for twenty years. They won't hesitate to do the same to you just because you're a woman and have a kid. You will end up at the bottom of the ocean if you try to go to them. Stop being so ignorant."

I finally felt the fear transform itself, and now I felt my mind go into survival mode.

"The only person I care about is my daughter. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe, even if that means I have to forget about the man who just had his brains blown out. Authorities? You think I'm going to put my trust into the government? I watch the news and I know that people like me…people who have seen things, they end up dead every day because the government can't keep them safe. I will take my chances on my own."

"God, how can you not hear how stupid you sound?" He yelled back at me, "You think you will last two seconds out there without protection? These people make it their life's work to ensure that witnesses end up dead."

"Hello! Did you not hear that man? He said he had friends in the F.B.I. How long do you think it will be before we are sold out? So moving forward, I am not going to put my trust into one person from the F.B.I., C.I.A., or any other acronym for that matter. As far as I'm concerned, all those government people are just a bunch of pinheads." I yelled back.

"I'm the F.B.I." Edward declared.

"Fine, all of you government people are a bunch of pinheads."

The train came to a stop and the doors opened.

"Do what you have to…but I have to get to my daughter and get the hell away from you." I stepped off the subway car and was about to make my way to the surface of the station when Edward pulled me back.

"Isabella Swan, I am placing you under the custody of the United States…"

"What the heck are you doing?" I screamed.

"Doing what I have to." Edward replied, tying my wrists in front of me with a zip tie. "You start to make a scene and it will only draw attention to us, that is not something we need right now. I will get your daughter to you, but you have to work with me here."

"Fine." I huffed, "Do you think you can at least take off this stupid restraint?"

"No, because I don't trust you."

He pulled out his phone and proceeded to push me along up the stairs. Once we reached the surface, he looked around for a second, and then dragged me away from the subway station. I looked around at all the people walking and no one seemed to be looking for us, but knowing that we were both on somebody's kill list made me paranoid.

"Would you stop that?" Edward hissed.

"What?" I spit.

"People are going to think something is up if you keep staring at them like that."

"I can't help it."

"Try." He ordered. He finally was able to make contact on his cell phone to Michael."We have a problem. I need your help now."

I managed to take my focus off the pedestrians as I stained to hear what Michael and he were talking about.

"I'm heading to six on foot. I have Bella and I need you to call the director. It's serious."

"Maisey." I reminded him and he waved me off.

"And…then go to Bella's apartment and pick up her daughter and bring her…also, if you can, some change of clothes. But hurry and get out of there. I suspect company could be invading any moment. Get in and get out."

He shut his phone off and we forged on.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked after we had been walking for a half hour.

"Some place safe. It's a place that those government pinheads keep clear for situations like this."

"Good to know my tax dollars pay for something." I retorted.

"No one has ever died while in my custody. Something that I am very prideful of, but you keep making your little comments about my job and there could be a first." He threatened.

I breathed out through my nose, asking god for patience, as I stared up at him scornfully.

"Hurry up! The sooner we get to this magical government protected place, the sooner you'll be out of my life."

He stopped walking and looked over at me with an evil little smirk.

"What?" I snapped.

"Oh…nothing." He sang.

I rolled my eyes and continued walking on. I don't know what kind of game he was trying to play, but my daughter's life and my life were at stake. I didn't need his pompous butt to mess with me. I couldn't believe this situation. What was I going to do? I had no one to turn to at a time like this. I had no money, so how the heck was I going to be able to get Maisey and myself to somewhere safe?

Come on Bella, you are not allowed to breakdown. Maisey needs you. You have to be strong.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, looking over to me.

"Nothing." I replied.

"You look constipated."

"I am giving myself words of validation, if you must know."

Edward laughed, "My god, how in the hell did I ever find you attractive?"

We reached the building we had been heading to, and Edward walked up to the keypad on the wall beside the door and punched in a code. The door buzzed and Edward pulled the door open, pulling me through.

"Do you think you can finally take off these restraints? I'm obviously not going to run. You have my daughter."

Edward sighed, shook his head, and then snapped the plastic tie right off. I rolled my wrists to get back circulation in them.

"Oh shit, did you get shot?" Michael exclaimed as he walked out to the entry room.

"It's spaghetti, dumbass. Do you really think we could be walking around if we had been shot?" Edward retorted.

"Oh." Michael deflated, "Ohhhh…the Bella special. Nice."

He looked over and winked at me.

"Not nice. This whole night would have gone a hell of a lot different if you guys never made me go on the stupid date." I snapped.

"Calm down there, missy." Edward pulled me back from advancing on Michael.

"Where is my daughter?" I demanded.

"She's fine. In watching a Disney movie and eating milk and cookies." Michael replied. "What happened?"

"I want to see her." I said dismissing Michael's questioning.

"We saw Joey Santini kill one of his men tonight. Best part is that Joseph Senior was there and giving the order. We got him, Michael. We got the son of a bitch." Edward slapped his hands together.

"Best part is?" I growled. "We see a man get his head blown off, we get chased by goons with guns who want to kill us, and there's a silver lining to this night?"

The door opened once more behind me, and another man walked in. He was tall and broad, almost like Edward, but he had a more professional air about him. This was one serious guy.

"What's going on? You drag me out of dinner with my family, this better be good." He looked us over and can't decide, from the state our clothes are in, whether this is a serious call or a hoax. He looks over to me and asked, "Who is this?"

"Uh…that's my date…Isabella Swan. Bella, this is Special Agent Jacob Black, another government pinhead."

I scowled in his direction.

"Edward says that they witnessed Joseph and Joey Santini killing a guy." Michael began explaining.

"You actually saw Joseph there?" The special agent asked.

"Yes, and not only that, but they talked about Dominguez. I heard it all." Edward answered.

"I want to be brought in on this, sir." Michael requested.

"No. We have enough people already on this case. Go home, Michael, your job here is done."

"But…" He protested.

"NOW!" Special Agent Black ordered.

Michael sighed, looked between Edward and I, and then shook his head while he walked out of our "safe" house.

As soon as Michael was gone, Special Agent Black looked back over to Edward. "I don't want anyone knowing where I am sending you two. There is no way I am compromising this opportunity. I'm going to put you on a plane and send you…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…Mr…government official. My daughter and I are not going anywhere with you, and we are definitely not going anywhere with him." I insisted.

"And here is our problem. Bella seems to think she will be able to last her own, she doesn't need our help because, apparently, she has all the training she needs to survive a professional crime organization hunting her down." Edward mocked.

"I may not have training, but there is a leak within your organization, and I am not putting my daughter's life in your hands when it's just a matter of time before you people slip up and sign our death sentences."

"Oh, and she also seems to think that if she just goes to the head of the Santini family and explains how she doesn't plan on testifying, that they will just leave her and her daughter alone. It seems that Bella lives in a fantasy world." Edward added.

"Where is my daughter? I'm not going to spend one more minute in a room with you."

"ENOUGH!" Special Agent Black roared. "Both of you. How in the hell did you both ever think that dating each other was a good idea?"

"I didn't want to date him." I replied disgusted.

"…didn't know she was a frigid bitch." Edward criticized.

"Well, you better work it out. The last thing you both want to do is be the talk of the town with your cat fights. You cannot draw attention to yourselves."

"Did you not hear me? I am not going anywhere with that man."

Special Agent Black looked at me with contempt, and then he slowly pulled out his phone and tapped on it.

"I want you to look at these." Jacob handed me his phone. "Go ahead, a little slide show of every person in the past five years who has been in your place and they denied government protection. Your obstinacy is going to be the end of you and your daughter. If you won't do this for yourself, do this for her."

Picture after picture went by of some of the most haunting and horrifying images I would ever see. The worst part was that it wasn't just adults, there were children and babies. Some who looked to have been burned alive, others with gunshots injuries, and more with slit throats.

"You have no idea who you are dealing with. You cannot do this alone, Bella. No one will know where you two are being kept except me. Edward may be an ass, but he's one of my best, and I know he will do his job no matter how difficult the situation." He stated pointedly to Edward.

I sighed and handed the phone back to Jacob. I was terrified and not in my right mind. I didn't know if I was going to survive this ordeal but I knew that, with my past, there was a definite possibility that when this thing was over, someone would be dead. It couldn't be Maisey. I would kill myself if anything ever happened to her. She was my everything, the only reason I could get out of bed every morning. If staying with a man I loathed was the answer to keeping her safe, then I would do it.

"Okay." I whispered. "I'll cooperate."

* * *

**AN: **Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. A special thanks to the website **Rob Attack** for featuring The Lottery of Life this week. It is much appreciated and I am honored.

A great big thanks to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl **for getting this back so quickly so I could get it out to you all.

Character credit to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

My little angel looked at absolute peace as I held her in my arms. Her stuffed animal duck, Quackers, held firmly in her tiny hands. She had no idea the horrors that were going on all around her and I was envious of that ignorance. I wanted to go back to a time when the only images that had been put in my head recently would have been the product of movies or television. It's funny really, with all the death that surrounds me, I had never seen a person die before. To actually see as the last bit of life was taken, and to know that it was all just so final. But I had a job to do, my daughter was priority number one, and I couldn't be helpless any longer. I wasn't allowed to think on the horrors that I had witnessed and allow myself to become caught up in them. I had to remain strong for her.

Special Agent Black needed to brief Edward on our upcoming travel arrangements, so they had been stuck in the outer room for nearly a half hour. I was weary thinking about where in the world this Jacob Black was planning on sending us. I couldn't imagine having to leave New York. I loved New York and this had always been my home. What about my studio? Without me there, it would surely close now. All my life's work, up and gone in the course of one night.

I turn my gaze back to my baby and have a moment of clarity. I see her soft golden brown curls and her perfect little pout of the lips that she does when she is zonked out, and I know that it doesn't matter where we are to be exiled. It doesn't matter that the studio is gone. Wherever we are going, as long as she is safe, none of it matters.

"Are you ready?" Edward approached.

I looked over to the television screen that played the credits to Snow White and sighed. My eyes once again found Edward's face and I nodded. I started to get up with Maisey in my arms, and Edward reached out for her.

"No. I have her." I stated protectively.

"You're going to have to learn to trust me." Edward replied.

"Before we go, let me make something very clear to you. I don't like you, but I will trust you as much as I am capable. However, if anything happens to her…" I looked down at my sleeping angel. "You won't have to worry about what the Italians will do to you, because I will do far worse."

I walked past him and out of the cold dark room we had been sitting in towards Special Agent Black.

"I sense the tension between you two, and I don't want you trying to kill Edward for my decision, so I think it's best if I tell you that the best way for you all to remain off the radar is to go in as…a family." He asked me.

"I am not going to be his…wife or something." I protested.

"I already knew that wouldn't work. It's hard to have a child be expected to keep up a role and bringing in someone to play daddy wouldn't be easy for her to comprehend. You will be brother and sister. You both can figure out a good back story on your flight but, whatever it is, under absolutely no circumstance should you at any time try to contact anyone you know. Stay there. Don't draw attention. Blend in."

I nodded, "I understand."

"Let's get going." He turned abruptly to walk out in front of me, and Edward followed behind. Outside was a SUV parked on the street for us.

I watched as the New York City lights past us by and wondered if I would ever see this place again. Every memory I had invaded my mind, and it was the only thing able to block the death I had witnessed just over an hour ago. I wiped a tear away quickly and then turned my gaze away from the city.

"I think you'll get a kick out of the name of the town we're going to. Might find it a bit ironic."

I looked over to Edward and shook my head.

"How can you be so calm? How do you…just turn your back on everything you know and leave it all so easily?" I asked desperately. "I look out that window and I don't even see the city that I was born and raised in, I see the city that I will no longer have a future in…we will no longer have a future in. I just lost nearly everything. My life. My business. My home. It's all gone now."

Edward sighed and turned his gaze away from me to stare out the window. "It's easy…when you've already lost everything."

It was the first time I could look at Edward and think of him as a human being. We had only known each other a couple of hours and I think it was safe to say that we blended together about as well as oil and water. However, maybe I wasn't the only one in pain in this car.

We arrived at a tiny air space in New Jersey and I was completely exhausted. Edward had lost the spaghetti stained suit coat, and Michael hadn't brought me much to choose from out of my closet, but it was still better than the cat sweater.

"Is there anything I can get for you from your home? Anything that you don't want to lose?" Special Agent Black asked me just before I was about to board the small plane.

"Pictures…if it's possible. I…don't have much, but my photo albums are really important to me." I replied, "Thank you. I know that I may seem hostile and ungrateful, but I'm just…really losing my mind here, so I apologize for my behavior."

He gave me a small smile and nodded his head, "It's okay. You have every right to lose your mind a little. Just not too much. Be smart. Be strong. And…" He paused coming closer to me, "Edward has always been a jerk to all of us…that's how we know he likes us."

I furrowed my brow, confused, and Special Agent Black pulled back, giving me a wink.

"All right, everything on board?" He yelled back to Edward.

"Yes sir." Edward replied.

"Good luck." The special agent smirked, "I have a feeling you'll both need it."

I rolled my eyes and continued boarding the pint-sized plane. I found a seat, laid Maisey down upon it, and then took the seat next to her. Edward said a few words to our pilot and then proceeded toward the liquor cabinet. I watched his every move, because the effort he put into making his drink looked like a dance.

"Did you want some?" He asked, "Oh wait, I forgot, recovering alcoholic."

"No. I'm…not an alcoholic. It was…just one of the many lies I told you." I sighed.

He smiled and shook his head, "So…do you want some?"

"Do you have any wine? I could really use a glass."

"Wine it is." He opened up the mini fridge and popped open a bottle of wine, abandoning his scotch. He poured two glasses and walked over to take the seat directly across from me. He was just about to hand me my glass when he pulled back his hand and asked, "So…was there anything you told me on our date that was actually truthful?"

"Maybe." I replied coyly. "And I don't plan on telling you which is which."

I snatched the glass of wine out of his hands and leaned back in my chair, savoring the flavor as I took the first sip.

"You are an odd one, Isabella Swan."

"I try." I replied dryly. "So what about you? Any actual truth to anything you told me on the date?"

"My name." he smirked. "I'm an open book, Bella. You can ask me anything."

"You seem to know more about me then me of you. Looks like Michael was better at prepping you then Jessica was of me."

"I doubt that. Other than your name and the tricks you have played in the past, I still know very little about you."

"What is your name?" I wondered, "Jessica just kept calling you Edward the…well, some word I would never repeat."

"Cullen. Edward Cullen. But, by all means, you are always free to call me…whatever Jessica called me. Coming from off your lips, it would be hot."

I rolled my eyes and tried to not be creeped out. "So, you really are a…"

"Manwhore? You know how it is. Some frightfully traumatic experience or childhood issue unresolved that drives a man to place all his focus into fucking rather than finding something meaningful, because of some fear I must possess."

I quickly covered Maisey's ears, "Do you mind? I would like to keep her vocabulary as clean as possible."

"She's asleep." He exclaimed. "And by the way, who names their child Maisey? Sounds like the name of a cow, not a little girl."

"I don't care what you think and, even though she's asleep, she could still hear us. I can't imagine that you've been around many children before, so if you would please try to keep your fifthly mouth respectable for the time being, it would be greatly appreciated."

"My god, Bella. You…it must be exhausting living in your world. No cursing. No sex. No fun. How do you even manage to go on with your life?"

"You don't have to have sex or cursing to have fun, Edward."

"Well thank you for the powerful lesson, as always, PBS, but I think I will stick to my sinful ways."

He snatched up his drink and stormed off toward the cockpit, finding his abandoned scotch from before and taking that with him as well.

What a jerk! I couldn't believe he would get his undies into a bunch because I asked him to respect my daughter's innocence. I swallowed the last of my wine and lowered the back on my chair. I stared up at the ceiling of the plane and wiped a few tears away. I refused to believe that my tears were the result of Edward's outburst. I felt incredibly confused, lost, and scared. How in the world was I going to live with this man? Wasn't there some way they could have reassigned him? Anyone would be better than Edward.

I finally was able to find sleep, even though it was terribly nosey on the plane. However, I don't believe it was much sleep since Maisey had awoken from a nightmare.

"Mommy. Mommy, where are we?"

I practically jumped out my seat to find Maisey looking around frightened.

"It's okay, baby. We went on a plane trip. Everything is fine." I lied, because everything was so not fine. I took ahold of her and brought her to my lap.

She looked around and then cautiously pushed off of me to go and look out the window.

"I've never been on an airplane before."

"I know. Isn't it exciting?"

"You should've woken me up. I missed the whole thing." She scolded me.

"It was very late and you should be sleeping."

"Where are we going?"

I didn't know what to tell her, because I didn't know. Edward tried telling me before, but I didn't even care at the time to listen. I stared at her questioning eyes, trying to figure out just what I was going to tell her. Edward walked back in from the cockpit and saw that Maisey was up.

"Who's he, mommy?"

"Uh…" I shook my head, unable to find a way to tell her that we had to move during the night to a place that even I didn't know of with a man I can't stand.

"I'm your Uncle Edward. Hasn't your mommy ever told you about me?" Edward took over, sensing my hesitation.

"No. I didn't know I had an Uncle Edward. Does this mean you're going to bring me presents like Kristen's uncle?" She asked.

"Yea…of course it does. I have a lot of time to make up for, right?"

"Do you know where we are going to?" she asked him.

"I do, but it's a secret. Can you keep a secret?" Edward asked playfully.

"I'm the best at secrets."

Edward motioned her to come over, and then whispered in her ear.

Maisey's face lit up and, even though Edward was still a jerk in my book, I couldn't help but smile at how he managed to make her happy when everything was going wrong in our world. Of course, she didn't need to know that. I had never spoken much to her about my family, and I guess she was at an age where she didn't think to ask too many questions on the subject. Not that she didn't ask questions but, in her world, it had always been just the two of us since she couldn't even remember her own father. I sometimes wondered if that was a blessing or a disservice toward her.

"Is that where Disneyland is?" She asked.

"No…but you are in for a real treat. You'll be able to breathe deeply and not be exposed to the toxic fumes of city buses and taxi cars. You can run for miles and not run into a building."

"It sounds funny. Why are we going?"

"We are just going…for a little while. Um…uh…"I was completely useless. My mind was all jumbled and I hated lying to her.

"We are going…" Edward took over once again, "because I wanted to get to know you. I have missed seeing my sister, and I wanted to meet you so I asked your mom if it would be okay to have you guys move in with me for a little while so we can get to know one another. Would that be okay?"

She looked confused and I'm sure she must have been. I had never taken her out of New York before. Mostly, I couldn't afford to take her on any special trips or vacations. I still wasn't sure where we were headed to, but I have a feeling that both Maisey and I were about to be in for a real culture shock.

"What about school? I'm going into the first grade and I already met my teacher, Miss Hass."

Of course this would be my daughter's first concern. She was like me, she loved school and was anticipating summer being over so she could return.

"You're going to go to a new school, baby. I'm sure your teacher there will be wonderful and kind." I tried to assure her.

"And my friends?" She asked longingly.

"You'll make new friends. That way, you can have friends everywhere." I replied.

"But, I like my friends." She started to cry.

"I know. I know." I picked her back up and settled her on my lap while she continued to cry on my shoulder. "I know this is really hard, and you're probably scared because everything is going to be so new but, I promise you, I will always be with you. I love you and we are going to learn all this new stuff together."

I looked up to Edward and I could tell that he was struggling to find something to say that would make it better but, that was the thing about children, sometimes there wasn't anything you could do or say, sometimes you just had to hope that, in the end, everything would be all right.

There was still so much I wanted to know, I needed to know, and yet every time Edward and I would speak to one another it would turn into a fight. I needed to find a way to bite my tongue so we could get through a simple conversation. Unfortunately, now that Maisey was up, I would need to wait for a time when she fell back asleep or found a distraction.

Finally, after about four hours, I could feel the plane make its decent. It was dark, but I could see the lights of the city as we came closer to the ground.

"Where are we?" I whispered, seeing that Maisey had finally tired herself back to sleep.

"Not our final destination. I have to go and speak to the pilot, but buckle up and we'll be on the ground soon."

I sighed and watched as he left. I could feel my own exhaustion taking over, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. I watched as the lights on the ground became closer and closer until I felt the plane land with a gentle bump.

Edward walked back in and opened the door before coming back to me. Once again, he held out his arms for me to give him my daughter and, once again, I pulled her back.

"Bella, you're exhausted. Would you please just let me help you?"

I stared up at him for a minute and could feel myself fighting the fatigue, but I was failing.

"Okay."

Edward leaned down and picked Maisey up under her arms and secured her to his body. I pulled myself from out of the chair and stretched for the first time in hours, following behind him. There was a car waiting for us on the tarmac, and I was surprised that it was already outfitted with a child seat.

Edward set Maisey in the child seat and I climbed in the other side to help secure her. She was small for her age so, unfortunately, it would probably be another year before she was allowed to ride with the basic restraint. I know how much she hated these child seats, but it was rare for us to ever use a car in the past so it hadn't been much of an issue.

"So will you tell me where we are now?" I asked again when Edward sat down in the driver's seat.

"We're in Denver, but we're not staying here. Everything we are doing is to erase where we are going. We are going to dump the car and then drive for a couple more hours to our final destination."

"What's wrong with the car?" I asked.

"First of all, it is way too conspicuous. Secondly, even though I don't think the pilot will try to rat us out, I can't take that chance so I don't want anyone knowing any kind of description of what we are driving. We are going to head out of the city and dump the car. I already know of a place that sells some used trucks and the guy I am meeting with already has something set up."

"So…you've done this before?"

"Of course. That's why I'm the best."

"And…nobody that you have protected…have ended up dead, correct?"

Edward stopped the car and looked back at me, "You do what I say and you both will be safe, but I can already tell that you and I…we are like fireworks. I can't have you in a moment of anger running off your mouth, or worse, trying to contact someone because you're pissed off at me. You could jeopardize everything and if you care at all about her life, then you will do as I say."

"Of course I care about her life. That's why we're even here. Why I am putting my trust into some guy who…" I started to get angry at the implication but then I stopped myself, realizing that this was exactly what I needed to work on. "Like I said before, I will do whatever it takes. I will trust you as much as I am capable. But I am scared. I am willing to admit that to you. I don't care if you are the most irritating person on the planet, if you can get us through this, then I will thankful and in your debt."

Edward stared at me and then nodded slowly, "I promise…I will do everything in my power. I know you're scared…so am I."

He turned back to the wheel and put the car back into drive. I settled myself back into the seat and allowed my eyes to close for a few minutes. I must have fallen fast and deep. I could see the man named Bobby as he begged for his life. I watched as he was shot and then the two murderers looked up and, as clear as day, told me I was next. I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn't move. I stood there, paralyzed, with the barrel of the gun pointed directly at my face. With absolute detail, the trigger was pulled back and then bam!

I snapped up out of my nightmare and looked around frantically. Edward had just exited the car and I had hoped that was the bam I had heard in my dream, him slamming the car door. I clutched my chest and heard Maisey begin to stir.

"What happened?"

"It…was just the car door. Go back to sleep, honey." I brushed her curls out of her face and continued to look around to see if I could tell where we were, but we looked to be in the middle of nowhere. Edward had walked off a fair distance and I faintly could hear him speak to another person. It was a very long five minutes before Edward finally came back to the car.

"Oh, you're awake."

"Car door. How long was I out for?" I asked.

"About an hour, but we're here now so let me move the bags over before you get out. It's a bit cold. You'll need to get a jacket soon."

Edward closed his door once again, but I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and stumbled to get out of the car.

"Uh…is that what we're taking?" I looked over at this old truck that was parked near us.

"Yep."

"Do…you think that it's sturdy enough to handle getting us to wherever we're going?" I asked skeptically.

"It will do the job."

The truck looked to be over forty years old. It was one of those old Ford trucks that were built to last…and to rust. It wasn't that I was expecting a Mercedes, but I wanted to know we wouldn't be stranded either.

"Will the child seat fit in that?"

"Nope. They don't require those. She'll be fine sitting between you and I."

I stood there, staring at the truck, while Edward packed all his stuff from the car trunk. After a few seconds past he stopped what he was doing and looked over at me.

"Would you please not freak out on me. This truck is safe. Maisey will be safe."

"It's just…"

"God, I've only known you a couple of hours and, already, I can read you like a book." Edward laughed.

"Isn't that part of your job description, Mr. F.B.I.?" I snapped. "If you knew I would react this way, why wouldn't you have opted for something safer?"

"Well, excuse me for not having the time to go down Carmax and pick something family friendly out. We're on a bit of a time crunch if you haven't noticed. We don't have the luxury of being picky, so stop your complaining and get Maisey situated."

I stood there obstinate and offended with my arms crossed.

"Bella, either you go and get her or I will. Then I will wrangle your stubborn ass into this truck, even if I have to hogtie you to do it." He threatened.

"You wouldn't dare."

"At this point, it would be the highlight of my day. Don't tempt me."

I put my head in my hands and tried to breathe deeply to keep me from going off on him. After a couple of breaths I went over to Maisey's side and unstrapped her from the car seat. I put her on my shoulder and carried her over to the waiting rust bucket Edward had found. I had a bit of trouble climbing into the seat, especially since Maisey was weighing me down.

"Give her to me."

I gave Edward a look so lethal I was surprised his face didn't melt off, but he took it and then ordered, "Now."

I handed Maisey off once again and climbed into the truck, waiting for Edward to give her back to me. I set Maisey down beside me and held her close to me. Edward climbed into the truck and started up the heater.

We drove along the highway for quite a while, neither of us speaking to one another until, apparently, Edward finally had enough.

"You and I can't turn everything into an argument. It's not healthy for Maisey. I know what's it like to be in a house with two screaming adults and, trust me, it fucks…screws you up." He stopped himself, and I could tell he was berating himself for the crass language he used.

"I will work on the language thing, but you have to work on being less stubborn. So for the time being can we call a truce? Can you not turn every single thing into an argument?"

I bit my lip and waited for a few seconds before replying.

"Can you try to understand that I am just being a parent? I am not fighting with you because it's…you. I just don't think you know how to see things the way I see them. I am responsible for another human being and…"

"I am responsible for two human beings for the time being. I think I get what you're going through. However, what is the worst thing that will happen if you fail Maisey in some way? If I fail you two…you'll end up dead. I have a hell of a lot more pressure than you do at the moment."

I wanted to fight back, but then I stopped myself and looked him over. I had two naps, albeit small, but it was something. He hadn't slept since god knows when and had been doing all the work. I could see him struggling with the fatigue and I'm sure our arguments weren't doing anything to help.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, "I think you and I really need to get some sleep before we begin discussing this arrangement. How far away are we from our final destination, which you still haven't told me?"

"Only an hour. There's this farm house out in the middle of nowhere. The town nearby has a population of three hundred and sixty-eight."

"Small town America, eh?"

"More like the small ass of America. We'll be so bored that fighting with one another will be a godsend." He replied.

"So…you really will miss New York."

"Of course I will. It's the greatest city on the planet. Nothing ever closes. The food is prime and the people…so many people, and now I am to be exiled to a place where literally everyone will know your name. One big ass Cheers bar."

"Are we still in Colorado?"

"No. We're in Nebraska. We are headed to Dix, Nebraska."

He couldn't suppress the urge to laugh.

"Dix." He repeated.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, "You're such a child."

"Awe come on, I'm sure you wouldn't mind a few more Dix in your life." He teased.

I looked out the window so he wouldn't see the smile I was fighting. He kept making up different puns the rest of the hour toward our destination. I tried to cover Maisey's ears with my arm, hoping she wouldn't hear him.

We finally pulled off of the road and travelled down the dirt path to a shadow far off in the distance. The shadow became bigger the closer we got and, with the full moon, I was able to finally make out the details of our new home. It was a quaint two-story old wooden house with a broad porch. I could see trees surround the property and then nothing for miles around. Edward pulled right up in front of the house and we both exited the car.

"Let me take her. I don't even know how you're standing on your feet." Edward said, taking Maisey for me.

"What about you? I've at least got a couple of cat naps. You haven't slept a wink."

"I'm used to it. All part of the job description." He pulled out a key and jogged up the porch to the front door.

"So does the FBI have many houses like this just sitting around?"

"No, they try to move residents often so that it doesn't become known. I'm sure after this whole ordeal is over, this house will be decommissioned and go on the market."

He turned on lights entering, and I could see the whole house laid out in this beautiful wood. Wood floors. Wooden walls. It was actually kind of cute and rustic.

"There's two rooms upstairs and a shared bathroom, and I will take the bedroom downstairs. Tomorrow we will go to the market and then we have to find a clothing shop of some kind." He continued on up the stairs to the smallest room and I watched as he set Maisey down on the twin bed.

"I'll let you two get some sleep."

He started to walk out and I don't know what compelled me but I stopped him, "I'm really sorry for being…stubborn before and somewhat argumentative. Thank you…for this."

He looked into my eyes for a moment and sighed, "One hell of a first date. I don't think you'll ever be able to top this one."

I laughed shortly, "I think now would be a good time to retire the Bella Special. Definitely no way to top this."

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

He finally left and I walked over to the small little room that was to be mine. A twin sized bed with a blue quilt rested under a window and tiny closet was all I had. I had no nightgown to change into so I took my shoes off and placed them under the bed and then laid down, staring up out the window at the star filled sky.

It didn't take me long to find sleep and I was thankful that I was at the very least blessed with a nightmareless sleep. It wasn't the sun that awoke me the next morning, but my bladder. I felt groggy and out of sorts as I pushed my lifeless body up and out to search out the bathroom.

I sat on the toilet wondering why it seemed so quiet. I was used to hearing busses and car horns, but out here the silence was deafening. Since Maisey had slept quite a bit last night, I found it odd that she hadn't awaken me. I quickly finished my business and set off towards her room but she wasn't there. I started to feel a panic rising so I rushed down the old wooden stairs and shouted out for her but there was no reply.

I looked around through the small house and called for Edward and nothing so I flew out the front door now feeling my panic full on.

"Maisey!" I shouted. My feet came to a halt when I saw that the truck was missing.

"Oh god." I trembled, "Oh god."

I ran out and down the path that we had come up just hours before.

"Edward!"

"Maisey!"

I collapsed to the hot dirt ground in a fit of tears and couldn't hold back my panic attack.

My baby was missing and there was only one explanation. We had been found and she was gone.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you taking the time to read and review! I am going on vacay next week so I am not sure when I will be able to post the next chapter. Hopefully I can get some wifi and get the chapter to you all soon.

Thanks to my wonderful beta, **Robstenvampgirl **for taking the time to help me out with all my stories.

Character credit to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

I sat on the porch steps, staring out over the barren land before me, unable to do more than just stare. I must have sat there for over an hour, but time didn't seem important anymore. I didn't have any plan in place and no way of contacting anyone. Was Edward taken too? How come they didn't take me? There had to be some reason they wouldn't have killed me, right?

How did I sleep through something like this? I could feel my breaths become short once more, and I'm not even sure how it was possible but more tears came. I closed my eyes, pictured Maisey's face and once again, I sent myself into another attack.

I was so focused on my attack that it took a moment for me to realize a sound. I snapped my eyes open and, off in the distance, I could see someone traveling down the road.

"Edward." I whispered.

With a shaky grasp, I pulled myself off the stair and waited as the object became closer and closer. It was like a mirage when I saw the old rust bucket truck coming toward me. Without thinking, I started to run to go and meet it, and then I could see Maisey sitting in the front seat with Edward. I had a tiny moment of relief and thankfulness only to be drowned out in an instance by fury.

Edward pulled to a stop and I wretched open the door.

"Bella…"

"Mommy, we…"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!" I screamed, pulling my child out of the car.

"Bad word." Maisey whispered.

"Do you have any idea what I thought? Where…how…this is by far the worst thing you could do to me."

"Bella…I'm sorry. You were sound asleep. I just wanted to get some…"

"Stay away from us, Edward Cullen." I snapped.

I held on to Maisey tightly and stormed back toward the house.

"Mommy…what's wrong, mommy?" Maisey started to cry. "Are you mad at me?"

I didn't answer her because I was still crying and trying to calm myself down. I knew that I needed to put on a brave face for Maisey, but I couldn't even grasp that concept. I climbed the stairs up to my room and sat down on the bed with her. I could no longer contain myself and I broke down into sobs.

With everything that had changed my world in such a short time, I wasn't strong enough to contain it any longer and my child had to witness my weakness. It hadn't registered that I was lying down again until my eyes could focus on Maisey's face as she lied next to me. She didn't say a word, but her little hand petted my arm up and down.

"Bella."

I scowled, hearing my name roll off his lips.

"Maisey, why don't you go and play with your new toy. I need to talk to your mother."

I wanted to say something right then. He had no right to tell my child what to do, but I wanted Maisey to leave because she shouldn't be here for what I wanted to say to him.

Maisey rolled off the bed and looked back at me once more before leaving out the door. I pushed myself off the bed while Edward shut the door behind him.

"I want you out of here. Call Special Agent Black and request a transfer." I spit.

"No." He stated firmly.

"I want you out of here. I want you out of here." I yelled, "Do you think I am going to place our lives into the hands of somebody I don't trust? I will never trust you. If you don't call Agent Black then we are leaving!"

"I fucked up, Bella. I know that now. I never should have taken Maisey without informing you, but you are not leaving here and I am not transferring anywhere. So go ahead and freak the fuck out on me but, when your tantrum is done and over, nothing will change."

"You can't hold us hostage." I snapped.

"Oh yes I will." He spit, "I will do whatever necessary until you come to your senses. If I have to shackle your stubborn ass to the radiator, I will do it. You have hardly slept and you are obviously not thinking clearly. You have been through a traumatic experience and I will do whatever it takes to make you and Maisey feel safe, but my first duty is to actually make you both safe so I will do whatever is essential to fulfill that."

The sun had finally risen and, in that desolate wasteland, I could feel the heat rising to the top of the house. The temperature inside my room felt suffocating. I could feel beads of sweat roll down my back as the hot sun shined through my window.

I was never one prone to physical violence but, right now, I wanted to jump on top of this man and let my fists figure out their own path. But the anger was quickly dissipating and transforming into an overwhelming helpless feeling. I was stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a man I loathed. I had no more home. No friends. Absolutely nothing.

"If we have to walk, we'll walk, but if you don't make that call by sundown…"

"Go back to bed, Bella!" Edward snapped, turning from me and swiftly slamming the door behind him.

For a split second, I stood in shock, as I believed that he had locked me in here. I wretched open my bedroom door and I saw Maisey sitting in her room across from mine.

"Look what Uncle Edward gave me." Maisey said, holding up a toy pony.

I wiped my face clean from my tears and tried to give her my best smile.

"That's…nice, baby."

I turned back toward my room and, once again, went to lie down. I was absolutely drained and I couldn't even force myself to get back up and put on the show for Maisey. In every bad situation since Maisey was born, I was always good at putting on a show for her. I could pretend that everything was right in her world when everything was crashing and burning in mine. Even when James died, I was still able to keep up the show.

I fell back asleep once more and the next time that I awoke, the sun was setting. I looked over to my bedside table and saw a bottle of water sitting upon it. I hadn't eaten since our disaster date and I hadn't had anything to drink since the wine on the plane. I opened the bottle and refreshed my parched throat. I sat up in bed, looked over at Maisey's room, and saw she wasn't there.

I could hear the bugs and birds chirping outside my window which caused me to look out. I blanched for a second when I saw Edward throwing a Frisbee with Maisey. It angered me at first but, when I saw the smile on her face, I couldn't be upset. She was happy, like nothing had changed, like everything that had happened was perfectly normal. Edward had put on the show. But it also made me incredibly sad as I knew she had found something that she hadn't even known was missing.

There were never a lot of male figures in her life before. I could tell that she wanted a daddy when she would ask me questions about her friends' daddies. I had always explained that some people have a daddy and some don't. I would tell her that my daddy passed away so that's why I no longer had a daddy. I never wanted her to feel like she was missing out on something but, after watching her with Edward, it was clear that she had.

I stumbled down the stairs, still in the same clothes I had been wearing since we left New York. It hadn't been even twenty-four hours yet, but it felt like an eternity. I walked into the kitchen and saw the remains of what looked like breakfast sitting in the sink.

I walked over to the stove and saw a pot simmering. I lifted the top and cringed looking at the contents. I wasn't sure what exactly it was, but it didn't look organic.

"You're awake."

The screen door slammed, alerting me of Edward's presence.

"You hungry?"

I looked over to him and rubbed my arm, not answering.

"Still waking up, I see." He presumed, "Well, I just got basics when we went into town earlier. Scottsbluff's the nearest city and it's an hour away, if you could stand it, maybe we could go over and pick up some clothes tomorrow. For now, I just grabbed you what I could find at the local shop. Not much, but at least it's clean." He nodded his head toward the chair in the corner with a bag resting in it.

"I'm making chili. I figured, when in Rome."

"We don't really eat that kind of stuff. I try to keep us on a healthy meal plan." I replied.

"I figured as much, but I think you'll find it's a little hard out in this part of the world to maintain a health nut meal plan. Besides, this is my special chili. It has protein and spices and…I'm sure you could even find a veggie or two floating around in there."

I was about to rebuttal when Maisey came charging through the door, wearing a different outfit.

"What are you wearing?"

"Before you go all mama bear on me, I just thought she needed something other than pajamas." Edward started to defend.

"It's a little big on her." I commented.

"I didn't know her size and the tag in her pajamas had already worn off. We did the best we could, isn't that right, Moo Moo?"

"Yes, Uncle Edward." She giggled.

"Moo Moo?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like a little cow…Maisey, cow, Moo Moo."

"I don't want you calling her that. She's not a cow." I defended.

"I like the name, mommy." Maisey pouted.

"Yeah, she likes the name, mommy." Edward repeated pointedly.

"Ugh." I groaned, giving up for now.

"Did you see the dress I picked out for you, mommy?" Maisey excitedly ran over to the bag and lifted a denim dress out.

"Yee haw." I cringed.

"I think you'd look purdy in that there dress." Edward said with his best twang.

"What about you? Where's your cowboy hat and boots?" I replied.

"They were all out. I guess there's some fancy rodeo coming to town next week and the locals damn near dried the place up."

"Bad word." Maisey informed.

"What happens when we say bad words?" I asked her.

"Time out." She recited.

"Wasn't it mommy who said a particularly nasty word earlier?" Edward taunted.

"Yeah, and I believe I've served my time." I snapped. I walked over to Edward and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out to the porch. "You heard the little lady, time out for you."

"You have got to lighten up. My god, what the hell happened to you to make you so frigid?"

"You did!" I retorted, turning to walk back into the house.

"Is that why Maisey's father left? You just sucked the fun out of him until there was nothing left?"

I instantly froze and then slowly turned back around. I walked over to him slowly and looked him straight in eye, "Before another idiotic word tumbles out of your mouth, I want you to think really hard back three years ago at Kingston University. My husband's name was James Daniels. I'm sure even a fancy FBI guy like yourself could put two and two together."

I watched as the blood drained out of Edward's face.

"Jesus, Bella…I…I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault. A psycho gets upset over a failing grade and decides to take it out on the faculty and students, and I end up a single parent stuck out in the middle of nowhere with you. Call me what you want, but you don't get to talk about my husband."

I walked back into the house and rummaged through the refrigerator, hoping to find something nutritious. Unfortunately, since Edward didn't have clue one of raising a healthy child, I wasn't met with much.

"Look who's back." Edward announced walking back in a minute later.

"That was fast." Maisey reproached him.

"Oh, trust me kid, with all I've had to put up with, consider it time served." He looked at me suggestively.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the refrigerator.

"You're not going to find anything in there. I wasn't able to get much since I was trying to hurry home before you woke up."

"So you admit, you were doing something wrong. You thought that if you had returned back before I woke up then I would be none the wiser and it would be okay to just abduct my child without my permission."

"I'm not getting into another fight with you." Edward walked over and shut the refrigerator on me, "Why don't you go upstairs and have a bath or shower. Trust me, you'll feel like a new woman and then maybe you won't be so pis…uh, mad."

I looked over at the pot on the stove and winced.

"You're not getting out of trying the chili. I'm sure your body won't break down on you after one bowl. Like I said, tomorrow we will go into town and you can fill the cupboards up with whatever hay you plan on eating. Go shower. You stink! Change and then come back down and have something to eat. You must be starving."

I sighed and turned toward the stairs. I snatched up the bag with the denim dress in it and made my way back up the stairs to the bathroom. I knew that a shower was a wonderful idea but I wasn't about to tell him that. Plus, it made me a little embarrassed when he commented on my smell. I sniffed myself to check if he was speaking truth and shuddered. He was right. I did smell.

"You ready to help me make the cheese bread, Moo Moo?" I heard him say.

"Yes, Uncle Edward."

Part of me hated that my daughter was already becoming attached to this…this…man. Of all the male role models for her to have, he was surely not the best. I could tell by the way she looked at him, how he held her favor. How was I ever going to be okay with her liking someone who I despised?

I slowly undressed and prepared the water to an appropriate heat. The temperatures were cooling in the house but still warm, and I opened the window in my room and bathroom, hoping to help circulate any breeze the house could find.

I let out a surprising groan the second I stepped in. I felt the tension in my body slowly release from my bones and joints. I didn't even have shampoo or soap, but I could let the water wash me for an eternity. I breathed in the vapors and, for the first time in days, I felt lighter, calmer, and able to reason.

When I finally got out of the shower, the denim dress didn't even look so bad. However, when I put it on, I was quickly reminded of my first sentiments. I still had no underwear since I refused to wear what I had been wearing. I hated going without undergarments. I felt completely naked, but I would have to make do until we could get to a store.

I walked back down the stairs, and Edward looked up from placing the pot on the table and faltered.

"I know, I look stupid." I huffed, folding my arms over my chest self-consciously.

"Uh…no. I…you look amazing." He stuttered.

I gave him a look, "Yeah right. Go ahead and get on with all your hee-haw comments."

"Bella." He smiled, "This is the first time I am actually seeing you in real clothes. Not some cat sweater or some baggy sweatshirt that Mike picked out, and you look good all cleaned up."

"Real clothes?" I asked sarcastically, "I look like I'm starring in a western film. This outfit alone could scare off Bella Special patrons."

"Well, you definitely wouldn't have scared me off if you had worn that."

"Ew! Don't look at me like that. It's creepy and you and I…will never happen."

"Oh, my dearest sister, as much as I'm sure you would love a piece of this, I don't do incest."

I looked around quickly, as it just occurred to me that we were having this conversation so boldly without thinking of Maisey.

"Where's Maisey?"

"Would you stop worrying? She's outside playing."

I walked over to the screen door, looked out on her, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her running around tossing the Frisbee all by herself.

"Do you really think it's safe for her to be out there by herself? I thought we were supposed to keep a low profile."

"Bella, there is nothing around here for miles. If someone were coming up the path, we would hear it. Also, keeping a low profile doesn't mean staying locked up in the house. In fact, that's worse and soon the town will be talking about the recluses who just moved in and that would raise suspicion. We should go out and meet the people, become part of their community so that we blend in."

I sighed and sat down at the table.

"I don't know if I can do this. I don't know the first thing about having to lie for an extended period of time. I already feel horrible for lying to Maisey. When she finds out that you're not her uncle, it will crush her."

Edward sat down beside me.

"She won't find out…for a really long time. The best thing you can do for her is to let her have fun. You saw how upset she was on the plane but, since then, she's been happy. She'll adjust and I have faith that, in the end, everything will be okay but you have got to relax."

"How can I relax knowing there are people out there who want me dead? Who would hurt her without even thinking twice? I'm in a strange land and have no way of even getting my feet on the ground properly."

"You play a role. You are no longer Isabella Swan from New York City. You are Isabella Kerns from Chicago. I am your brother, Edward Kerns, and that's my niece, Maisey Kerns. We moved here after our parents died because we needed to take a break from big city life."

"And Maisey?"

"Knocked up, way too young by one of your many prospects, which one, you just can't remember."

I smacked him in the arm.

"Fine. High school sweethearts that didn't last because the father didn't want to take responsibility. Good enough?

"Whatever." I dismissed.

"Good."

"Kerns. Isabella Kerns." I tried out the new name. "Hi, I'm Isabella Kerns."

"Nice to meet you, Isabella Kerns. I'm Edward Kerns, your older and yet strikingly handsome brother." He teased and, for the first time, I was able to smile at his silliness.

"How in the world am I going to explain to Maisey that she is no longer Maisey Daniels? She's not going to understand. I don't even know if I will be able to keep up with the lies, how can I expect her to?"

"We'll give her a scenario that makes sense to her."

The screen door opened and both Edward and I jumped a little at Maisey's interruption.

"I'm starving. Are we ever going to eat?" She whined.

"Go and wash up." I told her, "We are ready to eat."

She scrambled off to the downstairs bathroom. I wasn't able to look around much yet at this house. We arrived so late last night and then, with all the happenings of today, I still hadn't had a chance to explore. I stood up from my chair and walked toward the room behind the kitchen, and there was a sitting room with a fireplace but no television. I didn't really need the television but I knew Maisey may miss some of her cartoons.

Even though my feet were bare, they made noise every step I took upon those old wooden floors. The furniture looked old and worn, which suited the house just fine. I walked toward the downstairs bathroom and saw the door leading to the room Edward must be staying in.

"Uncle Edward says you're not allowed to go in there." Maisey stopped me from continuing further.

"That's right, Moo Moo. That's my private room and you aren't old enough to go in there, but your mother is always welcomed…since she's an adult."

I snapped my eyes in his direction and gave him a menacing stare for even suggesting.

"Why is Maisey not allowed?" I raised an eyebrow, "Trying to keep the room child free for your explorations?"

Edward came closer, "Because, there are things in there that are locked up, but I still don't think she should be near."

I pulled back as it finally occurred to me that he meant his guns. I shivered at the thought. I never wanted to have my child around guns. Never wanted them anywhere near where we lived.

"I will keep them locked up but, in our situation, they're necessary, Bella." He added, seeing my panic.

I shook my head and started back to the table where Maisey was already sitting and waiting.

"All right, let's get this amazing meal done and over." Edward smacked his hands together, excited for his chili.

He started scooping it out of the pot, into bowls, and passing it around.

"You need to blow on that before you put it in your mouth. You don't want to burn your tongue." Edward told Maisey, and I was actually surprised that he would think of such a thing. He looked over at me and gave me a knowing look. He had done it for my benefit since I was the worrier.

"I made the bread." Maisey told me.

"You did! Well, it's about the only thing appetizing on this table." I replied.

"Now, now. I'm sure mommy has a rule that you have to eat everything on your plate, right, Moo Moo?"

"Right, Uncle Edward."

"Here you go, mommy. I made sure to scoop you something extra meaty." Edward handed me the bowl filled to the brim with the chili and my stomach turned.

I set the bowl down and stared at it, wondering what this was going to do to my insides, but I hadn't eaten since the date and even then it wasn't much, so I bravely picked up my spoon and forged on. I placed a scoop full into my mouth and swallowed instantly, not wanting it to linger between my teeth. At first, all I could taste was the heat coming from off the meat, but then as it started to settle. I couldn't deny that man, that chili was good.

I slowly, to not alert the smug bastard sitting next to me, took another spoonful.

"Told you that you would like it."

"It's…not bad for something that will probably take ten years off my life." I replied.

"But what a way to go." He grinned, "How about you, your mother loves the chili, what do you think, Moo Moo?"

"I like it! It's really yummy." She said with a big slurp.

"Well, it's only yummy because I had my special ingredient." He winked at her and she giggled.

"What's the special ingredient?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"Mommy, it's a secret."

"She's right. A big secret, and you have been so great at keeping secrets, I wonder if you can keep the biggest secret ever made." Edward stated dramatically.

"Edward." I cautioned. I knew what he was getting at, but I was afraid for this moment.

"I can keep it." Maisey stated, almost offended that I would try to stop him.

"Of course you can." Edward turned to me, "We need to start somewhere."

I exhaled and nodded, feeling even worse about myself.

"Maisey, this is really important. Because you're living with me now, your name will no longer be Maisey Daniels. If anyone asks you what your name is, you tell them Maisey Kerns. Kerns is my last name and I want you to have it too."

She furrowed her tiny forehead and then, two seconds later, dived right back into her chili.

"Do you have…any questions?" Edward asked perplexed.

"Uh…" She thought for a moment, "Nope."

"Okay…well…great!" Edward relaxed and dived right back into his chili, but I knew better.

"Are you sure? This is a very big thing Edward's asking of you." I tried.

She thought for a moment longer and then started again, "What's your name going to be?"

"Kerns…just like yours." I replied. "Also, if anyone asks you where you are from or anything like that, you just tell them, I don't know, ask my mommy."

"Chicago." Edward said through his teeth.

"That's too much. She's not even six years old."

"I'm almost six years old. Only…what day is this?" For the first time, she looked genuinely upset.

"September fifth."

Maisey thought for a moment and then beamed. "Only fifty more days. Oh my goodness, that's forever and ever."

"It will go like this." Edward snapped his fingers.

"Anyways, as we were saying…" I started once more back to the topic.

"Yes, as we were saying...Maisey, where do you live?"

"In an apartment."

"No. You live here with your Uncle Edward and your mommy, right?"

"Yes…I guess."

I looked over at Edward. I knew this wasn't going to be so easy.

"Maisey, what city did you used to live in?" Edward tried again.

"New York!" She cheered.

"See." Edward stated pointedly.

I sighed, frustrated that he was right. I just didn't want her having to remember all these lies. She shouldn't worry about these things. It should be something that I had to worry about.

"How about from now on, we play a game? If someone asks you where did you used to live, instead of saying New York, you say Chicago. If you get it right, you get a candy."

"Great, now she's going to be a diabetic." I commented.

"Stop the negativity." Edward replied. "So Maisey, where did you used to live?"

"CHICAGO!" She cheered.

"You are amazing. Perfect on your first try out, but I'm going to be testing you so you better stay on your toes, Moo Moo."

"I gots this." She winked and we both laughed.

I started to relax a little back into my chair and Edward looked over to me.

"See, what did I tell you? We are just one big happy family."

I sighed and looked around at the old house that we now called home. How foreign this life was to me. How foreign it was to have someone there to help with everything. I wouldn't say that I trusted Edward Cullen…Kerns but, in some respect, he did manage to make life a little easier. Of course in some areas, life was easier and then in others, he had a gift of aggravation. I had no idea just how we were going to survive the next however many days here. One big happy family? Not even close.

* * *

**AN: **Not sure when i will be able to update. I will be out of town for the next few days and I hope to write while I'm away but can't promise anything. Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing!

Quick note: The Lottery of Life was just nominated for an award. If you read the fic and liked it, please go and vote for the story over at Twifanfictionrecs dot com. I'd really appreciated it. You can vote from now until the end of the month, as many times as you wish.

Thank you again to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl. **She worked her booty off so i could get this to you before I left. Thank you, girl!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

We bumped along the dirt road toward the main highway. Maisey still dressed in the ill-fitting outfit that Edward had bought for her and me in my hoe down dress. I couldn't wait to find something more sophisticated.

"So, I thought we should go to the city first to buy clothes and then back here for groceries. The store is small in town, but the sooner we become integrated the better." Edward explained.

"That's fine." I sighed and stared back out the window.

Edward took another minute before speaking once again.

"Also, I was thinking we could host a huge house party as a way to welcome ourselves to the neighborhood."

"That's fine."

"We could ask JayZ to come and DJ for us to show all the stick people how we do it out in NYC."

"That's fine." I replied.

"That's fine." He repeated.

"That's fine." He repeated once more.

I shook my head and finally looked over to him, "What?"

"You haven't listened to a word I said. Are you upset with me?"

I furrowed my brow, "Why would you think that?"

"You usually are."

I furrowed my brow thinking about it, "No. I'm not upset…I don't think I am."

"Well, it is Monday…and I know how much you love being upset with me on any day that ends in "Y.""

"But I am partial to months that end in "L."" I retorted.

"Great, so come April, you'll finally give me a pass?"

"Maybe."

"No. No. You just said it, and it would be a horrible lesson for Moo Moo if you went back on your word."

"Maisey!"

"What?" Maisey looked up from her doodle book.

"It's her name." I clarified once more for Edward.

"Moo Moo. What would you like to be called?" Edward asked.

Maisey thought for a minute. She scrunched up her little face with a look of concentration and finally exhaled.

"Well, you can call me Moo Moo and mommy can call me Maisey."

My daughter the diplomat.

"You don't want mommy calling you Moo Moo?" Edward asked.

"No." She paused. "I don't think she could pull it off."

Even I couldn't help but laugh. We calmed down after a few seconds and I sighed, looking back out the window.

"Bella, it's just that you hardly spoke last night at dinner and then this morning, whenever I said anything , your only response was, "Fine." So…a guy has to wonder if you really are "fine" or are you just saying that you're fine and you are so not fine. I know how you girls love to play these games."

"I'm not playing any games. I…am…still overwhelmed and I am just trying to process things. I actually like to think before I speak. Something you…boys don't seem to have mastered yet."

"Never mind. Sorry I asked. Last thing I want to do is unleash the beast. Go back to staring silently and being "fine."" He huffed and turned his full attention back onto the road.

"Perhaps, Moo Moo is a better conversationalist. Isn't that right, Moo Moo?" Edward looked down to her.

"Yep!" She agreed quickly.

"Do you know what a conversationalist is?" He asked.

"Nope."

"See. Two words and already loads better than your mommy. At least you're not combative." He replied.

"What's com…bat…" Maisey struggled with the word.

"It means someone who likes to argue." He explained.

Maisey looked up at me and I tried to not let it show how annoyed I was but, unfortunately, she must have caught on.

"You mean grumpy?" Maisey asked.

Edward's laughter filled the car and his fit sent Maisey off into a fit of her own.

"Okay, ha ha. It's not that funny." I tried.

"Your daughter just called you grumpy."

"Yeah, I heard."

"You're practically a dwarf. Maisey called you a dwarf and, not just any dwarf, the grumpy dwarf." He teased.

"God, you're like a child." I snapped.

"Uh oh, is someone being grumpy?"

"No. Someone's just not speaking to you."

"Now who's acting like a child?"

I huffed and went back to staring out my window. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward grinning from ear to ear. Shortly after, he engaged Maisey in a rousing game of "I Spy." However, being out in the middle of nowhere, there was little to spy.

We finally made it to our destination but, since we had no cellphone or GPS, it was hard to tell just what this "city" had to offer. So far it was definitely more metropolitan then Dix, but it was still hardly anything to write home about, if we were even allowed to write home.

"There." Edward pointed. "The Bargain Bin."

"Bargain Bin?" I cringed looking at the building. "I…I…can't wait."

"I'm sure it's not…so bad." Edward sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"There has to be something around here that doesn't look like the insides of a taxidermy cat."

Edward looked around the dismal street and then promptly got out of the car.

"Hey buddy!" We heard him shout, "Do you know where I could get some clothes around here?"

"What's Uncle Edward doing?" Maisey looked up to me.

"He's asking for directions. It's a first for all mankind, a man who stops and asks for directions." I marveled.

"Does he know that man?" Maisey asked.

"No. No baby, he doesn't."

"I thought you shouldn't talk to strangers."

Edward started to climb back into the car just as I was answering.

"You shouldn't talk to strangers but Edward's an adult and, if the stranger turned out to be a bad person, he…might be able to protect himself."

"Might? Are you questioning my skills?" Edward stated, offended.

"I don't know anything of your skills." I replied.

"I was top in my class. I killed at the Academy, and as far as any other skills you might be wondering about, I have excellent recommendations if you need them." He stated suggestively.

I gave him a disgusted look and then pointed back to the road, "Just drive."

He shrugged, happy with himself, and then backed out of the parking space at the Bargain Bin.

"We are in luck. Apparently this little town has a Super Walmart."

"You know, the past few days I have been wondering when we would catch a break and, yet, God has provided once again. A Super Walmart, how did we get so lucky?" I countered sarcastically.

"One more lippy word out of you, missy, and I will turn this car around and you will spend the rest of your day at the bottom of the Bargain Bin."

"Have you looked around, Edward? We are at the bottom of the bargain bin."

Edward smirked and drove on. Like a miracle from God, Edward had managed to find the Walmart. Not exactly my first choice in fashion, but when your second choice is a place that has a name with the words bargain and bin in them, you tend to settle quickly.

We got out of the car and I took Maisey's hand. "Uh…Edward. How exactly are we going to pay for this?"

"Don't worry about it." He replied, taking Maisey's other hand.

"It's just that…I don't have any credit cards with me. I left with no cash on hand…I have checks…I think I have checks." I started to dig around in my purse, but Edward put out a hand to stop me.

"You don't have checks anymore. You don't anything in there with your name upon it. You are not Isabella Swan any longer, remember?" He said, surveying the people around us. "You are Isabella Kerns, and Isabella Kerns and her brother Edward were lucky enough to have a dead relative who hated banks and loved leaving money in duffel bags, which we now keep in a safe and secure place. Buy whatever you like, I have plenty with me."

I started to calm from my little freak out and I nodded with understanding.

"Okay."

"Okay." Edward nodded. "Let's go shopping."

He pulled out two carts since we knew there was plenty to buy. We started off in toiletries and worked our way around the superstore. It felt weird to have to buy everything all over again. We practically had to go up and down every single aisle just to make sure that we didn't forget something trivial but important too.

By the time we made it over to the kids section to buy Maisey a whole new wardrobe, our carts were full to the brim and Edward and I hadn't even found a stitch of clothing for ourselves yet. I worked fast on the everyday essentials, while Edward took Maisey around to find outfits that she liked. This time, however, he had her correct size. I had just finished picking out princess undies and children's medicine when I walked over to the carts. I skidded to a halt to find the top of Edward's cart in a huge mound.

"Uh…just how many children are planning on living with us?" I questioned.

"She needs clothes…school clothes, home clothes, weekend clothes." He scratched his head, looking at the cart.

"Okay…and all the other orphans, Daddy Warbucks, how ever will they fare?" I mocked.

"Too much?" He asked.

"Unless one of your many conquests plans on showing up with a bundle of surprise, I think too much may be an understatement."

"Bundle of surprise. There are no surprises with me. I wrap my shit and make sure, every time, there are no breaks." He stated confidently.

"We are in a children's section. Could you keep your crudeness level at a minimum?" I scolded.

"No one heard me. You just don't like hearing me talk like this because it makes certain areas on your body all tingly."

"Yeah, like my gag reflexes." I pulled the rest of the clothes out of his hands and pushed him toward the men's section, "Now, go before I throw up on you."

"Okay. But just FYI…for you…I'd go bareback."

"NOW!" I hissed.

I looked around as he left, hoping no one was in ear shot of our…debate. What the heck did he mean? Bareback? I shook my head, trying to dissuade any images from popping into my head but, unfortunately, one got through. For a split second, I imagined what Edward looked like bare. I gasped and put the clothes down quickly, hoping that my sweaty palms wouldn't mess them. I exhaled and tried to calm myself.

"Mommy. I'm done."

I practically jumped three feet as I turned to see Maisey standing with a few more outfits in her hands.

"You're all red." She observed.

"It's…hot in here. I just need a drink of water." I lied.

I looked back at the pile of clothes to avoid my daughter's questioning eyes and sighed.

"Okay, we are not getting all of this, so I need you to start picking through and tell me your favorite ten outfits."

"But Uncle Edward said I could have anything I wanted."

"Well, you can't. You don't need this many clothes, and Uncle Edward doesn't know the first thing about what you need, so start picking."

She pouted and started slowly walking toward the cart. With great annoyance, she slowly began pulling out different things she wanted to keep. It was taking her quite a while to decide between this pink shirt and that pink shirt. I pulled a swimsuit from the stack and appraised it. Edward walked over with a stack in his arms.

"You're already done?" I asked.

"Of course. Not hard. Shirt in every color. Couple pairs of jeans. Socks. Boxers. Done!" he smiled triumphantly.

"Did you even try anything on?" I asked.

"No, mom." He replied sarcastically. "I know my size. I'm good."

I rolled my eyes and proceeded to place the swimsuit back down on the rack.

"You're nixing the swimsuit?" Edward questioned.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because…we're out in the middle of nowhere. We don't have a pool and, even if we did, Maisey doesn't know how to swim."

"Well, I could teach her." Edward countered.

"In the dirt pit outback?"

"No…I'm sure someone has a pool around us."

"Great, you're already imposing on neighbors we don't even know yet." I turned back to the cart.

"Get the damn swimsuit." He picked up the swimsuit I had just put back and shoved it at me.

"We don't need it."

"But she wants it. It's cute. It has happy little penguins in sunglasses on it." He argued.

"She doesn't get everything she wants in life. It's a good lesson to learn at her age." I fought back.

"Maybe it's a lesson you learned too well."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"I don't know, Bella. You're a smart girl, why don't you tell me." He snapped back.

"Stop fighting!" Maisey yelled. "You're always fighting. I don't want anything. You can take it all back."

She threw the pile she had made on the floor and stormed off toward the accessories. I could tell by the look of her little shoulders that she was crying even though she was facing away from me.

I sighed and gave Edward the eye.

"I'll fix it." Edward halted me.

"It's not your job. She's not your child. I'll fix it." I snapped.

"God dammit, Bella! For once, just let me do something. You still haven't even picked out your clothes. I will get her and I will make this better. GO!"

I looked over at my daughter's tiny form and fought with myself on what I should do.

"You and I have to figure out a way to coexist. If not for our own sanity, then for hers. Please let me fix this." Edward implored.

"Fine." I sighed. I looked over at her one last time and then headed towards the women's section.

I walked aimlessly through the rows, looking at all the clothes, but not really seeing anything I would wear. I couldn't stop thinking of Maisey's tear-stained face as she yelled at Edward and I. I hated myself. I was allowing this situation to eat me alive, and my daughter was going to pay the price. I couldn't allow this to happen. Edward was right. We needed to figure out a way to coexist. Even if we didn't like each other, we should, at the very least, respect one another.

I randomly selected clothes off the rack and found my size. Since I was out here living in the dirt, I would need to dress differently than the way I dressed in New York. I found a dressing room when my arms were full and started trying the clothes on. Each one looked worse than the last. They gave my body little shape and looked generic, but they would have to do. It was still loads better than the denim dress I was currently wearing.

I went and grabbed some undergarments and socks and headed back toward the girl's section. I looked around and couldn't see any sign of Edward or Maisey. Part of me panicked for a second, but it quickly faded. I knew Edward wasn't stupid enough to leave the building without me. I walked around and finally found them in the toy section. Maisey was surrounded by dolls as she went up and down the aisle appraising each one.

"You can have only one. Your mother doesn't want you spoiled." Edward said loudly, which told me that he knew I was approaching.

I tossed my items in the cart on top of Maisey's clothes and noticed the swimsuit still there. I gave him a look.

"Hey, I negotiated that sad, tear soaked face over there back into the beaming sunshine she always is. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like…like agreeing to buy her a cute little swimsuit that has penguins in sunglasses upon it."

"Such a waste of money." I shook my head.

"Why don't you get a swimsuit too? Then we can all be a happy family of swimmers."

"I don't swim."

"You don't swim. You don't eat unhealthy foods. You don't have fun. My god, it really is going to be up to me to show you how great your life can be."

"Can we go now?" I dismissed his last comment.

"Moo Moo, did you find the right Barbie?" He called out.

"It's between these two." She replied holding up two different Barbies each dressed in some fancy formal.

"Only one. You don't want to give mommy a coronary." Edward mocked.

He turned back to me and smiled, "Look at that face. Beams like sunshine."

"I'm going to start toward the registers." I rolled my eyes and turned toward the second cart to start pushing it.

"Oh my god!" Edward exclaimed, and I immediately snapped my head back toward him to see what was the matter.

"Are you trusting me with the responsibility of your child? Ladies and Gentleman, it is a first." He announced, "You are allowing your child to be more than a hundred feet away from you and in the arms of… moi? I don't know what we will ever do without you. Make a list, Moo Moo, we're starting with tattoos."

I turned and kept walking, ignoring his continuous rant which didn't let up. I managed to make it to the register, but the line was rather long. By the time Edward had joined up, I was closing in on the conveyor belt.

"Are you sure we didn't forget anything?" I asked, looking once more through the carts. I had checked everything in my cart first, but was now headed toward Edwards. I started to lift up the floral gowned Barbie when Edward stopped me.

"Yes, it's all here, and I know that this is going to sound completely ridiculous, but if we have forgotten anything, they will allow us to come back. Weird, huh?"

"I just don't want to have to come back when it's already such a long drive. We're already here. I should have made a check list." I put my hand back into his cart and his hand reached out to take mine.

"Why don't you go over to that McDonald's and fulfill your end of the agreement? I was to get the swimsuit and Barbie, and you are to treat her to a vanilla ice cream cone. Isn't that right, Moo Moo?"

"That is what you said." Maisey replied.

"She is a hard bargainer. Must get that from you."

"Ice cream too?" I questioned.

"Don't do the time if you didn't do the crime." Maisey shook her finger at me. Edward leaned down and whispered something in her ear.

"I mean…don't do the crime, if you can't do the time." She corrected. "You were naughty with Uncle Edward. You both threw a fit and it's embarrassing."

I bit my lip, feeling thoroughly mortified that my five-year old had to explain manners to me.

"Ice cream it is." I smiled and took her hand. Edward gave me a twenty and asked for a vanilla cone for himself.

We waited by the McDonalds, licking our ice cream cones until Edward was all done with checkout. Maisey gave me a thrilling dissertation on how she came to the decision on which Barbie she decided to choose. In the end, she figured that since her birthday was coming up, it would only make sense to hold off on Birthday Barbie for that special occasion.

"So…Uncle Edward promised me the Birthday Barbie in the pink dress for my birthday."

"That was very nice of him. It will be a great gift."

I wondered if we would still be here for her birthday. Being only a few weeks away, I assumed we would. Day two of our exciting new life and, overall, it did seem better, but I would have to reserve judgment for later. There were still so many variables that hadn't even been considered. Questions that needed answers, and Edward and I would have to be grownups to sit down and not fight just to get some clarity on our situation. Tonight. Tonight, after Maisey went to bed, I would put my personal feelings aside for this man to search out my answers.

"Where's mine?" Edward asked on approach.

"We ate it!" Maisey laughed.

"I never took you for a heifer. Ha ha get it? Heifer. Moo Moo." He quipped.

Maisey and I stared at him straight faced until Maisey reached behind her back and picked up Edward's ice cream and handed it to him.

"You're weird, Uncle Edward."

"Yes, he is." I quickly agreed. "Let's get going. We still have to shop for food. Apparently we have a whole town of weirdo's ready to meet the Kerns."

We loaded up the truck and were back on our way toward home.

Home.

Damn, it had only been two days and I already was thinking of it as a home. This was not good. However, when I started to think about home it would only lead me to thinking of how much I missed everything. My studio. My friends. The sounds of people walking down the street in their high heels. This was not home. Nothing about this place was home to me.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked cautiously, probably remembering our morning conversations.

"I'm…yes. Everything is okay." I stumbled, making sure I said anything other than the word, "fine."

"Are we ready to go out there and meet some people?" Edward tried sounding optimistic.

"Children of the corn, here we come." I cheered back.

Edward parked the truck in front of the small corner market. I slowly got out of the car and looked around, trying to let it all sink in. There was one street with shops up and down and, somehow, I knew that this was the whole town in one street.

"Do you think our stuff will be safe in the back of the truck, or do you want to stay with it?" I asked.

"Uh…" Edward looked around.

"Of course your stuff will be fine there. This is the safest town in America."

Both Edward and I careened our necks toward the front of the store. There stood a beastly man. If we had been near a mountain range, I imagined this man on it, dressed in flannel with an ax.

"You folks must be the new neighbors that moved into the Paisley House."

Paisley House? There was nothing paisley about it. Both Edward and I looked dumbfounded at one another.

"Where are my manners? Shoot! I'm Emmett McCarty and this is my market. Why don't you come on in, friends."

Cautiously, Edward and I walked toward the beast. I took Maisey's hand and held it tight.

"Uh…you weren't here the other day when I stopped in. Sorry, I'm Edward Kerns and this is my sister Isabella…" Edward started.

"Oh, that was just Ben. He told me all about the newbies rolling into town. I'm so happy that I was here to make your acquaintance. Is there anything I can do for you fine people today?"

Oh god. I really had entered the small town twilight zone.

"Just…shopping." I stated awkwardly.

"Of course. Of course. Come on in. If there is anything you can't find, let me know. If we don't have a certain item, I can put an order in for you." Emmett smiled and stepped out from the door way so we could slide past.

"My wife will be so excited to meet you. It's all anyone's been talking about the past couple of days when we saw your truck outside that Paisley House."

"Um…why do you call it Paisley?" I finally asked.

"Well, because it's on Paisley court, of course."

Oh wow.

I smiled and then picked up a basket to begin our shopping. This store was so small they didn't even have grocery carts. We should have shopped back in Scottsbluff. Somehow, I don't think I'll find the healthiest of options out here.

I saw they did have a section for fresh fruits and vegetables so that's where I began. As I was walking toward the apples, I heard Emmett standing outside his store hollering, "Rosie, you ought to get down here. The new neighbors are here."

"Why do I get the feeling that every person in a five-mile radius just put down their pitchfork to make their way over here?" Edward whispered.

I snorted and added, "The people rose up from the corn fields to greet their newest editions."

A few minutes later a beautiful girl dressed in white short shorts walked in.

"Oh goodness. We are just so excited. Finally, some new blood in this town. I'm Rosie McCarty…Emmett's wife."

She put out her hand to shake, and I had a feeling this shopping trip was going to turn into a rather lengthy one.

"Hi…I'm Bella and this is Maisey." I started to introduce.

"Are you just the cutest thing? I have two just about your age. You look just like your daddy here."

"NO!" I yelled, startling everyone. "Uh…no…she's not his. I mean…he's…her uncle…my brother and, well, if she was his…that would be gross, right? I mean, who gets with their brother and makes babies. Ew!"

I suddenly remembered where I was, and I had heard about incest being popular in certain places toward the middle of the country.

"Uh…I mean…unless…that is the kind of thing that floats your boat. Who am I to judge?"

Edward gave me a look, like he was having trouble comprehending the words coming out of my mouth, which, funny enough, would make two of us. Even Rosie and Emmett looked lost.

Edward started laughing and slapping Emmett on the back.

"Isn't my sister a riot? She has an odd sense of humor, you'll have to forgive her."

Emmett and Rosie began laughing with him.

"You are a funny one, Bella." Rosie added.

"Well…I try." I shook my head and turned back toward my shopping.

"You know what would be great? The ladies were getting together tonight for our book of the month club. You should come. You would love it and it would be a great way for you to meet some of the ladies in town." Rosie offered.

"Oh…I don't know. We still have so much unpacking and…I can't leave Maisey."

"Bella, of course you can leave Maisey with me. I'm her uncle. We'll be fine. You should go with Rosie tonight." Edward stepped up.

"Oh, you have to come. We have a book we tackle every month. We have a glass of wine and the husbands take the kids for the evening." Rosie pushed.

"Well…you just got me. I didn't read the book you'll be discussing so I'd be lost. A complete hindrance. Maybe next month."

I was so not going with this strange corn woman! I would not give in.

"Well, I insist and I will take it quite personally if you decline."

"Yes, Bella. Don't be rude now." Edward added with a look.

"I…can't wait."

Rosie started jumping up and down, clapping her hands. Edward gave me a winning smile, and it looked like I was about to become one with the corn.

* * *

**AN: **Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Unfortunately, due to a recent promotion, I will be unable to update as often as before. I was writing about ten thousand words a week but for now, until things calm down, I will only be able to write about four thousand which means I probably will have to alternate updates with the stories I have. Sorry for this, I know how much we all like timely updates. I hope you will stick it out and continue to read.

Thank you again to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl **for her time and work on this story.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Maisey laid against me the moment we had got back into the truck. She was out like a light before Edward even had a chance to start the car up, which was probably a good thing since I really needed to talk to Edward and didn't want the accusation in my voice to cause Maisey to think we were fighting once more.

"I can't believe you threw me to the wolves."

He sighed and I could see him roll his eyes, but he said nothing.

"I didn't want to go to some silly book club. I don't know these people. They could be ax murders for all we know."

Still, he said nothing. No apology. No solution.

"Hello! Is this thing on?"

Edward looked over to me and then turned to stare back out over the wheel.

"So…you're not talking to me? You…throw me at the first pack of corn people and then refuse to talk to me?"

I couldn't believe this. He couldn't possibly be upset with me. I had done nothing wrong. The truck turned down Paisley, toward our house, and I sat staring straightforward, irritated at him for his lack of communication. We stopped in front of the house and I pulled open my door at the same time as him and, slowly, I sat Maisey up so I could step out. Edward was already around to my side by the time my feet landed on the ground.

"I'm not going." I stated.

Edward, once again, didn't answer. Instead, he pushed me aside and picked Maisey up with such ease.

"Did you hear me? I said I'm not going." I tried once again, but he just ignored me and continued to walk toward the house with my daughter in his arms. He opened the front door and I scrambled after him. When he arrived at Maisey's bed, he gently set her down and pulled off her shoes, placing them on the wooden floor beside her bed. He then pushed me out of her room, amidst my protests, and closed the door behind him.

"What in the world are you doing?" I snapped as he lightly pushed me down the stairs. "Stop it, Edward!"

I protested all the way and his pushing didn't stop until we were back out near the truck.

"All right, now we can fight." Edward finally said.

"Fight?" I asked, "I wasn't trying to fight you."

"Bella, don't give me that bull shit. You always want to turn every little thing into a fight."

"It takes two, you know."

"And honestly, ax murders? Of all the towns in the country for us to end up in, you think we ended up in a town full of ax murders?"

"It could happen."

"I guess you're right, it could happen. Hey, maybe their unionized ax murders and tonight is a meeting to discuss the recent changes in dues fees."

"Maybe." I countered.

"Or maybe you're delusional. You're going to that book club tonight." He ordered.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. I am not your child and I will decide what I do and don't do."

"What did I tell you about being here? We need to blend in. The quicker we do that, the better our chances are for not sending off warning bells and causing it to alert the very people we are hiding from. If that means that you have to go to some boring ass book club or I have to go to a few hoe downs, that is what we are going to do, because our lives depend on it. Secondly, after the Walmart incident today, I think we can both agree that us fighting in front of her isn't healthy for her, so anytime you want to bitch at me then save it until either she is asleep or far from hearing distance. So now that I explained the new rules, you may commence with the bitching."

I stood there staring at him and possibly hating him even more. I hated him for being right. I hated him for being the better parent to my child and thinking about her when I should have. I hated being out here surrounded by this stupid dirt and knowing that if he had just let me leave out the window that night, I wouldn't be here.

I swiftly turned and charged back to the house toward my bedroom. I closed the door behind me and flopped down on my bed. I could hear the screen door downstairs as Edward worked to bring in all of our groceries and purchases. I felt bad about that and I knew I was acting like a brat by not helping him. The only thing that made me somewhat relieved was that my daughter was not awake to not witness her mother's behavior. Never in my life was I tested so abundantly. I'm not sure how much of this I could take before it completely turned me into a different Bella. So far, I already felt like I was a completely different Bella and not one that I liked very much. However, I still had hope that Edward hadn't changed me yet. I could still have the life I once had someday. I could still teach dance and be happy with my life where it was just me and Maisey.

Once more, I found myself crying for a life that even I knew I would never have again. I didn't wipe the tears that rolled down my face to my pillow, because it would be of no use, the trail they had left would just be replenished. I was exhausted, which I found pathetic since I hardly did anything that day. It was a little past three and, according to Rosie, I was to be at the address she had written down at eight pm. I can't believe I am meeting complete strangers to talk about some silly book. Knowing these people, they would want to discuss a chapter out of the Bible or something. Or maybe they were the scandalous type of corn people who read dirty Harlequin Novels and shared deep imitate secrets of their sex lives. I would have nothing to share. James was my first and we had a very vanilla sex life. We made love, there was never anything dirty or raunchy about it. Edward would be a far better choice to go to show and tell. One minute with him and I'm sure all those ladies would have their corn good and husked.

My door opened slowly and I quickly sat up in my bed and wiped the evidence off my face.

"I brought your…were you crying?"

Edward stared at me, appalled.

"What do you care?" I snatched the bags out of his hands and turned to place them on the bed. I started to pull the contents out so I could put my things away, but Edward closed in on me.

"You really don't want to go to this book thing tonight? It upsets you that much?"

"I wasn't crying because of some stupid book thing." I huffed.

"Then…what was it?"

I sighed and tried to turn away from him. I hated crying in front of people, and it was worse because it was Edward. I already knew he thought I was weak, and the last thing I needed was criticism.

"It doesn't matter."

"If…you're upset enough to cry…then yes, it matters. Was it something I said? Are you upset because I used foul language again?"

"It doesn't matter, because there is absolutely nothing you can do to make it better." I pulled the plastic hangers from the Walmart bag and ripped open the cardboard.

"How do you know? I am very talented. If there was something upsetting you, I'm sure I could find a solution."

"What do you think, Edward?" I snapped, "I want to go home. I want to go back to my life when it was just Maisey and I. I want to have freedom again. I want to be surrounded by buildings, great big buildings, and not be surrounded by dirt and…trees. I want my life back. So…can you help? Can you?"

He stood there staring at me with pity in his eyes.

"No." He whispered.

"I thought so." I flopped back down to my bed and wiped another tear from my eye.

Edward sighed and sat down next to me, which made me a little uncomfortable, but he didn't make a move to touch me so I was trying to refrain from saying anything more.

"I'm sorry." He said after a few minutes of us sitting in silence.

"For what?" I asked softly.

He shook his head. "For everything. I know that this is my fault. I should have listened to Jessica and Michael when they told me not to pursue you. If I had, then we wouldn't be here."

"It's…not entirely your fault. I should have said no. I had no interest to date you and I shouldn't have…given you the Bella Special. I should have said no."

"I wouldn't have listened to your no. I would have just thought of it as a challenge and pestered you until you said yes."

"Why?" I shook my head, "I…it wouldn't have been worth it. I wouldn't put out and I think we can both agree that you're not exactly looking for something meaningful."

"Are you…looking for something meaningful? Would you ever give love another chance?"

Somehow, this conversation had turned weird very quickly.

"No." I stated, "I already found my love and he's gone so…there's nothing for me to even look for."

"What about your needs?"

"I don't have needs. I am fine as I am." I replied, offended.

"I'm not just talking about physical needs, Bella. Although, I think you could highly benefit from that tremendously. What about simple companionship? Someone to share the happy times with. Someone to help you through the tough times. Hell, someone to just hug and laugh with. I can't imagine how lonely you must be."

"I have Maisey so…I'm never alone."

It was a completely silly excuse to his line of questioning. I knew that wouldn't hold out for long.

"She's five, and don't you think that's a lot to put on a five-year old? Plus, it's kinda hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't even know what conversationalist means. But hey, what do I know, maybe you like spending day after day talking about Play-doh and Barbies."

"In that order." I quipped.

"Bella."

I sighed and flopped back on my bed. "So what if I'm emotionally stunted? My life…it was going just fine, you know."

He joined me and leaned back on his arm to look at me directly. "If you ever gather up the courage to have an adult conversation…I'm here."

"Adult? You're not exactly the poster boy for adult conversation."

"I'm here, Bella." He shook off my carefree attitude and pushed for more solemnity.

It was weird. Him sitting here on my bed and looking into my eyes while trying to be serious. This whole thing was weird and out of whack. I wanted to push him off my bed and return to my solitary but, in a strange way, I kind of understood what he was trying to relay, and that scared me. This was the man that I couldn't stand. This was the man who made every fiber of my being ache with frustration.

"I'll remember that."

The fact that he caught me in a moment of weakness was my only defense.

Edward patted my leg and then pushed himself off my bed. He walked over to the door and looked back at me once more with a small smile before he left. We had made headway. However, with our fiery attitudes, I doubted that this would cause an infinite cease of fire. Having such an intimate conversation with Edward did help with alleviating all the worry of my future. Not because I could foresee a future where Edward was a part of it, but more so that the awkwardness from our conversation practically fried my brain to think about anything else.

I finally fell sound asleep and it wasn't until Edward had returned to my room that I woke up once more. He shook my arm and called my name softly and I was surprised that, when I finally did open my eyes, it was so dark.

"What time?" I croaked.

"Enough for a quick shower and something to eat. I made chicken quesadillas and we already ate."

I pushed myself up to a sitting position and waited for the room to stop spinning.

"I really have to go to this thing?" I asked again.

"It would be best." He replied. "You have an hour."

I was never one for sleeping my day away. However, since I arrived here, I hadn't done much else. I felt groggy and sore as I pulled my body to the shower and it was then that I decided that I could no longer keep up this sloth like existence. I would go to this book club tonight and try to remain uncritical of these people's lives, befriend them. I could do that, right?

Just the thought made me nervous. I was never one for making friends, even back at home; the friends I made had taken me years to obtain. Solemnly, I finished up my shower and looked through my newly obtained clothes to find something appropriate. I dressed conservatively, just in case they were the Bible type of townsfolk, and finished off my hair in a schoolmarm bun.

As I walked down the stairs, Edward rushed over with a plate and handed it to me at the base of the stairs.

"That's what you bought today?" He cringed looking at me.

"I was trying to blend in."

"With the Little House on the Prairie cast?" He quipped.

"I'm not going tonight." I turned to go back up the stairs, but Edward pulled me back.

"I'm just kidding. Don't get your calico skirt in a bunch."

I took the plate from him and walked over to the table with it.

"Where's Maisey?" I asked.

"Out playing with her dolls on the porch."

"It's a little dark to be out there alone."

"She's fine, Bella. This is like the safest town in America."

"Horrible things happen to little girls everywhere, even small town America. Green Mile. Time to Kill…."

"Uh-oh, you can't name a third. You're argument just failed."

"Give me a second!"

Edward stood up and walked over to the screen door and called out for her, "Moo Moo, can you please come in before your mommy can think of a third title?"

"Wouldn't want another freak out." He grumbled.

Maisey popped through the door with her dolls in tow.

"It's not even cold outside. At home it would be cold." She told me.

"Yeah, weird, huh?" I replied, finally taking a bite of the dinner Edward had made. I hadn't had a Quesadilla in years and, man, did it take me back. The melted cheese as it mingled with the chicken and the tortilla was practically my undoing. I had set myself on a strict diet for so long that I had forgotten how good food could be.

"Good?" Edward probed.

"Not bad…but would it kill you to make a veggie every once in a while? A week with your cooking will have me gaining ten pounds."

"You could use the ten pounds." He replied.

"Well, I'm all ready to go." I finished up the meal quickly.

"Keys to the truck." He tossed me the keys and they sailed past me as I sat there staring at him. "You were supposed to catch them."

"I don't know how to drive."

"What?!" Edward exclaimed.

"I never had a need to learn. I live in one of the most publically accessible cities in the world."

"Ah geez. Fine, I'll take you, but you are learning how to drive. In this day in age, It's silly to not know how. Come on, Moo Moo, get your coat."

I grabbed my coat and proceeded to walk out the house with Maisey in front of me. We got into the car and I pulled out the directions.

"So you're going to pick me up in an hour, right?"

"Where are you going, mommy?"

"You're mommy wants to go and make some new friends. Something you'll get to do next week when you go to school."

"An hour, right?" I clarified once more.

"Two." Edward countered.

"NO! Come on, an hour is more than efficient."

"Hour and a half is the best I can do."

I sighed and laid my head back against the head rest. "Fine, an hour and a half, but you better not leave me there a minute more."

"You're going to be great."

I rolled my eyes, "What are you two going to do while I'm gone?"

"Oh, the usual. Grab some hooch. Smoke a ciggy. Same ole. Same ole." He smiled over to me as we pulled up to a small yellow house. "We'll be fine, mom."

"You better."

"Go make friends."

I looked down at Maisey, longingly, and kissed her one last time on her precious perfect little head. "I will miss you."

"Would you stop that? You'll scare her." Edward reprimanded. "Mommy is crazy."

I opened the door and looked around cautiously. For a second, I thought of turning back around and jumping back into the truck, but then Rosie caught me.

"Bella! You came." She squealed. "Girls, this is Bella."

A gaggle of women came parading out of the small house. All dressed in a somewhat similar fashion with, practically, all the same hair, just different colors. There were five in total, but it might as well be twenty-five for how uncomfortable I immediately felt in my country dress.

"And this is Edward, her brother, and Maisey, Bella's daughter." She continued to introduce.

The girls all giggled and squealed a "hi" and I felt like I was entering a sorority house.

I turned back to the car quickly. "You better be back here in an hour."

"Have fun, sissy." Edward waved evilly. "Have a good night, ladies."

"Edward." I snapped.

But he was already moving the car, leaving me in the dust. I awkwardly turned back to the house and saw the ladies all waiting with smiles for me. I sighed and walked toward my doom.

"Sorry, I…didn't bring a book."

The immediately started to laugh.

"Oh Bella…we don't really read anything. It's just an excuse to get away from our husbands and kids for a night." Rosie replied.

"Okay…so, what exactly do you do then?" I asked weary.

"We party." Rosie squealed and all the girls squealed with her. "Get this girl a drink!"

Rosie started to push me into the country home, and I could tell that children lived here by all the toys. The house was in complete disarray, and I wondered if I would even be able to find a place to sit in this heap.

"Bella, I want you to meet Alice." She pointed to small, wide-eyed girl. "Angela, Bree, and Emily."

"Nice to meet you." I tried to sound positive, but I could feel my nerves still.

"So, tell us all about yourself." I think the girl named Alice asked.

Rosie handed me a drink and I eyed it skeptically.

"What's this?"

"Vodka Cranberry. We start off light." She joked.

I took a sip and I could feel my eyes begin to wander.

"All right. All right. She has her drink, now spill…the gossip not the drink." Another girl pushed, I think she was Bree.

"Calm down, Emily. You don't want to scare her."

Apparently, I was wrong, she was Emily the other one was Bree? Or maybe Angela…

"Well, what do you want to know?" I replied a little shaky.

"What's the deal on your brother, is he married?"

"Uh…no?"

"Has he been married before?" She pushed.

"Why does that matter?" Another girl asked.

"Because, if he has, then it's practically too late. Spoiled goods. You see the first one is for love, the second marriage is to fix all that you screwed up on in the first marriage, and by marriage three he'll practically say yes to anything because he's just plain exhausted, and any marriage after that….he must like paying alimony. I read about it in Seventeen." Emily informed.

The girls looked at me like my answer was going to determine the course of mankind.

"I…don't know." The stupidest possible response, but I couldn't take it back.

"What do you mean you don't know? He's your brother." Alice inquired.

"True…he is…but we were separated for many years. My...our parents died when we were young…"

"How?" Rosie interrupted.

How? HOW! How indeed.

"They were in a…circus and they were trapeze people, and one day they were out on the high swingy things when the rope broke and they both fell to their death." Was I really reciting the origin story for Robin? "So….my brother was taken in by this rich…man who showed him how to be all that he can be…"

"He was in the army?"

Crap.

"Yes. He… was… in the army. Stationed very far away and, when he recently got back from his back to back to back tours, he came and found me and, so you see, we really don't know much about each other or our pasts. We're just getting to know one another all over again."

I slammed back the drink Rosie had given me and mentally smacked myself in the head. I was crap at lying. Scratch that, I was actually pretty good at lying, but not when every word that came out of my mouth had the potential to put us in grave danger. Damn Edward for not preparing me better. He should have given me a full back story to arrive with. Married? Had he been married before? Does it really matter? Well, I guess when you're Emily, it matters greatly.

"Your brother sounds like a dream boat. A marriageless orphan who fought for our country and searched out his dire sister and her daughter." Emily swooned.

"I'm not dire." I complained softly. "Besides…like I said, he could have been married. He very well could have been married, several times. He could very well be a diseased-riddled impotent sad little man for all I know. I mean, we haven't been back in each other's lives for very long so it's possible. Can I get a refill on this?" I held up my empty glass and Rosie took it quickly.

"What happened to you after your parent's died? Who did you go and live with?" Alice asked.

"Uh…well there…I was sent to live with an Inn keeper and his wife. They were awful people who tried to cheat every one of their guests. They treated me like a slave but, one day, a friend of my mother's came and sought me out and, for a small price, the Inn keeper released me and I spent the rest of my days living with an old French man."

"Wow, you two have lived such fascinating lives."

Thankfully, I was cut off before my story went into the French Rebellion. I tried to remain out of the spot light until my hour and a half was up. I sat in my chair sipping on my drink and trying to refrain from speaking, but these darn women and their nosey selves made that hard. I found when I would direct a question toward them; they would immediately spend a solid ten minutes giving me an answer. However, I hadn't paid attention to a word anyone said, still going over my back story and thinking of all the ways Edward was going to kill me.

I was never to my feet so quickly then when the doorbell rang. Of course, since I had ingested copious amounts of alcohol, I began to fall over, but Angela caught me and helped steady me.

"Oooo Bella's a lush." Emily cackled.

Rosie danced over to the front door and was excited to find Edward on the other side of it.

"Your sister sure can't hold her alcohol." She giggled. "Rooster in the hen house."

"Rooster in the hen house." The girls repeated.

I fell into Edward and whispered, "Get me out of here."

"Thank you so much ladies for showing my sister a good time." Edward placed his arm around me. "Say thank you, Bella."

"Thank you…it was…fun." I tried.

"Come back again next week. Same time. Same book." Rosie called after us.

"Why do I get the feeling that you guys didn't read at all?" Edward laughed.

"Just help me into the car."

Maisey was already asleep on the seat and I propped her up so I could slide in. Edward made sure that I was in before closing the door and I could tell by the bounce in his step that he was enjoying my inebriated self far too much.

"Okay. Tell me everything."

"Edward…I screwed up…I really screwed up. We are so screwed." I began to cry.

The smile vanished from his face and was quickly replaced with concern.

"Fuck." I heard him softly curse. He started up the car.

"I'm sorry." I tried.

"Not a word. Not one more word until we're home." He snapped.

I laid my head against the door and continued to softly cry. How had my night gone so incredibly wrong? What the heck was the matter with me? I had one job to do and now, because of my stupid big mouth, we were in some real trouble.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Sorry this took so long to get out to you, i hope you enjoyed it.

I want to send a special shout out to **TwiFanfictionRecs** for featuring The Lottery of Life and The Definition of Love on their website. Please visit the dot com to see other great stories to read.

Thank you again to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl **for her time and work on this story.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Every time I would try to speak, even a word, Edward would hold up one finger as a signal for me to be quiet. Normally I would be offended, but now I was just afraid of his reaction. He carried Maisey up to her room and I managed to make it to the chair on the porch. I could feel my inebriation and berated myself for having put myself in that position. I was not a heavy drinker. An occasional glass of wine was all, and I always tried to steer clear of any of the hard stuff. I knew better, and now my silly alcohol induced thought process might have just ended us up in a heap of trouble.

Edward walked out of the house with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and a shot glass to boot. Well, at least he brought a shot glass; it would have been a terrible sign if he had just brought the bottle. I listened to the sound of the liquid as it trickled and the glass as it clinked together with the bottle. I tried to occupy my mind while I nibbled on my lip, waiting for Edward to give me the signal to start explaining. He took the shot and then cracked his neck before looking at me.

"Okay." His raspy voice commanded.

I took a shaky breath and then swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I didn't know what to say…there were just so many of them and they were like chickens pecking away at me with their questions. It was all very violent in a way." I tried to defend.

"What did you say?" He snapped.

"Emily wanted to know if you were ever married….or was it Bree?" I wondered for a second, "They all looked alike and were practically the same person…"

"Bella!" Edward barked.

"Right! Okay, so one of the girls asked if you had ever been married before because apparently that would determine whether you're dateable. If you hadn't been, then you were like perfect goods, but its worse if you have been because then you're practically damaged goods, unless you've been married at least three times because then it just depends on whether the girl wants alimony or something."

"Bella, get to the point." He snapped again.

"I didn't know if you were ever married." I practically yelled.

"And…" His patience was wearing thin.

"So…I said I didn't know and then that seemed odd because…I'm you're sister, right? I should know these things, but I didn't and they thought that was weird so they wanted to know why I wouldn't know such a thing. So, I pretty much told them that you were Dick Grayson. Our parents died from some circus freak accident and you were taken in by Bruce Wayne…but I never called him Bruce Wayne, I just said he was like really wealthy, and then you joined the army and after your tours you came back to find me, and I'm Cosette from Les Miserables, singing Castle on the Cloud and sweeping until I was rescued by a French man. There! I said it." I huffed and then grabbed his bottle of whiskey, taking a shot straight from the bottle. I slammed the bottle back down and tried to blow out the fire it caused in my chest.

After a few seconds I managed to gather the courage to look at Edward. He seemed to be studying me or waiting for me to say something more.

"Well? Are we completely screwed or what?"

Edward poured himself another shot and then held it up to his lips.

"Are you fucking with me?"

I furrowed my brow and shook my head, "What? Uh…what?"

I was so confused and didn't understand why there wasn't more yelling. He should be yelling, shouldn't he? He slammed the shot back and then settled the glass back on the table. He sat there nodding his head for a few seconds and then, suddenly, a smile crept up to his face, eventually turning into full blown laughter. He was laughing so hard I could see him wiping tears from his eyes, but I just sat there staring at him like he had flown right over the coo coo's nest.

"Uh…hello!" I snapped. "What are you laughing about?"

"I'm Robin!" He cackled. "I'm Robin…that's the back story you gave us? I'm Robin?"

"Uh huh…you're Robin." I replied, utterly confused.

"Next time I wanna be Batman. I would so make a great Batman." He continued to laugh.

"You're not mad?" I wagered.

He finally calmed down and I slowly slid the bottle away from him. It seemed to me that we had about enough of that stuff for one night.

"You're really not mad?" I asked again.

"No…I…was prepared for you to tell me that you told them who you really were or had said you witnessed a murder. I wasn't prepared for the back story of a lifetime. I guess, if anyone asks or see's the resemblance, I can always say that you're delusional, hence the reason I moved in with you. Fear of the welfare of your child and all."

"Don't tell people that." I hissed.

"Hey, you're the one who went off and told the town that I'm some crime fighting superhero. Even now I wonder if you are a little mentally unbalanced to come up with such a silly story." He teased.

"I was drinking." I huffed, playfully. "I would have practically admitted to Bob Marley being my father in the state I was in."

"Well that could very well be true. That Bob Marley did get around."

"You're stupid." I rolled my eyes.

"From now on, just try to leave me to telling our story. I can work in the army angle, no problem. As for the rest, please, just let me do the talking."

"Fine. You get to go to the next "book club." I was completely ambushed. I was prepared to talk about the Bible or slutty fantasy books, not…myself."

"Ah well, I'm sure you can work in some nasty biblical slutty story into your back story if it makes you happy. You can tell the town how you prostituted yourself out until the day came when a man forgave you of your sins and the locusts were exiled due to your repentance."

"You are never going to let this go." I sighed.

"Absolutely not!"

"Well, then, I'm off to bed. If you're really not upset with me and plan to spend the rest of your night making fun at my expense, it's time for sleep." I pushed out of my chair and steadied myself.

"Need help there, drunky?" He razzed.

"No." I held onto the door frame. It had been quite a while since I had drunk this much and, with the added whiskey shot, balance was not my friend. "Good night."

"Good night, Cosette. And for what it's worth…I'm damaged goods."

I stared at him, trying to comprehend what he meant with that statement. I nodded slowly and figured I would think about it a little more on my own. I stumbled through the front door and could still hear the clank of the whiskey bottle and shot glass when I made it to the stairs. It took all the concentration I had to make it to my room that night. I didn't even undress or try to clean myself up in the bathroom, the moment I laid down on the bed and the spinning began, I decided to just lay my claim here for the rest of the night.

I was relieved that Edward seemed to be okay with my snafu, I had thought that he would have gone ballistic, but he surprised me. I guess if I had to admit to myself, the night with the girls wasn't so awful, at least when I wasn't talking it wasn't so awful. It was time to start embracing this new life. I was no longer able to reject it and, if I really was going to help do my part on making this place home for me and my daughter, I needed to stop stressing so much.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow was a new day and I was a new Bella. A clean slate was something rarely given in life and I had the opportunity to change my negatives. I was going to show that Edward just how much of a team player I could be.

Edward. Damaged goods Edward. Damaged goods…

I opened my eyes instantly and realized what he meant. He had been married before. Edward Cullen, man whore, had been married before. Well, that was certainly something to chew on. Not that it mattered or anything. I had been married before so, I guess in a way, I'm damaged goods.

He was nice tonight. He did more than I could have expected him to do today. I should lay off him and support him the way he has supported me and my daughter. Sure, he could be rather crude and womanizing, which went against my every fiber of being, but I'm sure being saddled with some woman and a kid wasn't exactly his ideal situation either. Someone like Edward had needs to constantly be filled and it was only a matter of time before he would go stir crazy as well. Not that I expected him to remain celibate because he was living here. He could go out and make the women of Dix town very pleased, but he better not think he could bring back whatever conquests he made to the house where my child lived. I would not have women traipsing in and out of here like some BOGO sale.

I calmed myself, knowing that, once again, I was getting upset for no reason. Maybe he was just a product of his environment. He became a womanizer because some woman broke his heart and divorced him. Maybe, like my James, she died. Go to bed, Bella Kerns. I snorted, thinking of my new name, and finally fell into an alcohol-induced coma.

I woke up in a pool of my own drool the next morning, and it was much too bright and cheery in my room. I would need to rectify that immediately and obtain some curtains. I peeked at the clock and it wasn't even seven yet. Pulling myself up, like a zombie, I stumbled into the bathroom to relieve my burning bladder and began to quickly undress. A bath was the only way I could even begin to remedy the pain in my head and body.

I laid in the tub, wondering how Edward handled his alcohol from last night. Did he drink much more after I had left? Surely, someone of his…type could handle a few shots of whiskey. It was still early, but I knew that wouldn't keep Maisey down. She was an odd one. When she didn't have school, she was an early bird who rose at the crack of dawn and spent her morning piloting different cartoon shows. However, during school mornings, I would have to wrestle her out of bed and she could be quite grumpy.

I shuffled out of the bathroom, with my hair in a towel, and walked down the stairs dressed in my new Bella Swan get-up. Jeans and a t-shirt. Sorry, the new Bella Kerns get-up.

"Hey, I didn't think I would see you for another couple of hours." Edward greeted me.

"I kinda wondered the same of you. You were still drinking when I left last night."

I took a seat at the table and looked around for my child.

"She's out with her tree."

"Her tree?" I asked.

"Yeah, the big one out front. That's her tree. She asked if I would make her a clubhouse but, like the responsible uncle I am, I told her we would wait to ask you. So, for now, she just skips around the tree and sings songs to it. Your kid is very weird."

"It's adorable. Not weird." I defended.

"You're right. She's adorably weird." He smirked. "So, I was thinking we could go into town for breakfast this morning. Then take a ride over to Moo Moo's school so she can see it before the big day."

"Okay. That's a good idea." I stood back up to go and grab my purse.

"You look good today." Edward commented, and it completely made me stumble.

"Uh…"

"I mean…you look normal, I guess. Not like you're auditioning for Dr. Quinn Medicine woman. It's…good…you look…"

Hearing Edward and his lack of confidence in his voice was a tad daunting. Why would he have such trouble talking to me suddenly? Maybe he thought I would be offended by his compliments. I was a tad high-strung before, so I guess I could see the reasoning.

"Thanks. I'm trying to embrace the change."

"Good…that's good." He looked around, flustered, and then refocused back on me after a couple of awkward seconds. "So, are you ready?"

"Yeah! Let's go." I turned away from him and cringed, wondering why it suddenly became awkward between us. I pulled the towel off my head and shook out my hair knowing, in this weather, it would only be a matter of moments before it was dry again.

"Maisey." I called out, and my little sprite instantly stopped her ring around the tree to look over to me, "We're going to go get breakfast."

I watched her whisper something to the tree and then give it a gentle pat. She came running over to the car, thankfully, not too dirty.

"What were you doing over there?" I asked, helping her into the truck.

"I wanted to tell Fred that I would be back later so he didn't get too lonely."

She said it with such conviction that I almost believed she was talking to a human being.

"Fred?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. He looked like a Fred."

"Hey, some kids have pet rocks, my kid has a pet tree." I shrugged.

"Weird. Adorably weird." Edward shook his head and then headed down the road to the main highway.

I rolled down my window so I could take in the fresh air that I had yet to really embrace since we arrived. I looked out over the land and saw few trees. I started to imagine a tornado coming through here and that worried me, so I quickly moved onto a different topic.

There wasn't much in town from what I could see as we drove down the dirt roads. Only one main street with small shops to line it was all. I could see now that the small city we visited yesterday was practically metropolitan compared to this. There was the market that we had already gone to and, next to that, a salon. Edward parked the truck in front of the diner that was right across from the market.

"Not much." Edward said, looking around.

"Basic necessities, I guess." I replied. "I think I see a bakery or something…and a small town must have, a bar."

"Basic necessities." Edward agreed, taking Maisy's hand.

We walked into the A&amp;B café and I instantly recognized one of the ladies I met with last night. I was mentally snapping my fingers, trying to come up with the name, but it completely eluded me.

"Bella." She happily greeted, which was a little out of character since the night before she hadn't said more than two sentences.

"Hey….uh…" I struggled.

"Angela." She reminded.

"Right! Angela. Sorry, there was a lot more alcohol last night than I'm used to."

She waved me off, "I understand, especially since you were new, Rosie always weighs down the cup with newbies."

My face must have shown offense, because Angela immediately tried to fix what she had said.

"Oh, it's just something she does because she wants to help with the nerves. Help you relax and all…"

Edward stepped in. "Of course. It's completely understandable. I can't thank you enough for getting my batty sister out for an evening."

"We had a great time…you should come again next week."

"She wouldn't miss it. Right, sis?" Edward put his arm around my shoulders.

"Can't wait."

Bella Kerns replies, I thought stiffly.

"So, three today?" Angela smiled and picked up some menus. "Most of the town doesn't usually come in here until about ten o'clock."

"Oh well…we'll eat fast." I quipped.

"Oh no! You mustn't, people around here are so excited to meet the new family in town. You're all anyone can talk about round here. I'll get you all settled and then go grab my husband, you just have to meet Ben."

She set us down at a table by the window and handed us the menus before taking off to go and find her husband.

"We have to eat fast. Last thing we need is to be gawked at like we're puppies in a window for sale."

"Where are the puppies?" Maisey looked around eagerly.

"We're supposed to be meeting new people. What happened to embrace the change Bella?"

"Baby steps, Edward. Besides, it's not like I've seen you pitch forking with the boys yet. You just keep throwing me to the wolves. Maybe you should be the sacrificial lamb for once."

He smirked and leaned in closer, "Oh, Bella, you know you're the lamb…and I'm the wolf."

I pulled back and looked at him curiously. He stood up and held out his hand to greet our new guest.

"Edward Kerns. Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's all my mine. I'm Ben. Welcome!"

Ben was a bit of a looker if I was being honest with myself. He wasn't very bulky, but he had a face of an angel. He looked nice enough so I exchanged pleasantries as well.

"Why don't we get something started for you? I imagine you folks must be hungry. Breakfast on the house as a welcome." Ben smiled.

"Oh and, don't you worry, I already put the call out, so you should have plenty of company any moment." Angela added.

Edward looked over to me and I struggled to find the appropriate words.

"Look at her, my sister's practically speechless by your generosity. You'll have to forgive her; we're not used to such kindness where we come." Edward covered for me.

"Oh, I heard all about it. Some time you and I will have to go to Rusty's, you can meet Jasper. He was also in the Army."

I probably would have been interested in Ben and Edward chewing the fat, but movement outside my window caught my eye and, suddenly, I was a tad horrified by the scene unfolding before me. People. Lots and lots of people. It was no Million Man March or anything, but I still saw them coming, heading straight for us. Some of the girls I had met the night before and some of their husbands as well. It seemed that Angela picked up the phone and dialed one number on the phone tree, and now we were about to be infiltrated. It felt like something out of a zombie movie as they came closer and closer.

"Oh, look at that." Ben pointed. "Angela, honey, probably best if we push some of these tables together to get ready for the rush."

Angela and Ben worked like gang busters to put tables together. I looked down at Maisey and she was completely oblivious, coloring the place mat that Angela had given her. Finally, I looked over to Edward and saw him smiling and completely enjoying the moment. And then it occurred to me, I wasn't alone. I didn't have to make up stories and lies. This time, I had a partner. The bell rang on the door as the people filed in.

I instantly felt my body relaxing. Bella Kerns was not alone. I smiled back over to Edward and his perfect grin faltered, probably because he liked to see me squirm, but now it was his turn. I would make sure of it.

"Get ready to tell some stories. You're up, partner." I winked and sat back to sip on my water.

Bella Kerns revels in her brother's soon to be misery.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Sorry this took so long to get out to you, unfortunately I am heading into a really busy season so updates could be less frequent.

I want to send a special shout out to **TwiFanfictionRecs** for featuring The Lottery of Life in the Top Ten Stories of the month. Thank you to everyone who voted for this story. You have no idea how much that means to me. THANK YOU!

Thank you again to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl **I'm sure I made her work extra hard on fixing this chapter.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

Edward and I exited the truck, working hard on restraining our actions so they wouldn't alert Maisey. I was fuming on the inside and I was sure he was too. Breakfast was a disaster.

"Honey, would you like to go and play with your tree?" I asked in my sweetest voice.

"Okay, mommy." She replied before scampering off.

Edward and I looked into each other's eyes and it was clear, we were going to war. Both of our legs practically jogged toward the house, each of us trying not to explode until we were behind closed doors, away from hearing distance.

"HOW DARE YOU!" I started.

"Keep your damn voice down. She's outside playing, not in Siberia." Edward snapped. "Besides, this is all your fault. You started this."

"I didn't start this. You started it with your comment on my desolate state. You made it sound like you were my savior or something by the way you were carrying on."

"I may have embellished the truth, but did you really have to compare me to some psycho serial killer?"

"I didn't call you a serial killer, I just said that you dressed up as a clown on occasions. In fact, I said you were a good clown, not like that Gacy fellow. You're the one who said I was a prostitute! Now everyone's going to look at me like I'm some low-class citizen. My reputation has been tarnished."

"I said you danced for money. I never said you were a prostitute and I didn't say you stripped. I was, at least, close to the truth. You were a dancer, were you not?"

"You made implications that the type of dancing I did was the…the…sexy kind." I waved my finger at him menacingly.

"Oh, don't worry, Bella. I'm pretty sure anyone who has seen you wouldn't believe you were a "sexy" dancer."

I took a step back and folded my arms across my chest self-consciously. Edward realized what he had said and how it hurt me and I could see him mentally take a step back.

I didn't have a snarky rebuttal.

"Tell Agent Black, I want a different agent."

I sighed before turning to climb the steps to my bedroom. I could hear Edward apologize quietly as I continued to walk.

I was done. This was never going to work. Edward and I were too different and it was obvious that we didn't work well with one another, which was important since our lives were in danger. How were we going to survive if we couldn't trust one another? I sat on my bed and looked out the window down at Maisey. Oddly enough, she never looked happier than dancing around that tree. We had trees in New York, but nothing like this unless you went to Central Park. I was envious of her obliviousness to our situation and resilience.

I watched as Edward walked out the front door and said a couple of words to Maisey before climbing into his truck to drive off down the path. For a second, I did wonder where he was heading off to, but I figured he must be heading into town to try to find a way to contact Agent Black, like I had requested.

I guess I shouldn't have said something as biting as telling the local townspeople that Edward was a professional clown. I couldn't help it. I wanted him to suffer as much as I had suffered so far. It was childish, but he just sat there looking so smug that the people were eating up every word he was feeding them. He painted me to be this poor distraught dancer with a child who he rode in and rescued. I was helpless and fragile and he was mighty and a hero. Stupidly, I just had to play the game along with him by telling lies and letting our breakfast guests believe silly things about Edward too.

One thing is for sure, however, Edward won. Edward always wins when it comes to out doing each other in a battle of words. He hit me where every woman hates to be hit. It doesn't matter how much a woman says she doesn't care about her looks, that's a lie. Deep down inside, of course we all want to be thought of as beautiful in at least one person's eyes.

I glance over at the mirror and give myself a good look over and sigh. James thought I was beautiful, right? God, I can't believe Edward has me questioning that. Darn him! I'm beautiful! I can be sexy!

I look at the get up I'm wearing and cringe. Okay, maybe I can't be sexy in this, but I know I can be sexy. I just choose not to be. I don't need to be. I'm not looking to turn heads. I don't need a man.

I could feel myself getting riled up once more, to the point of stripping out of my clothes to inspect my body more closely and try to see if there was still anything sexy about it.

My skin was pale…not exactly attractive, unless you live in Alaska and your skin isn't used to seeing the sun. My hair was rather dismal if I was being honest. And admittedly so, the hair growing in different areas could be better cared for. It wasn't like I was a wilder beast, but I hadn't shaved in a couple weeks and my privates weren't taken care of for longer than that. I wasn't one for waxing, not really needing the pain for something that no one would ever see. Okay, so shave. I could shave.

Now onto the big things. The things that would be harder to change.

My boobs.

Sad.

What I wouldn't do for a decent C cup. I took a hold of my breasts and pushed them up a bit. Yep! With breast feeding, they too had taken a downward turn. My hands slowly drop from my boobs and make my way down to my stomach. Now my stomach was one of the first things I did like about myself. Being a dancer did give me a strong core and strong legs.

But.

Butt. Then, there was my butt. A little too small for what I'm sure most men and society would like. I could do the Stairmaster to help that out if need be.

I stood there staring and making a mental list of all that I needed to change and then my brain skidded to a halt. Why again was I needing to change anything? I don't need a man so I don't need to change myself, right? Darn that Edward!

I began to furiously throw on clothes, irritated all over again that Edward had the ability to make me feel so inadequate. I heard a honk from outside and just as I pulled on a sweater and walked over to the door I could see that girl Alice making her way up to my door as she chatted with Maisey.

I wandered down the steps, finding her visit a little odd since we hadn't really become more than acquaintances at this point. I could hear Maisey going a mile a minute about her tree, Fred.

"Hi…" I greeted awkwardly.

"Hey, I know Edward went to the city with the boys and wondered if maybe you would enjoy some company."

Edward went into city? He had to go that far away to contact Agent Black?

"Oh…uh…what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Why don't you come on over to the bakery? I spy a little girl who would just love an old fashioned root beer float." Alice smiled over to Maisey.

Maisey, at once, started hopping around like she was already pre-filled with the sugar from the root beer float. I wasn't one for letting her go off and eat such sweets but, since we were new here and were both stuck here for the afternoon with nothing to do but talk to Fred, I relented on my rules.

"I guess that would be okay. Let me get my purse."

I gathered up my things while the young peppy girl waited. I could tell her energy would always outweigh mine, but it also felt nice that her energy probably outweighed most. We all got into her Jeep and she sped out toward the highway, leaving a puff of smoke behind us as we went.

"So…you saw Edward?" I asked, uneasy.

"Yeah, he came to Rusty's…didn't look so good. Emmett was planning on going into the city and asked if he wanted to join. He looked like he needed a friend and well…I figured you probably needed a friend too."

"Oh. Well…yeah, this move has been kind of hard on all of us. It's a big change and Edward and I aren't handling it well I'm afraid."

"Of course it's hard. Especially after you both lived in a really big city, coming here must be like going to Mars. You all must feel so alone, especially in a house way out here. Once you meet the people and get to know everybody, you'll find that it's not so bad. We like to go at a slower pace around here, but we don't have to worry about the things you would have to worry about in the city. Our crime rate is nonexistent and, whenever you need a hand, one will always be there. That's what's great about living here, everyone knows just about everything about everyone. We're there for your ups and for your downs. We're like a big family."

"It takes some getting used to. Edward and I…we both have been on our own for so long that we're not really sure how to accept help or even communicate. Which is why we've had some troubles." I explained.

I wondered if my request for a change of agents would mean that we would have to move again. It would be weird if, one day, Edward wasn't here and, the next, a new guy showed up. I looked down at my daughter and thought of how hard it was going to be on her to make another drastic change, especially since she had already come to accept Dix as her new home.

She had already come to accept Edward as her Uncle. She liked Edward.

I sighed, knowing that was just one more heartbreak to add to her list.

Alice pulled into the spot in front of her bakery and I could tell that it was a little more than just a bakery. It had a small ice cream parlor attached with cute little tables and chairs. The whole place was rather cute.

"We just added a little children's corner since our population is going through a baby boom right now. Isn't it great?" Alice asked.

In the corner was a mini table and chairs with books and games on a colorful cupcake rug.

"Yeah! It's cute." I agreed.

"Let's get you all set up here, Maisey." Alice said, sliding behind the counter. "Sarah, I'm up front, but I'm not working."

The young woman who Alice called out to came out of the back with an apron full of flour.

"I'm just working on the Winter's birthday cake." She replied.

"Great. Sarah, this is Bella. She just moved here with her brother Edward, and this little sprite is Maisey, her daughter." She introduced.

"Hi." I gave a wave.

"Ah yes, I heard all about you. Welcome."

It felt so weird for people to just know you, like you were some type of celebrity. I didn't like it very much.

"Why don't you grab a chair and I'll bring out my specialty after I set Maisey up with her mini root beer float." Alice instructed.

I looked around and found a seat away from the window. I didn't want a repeat of this morning, people seeing me in the window and wanting to come in and join the fun. It would be nice for me to take it slow and meet these people one at a time. A little less daunting.

After Alice had set up Maisey, she brought out a tea pot and two cups before returning to bring out a tiered plate of scones and tea cakes.

"So, as I always like to say, nothing can't be fixed with little tea and sugar." Alice started.

I stared at the tea in my cup and tried to talk myself into opening up to this woman. I didn't know her very well and, even back at home, I wasn't usually one for sharing. Irina had been my only friend that I would feel comfortable taking my problems to and, even then, I tried not to bother her with them.

"Alice, do you think…" I stopped, wondering how I wanted to ask this question. "…is there something wrong with me because I don't feel the need to be…beautiful and sexy?"

She furrowed her brow questioningly. "But…you are beautiful."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Yeah…I know, I'm beautiful in the way every person on this planet is beautiful, but Edward said something…and it made me evaluate myself and realize that maybe he's right, maybe I'm not sexy, but is there something wrong with that? Something wrong with me not wanting to feel sexy?"

"Okay, hold it." Alice held up her tiny hands, "First of all, he's your brother, he shouldn't ever think that you're sexy, because then that would be illegal. Second of all, of course you should feel sexy. Every single day of your life you should feel sexy. You can wear sexy undies or put on a sexy lotion that makes you smell all nice and tasty. Hell, you don't have to do anything at all but just have the confidence that you are sexy to be sexy. Every woman should feel sexy at least one time a day. Go home, pour yourself a bath, and relax. That's sexy. Embody the sexy, it will be good for you."

Alice spoke with such passion you'd think she was trying to get my vote for president or something. She was inspiring and empowering, but I still didn't feel sexy and I wasn't sure how I would ever get there.

"I don't know…I just have been focused on being a good mom for so long that sexy…is foreign to me. I don't know how to find that confidence that you seem to have…working with what I have." I looked down at my body and scrunched up my nose at my dry split ends.

"Well, maybe you just need a little booster. We could go down to Lisa's and get you a new hairdo. We could go shopping and find you a new outfit. Hell, by the time I'm done with you, your brother won't know what hit him." She cheered and then stopped instantly, hearing what just came out of her mouth, "Okay, maybe we could find someone else to impress…because impressing your brother would be gross!"

I laughed and shook my head. "Okay, let's do it!"

Alice spent the next two and a half hours helping me become sexy. The hair went really fast. Instead of my old school marm long brown hair, Lisa cut it off to a little past my shoulders and gave it more style. Already I could see a drastic change. Maisey hollered and cheered at my transformation. Her eyes and mouth became wide the first moment she saw me.

The clothes was little more troubling as everything that Alice handed me was either shorter or tighter then what I was used to. I could just imagine Irina getting a kick out of seeing me like this. Of course, the first time I walked out of the dressing room in my cute flippy skirt that Alice had thrown at me, she looked me up and down with her judgmental self and gave me the eye.

"Okay, so first thing about feeling sexy is to get yourself a razor, because the hair on your legs should never be able to be seen from space."

I sighed and returned to the dressing room, thoroughly embarrassed.

After the stop off at the boutique, Alice made me start wearing my new outfits. Having been modest most my life, I found the jeans to be way too tight and the shirt to be a tad low-cut but, after looking in the mirror, even I had to agree that I was definitely a lot sexier. I made sure that Alice toned it down a tad, I didn't want people really believing Edward's story of me dancing for money. But I wanted to make sure that the word got out correctly so I decided to have a chat with Alice, hoping she would work as a town crier.

"Alice…you know how this morning Edward said that I got paid to dance. I think he wasn't being clear. You see, I used to own a dance studio and I'm trained in different types of dance. Everything from modern to classical. I just thought I should clear that up in case anyone was wondering…"

"Oh…you're too funny. Edward already told us that before he left for the city. He said that you used to work in theatre and Rosalie told him that you should apply over at the school. They're looking for a Drama teacher since Mrs. Baily had to quit last year due to Emphysema and that school could use some new blood."

Drama teacher?

I taught dance, but I never fared well in plays and stuff. Of course, I didn't have a job anymore and I'm sure Edward would think it was best for us to work while we were here so we blended in better, but if he had found his replacement, we might be moving soon anyway. I looked over at Alice and it was the first time I felt a friendship on the horizon since I arrived to this town.

We pulled up to the house and I could see the truck parked in front of the house. I swallowed nervously, knowing I would have to face Edward once again. Maisey woke up from her nap and looked out the window.

"Uncle Edward's back!" She shouted, jumping out of the car.

"Tell Alice thank you, Maisey." I reminded her.

"Thank you, Alice." She beamed.

"You're welcome. I had a lot of fun today, we'll have to do it again."

And then she was off to go and see her sham uncle.

"Thank you, Alice. I…really did have a good time today. Thank you for…listening and helping me."

"I'm glad, Bella. I hope you know that we're all here for you…whenever you need. Even if you need a day off or out, you have plenty of people here to back you and your family up."

I smiled at her once more with a short nod and closed the door behind me, heading toward the porch.

"Mommy! You have to see what Uncle Edward brought us." Maisey met me at the screen door. "Look, it's really big!"

I walked in, wondering what all the excitement was for, to be met with Edward standing in our living room next to a brand new big screen television. Edward looked me over with a drop of his mouth at my transformation and walked forward a little.

"Wow…you…wow…"

"Hey." I replied softly. "So…a TV?"

I set my bags down on the table and walked over to look at his new purchase.

"Give us something to do. Thought that maybe if we had something else to focus on then maybe we wouldn't fight so much."

"You went to the bar this afternoon?" I asked.

He looked around and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah…uh…hey, Moo moo, why don't you go on up and get ready for dinner? You can watch television after dinner is done."

Maisey sighed, but got up and ran up the wooden steps.

"Look, Bella…I'm really sorry about everything. I know that I crossed the line and I didn't mean…"

"I know." I cut him off. "It doesn't matter. I'm not looking to turn heads here anyway. I'm not looking to turn your head either so it doesn't matter if you find me unattractive or…"

"I don't find you unattractive at all…I don't know what I was thinking when I said that earlier. I was just pissed off and I'm so used to fighting battles with nasty words instead of working on the problem. Probably why I'm divorced, but it was inexcusable for me to say something like that to you and I apologize for it."

I rocked awkwardly on my heels and looked at the ground, feeling the stuffiness in the air of the taxing conversation.

"Well, I wasn't exactly a charming version of myself either but…I feel torn. I really do. On one hand, I don't know if this arrangement is going to work. We can't trust one another. We can't work together without fighting and, yet, I know if you leave, you'll break Maisey's heart and she's already had to lose so much and…"

"I didn't contact Agent Black. I already know what he's going to tell me and, to be honest, you may not like me a whole lot, but it would be incredibly unsafe at this point to change out agents, especially with a leak in the department. I wouldn't do that to Maisey. You may not be able to think rationally sometimes, but I have no choice but to always be rational. So…you can hate me all you want, but I'm not leaving and, if you value Maisey's life, you won't leave either."

He was direct and stern, and normally I would want to fight with him, sensing a dictatorship, but I couldn't because he was right.

"I don't hate you." I replied quietly. "You frustrate the heck out of me but…I don't hate you."

Edward smirked and walked a little closer.

"Hell."

"What?" I asked.

"Hell…you can say it. You don't always need to be so proper." He razzed.

"One of us should be…lord knows when you're going to begin your parade of women."

He rolled his eyes but kept it cheery. "Parade of women. You think you know me so well, don't you?"

"What can I say, I know your type. I'm sure you're practically dying from being celibate this long."

"Well, maybe I should take a cue from you. You go out and come back looking like this…I'm sure you're probably very uncomfortable. Especially letting your chest feel sunlight for the first time. Maybe this time, as Edward Kerns, I could be celibate."

"HA!" I scoffed. "You wouldn't for even a month. I'm sure you're already feeling stir crazy."

"Edward Cullen wouldn't last a month but Edward Kerns…he's a lot tougher then you think. Hell, look at Isabella Kerns, she's already loads better."

"Because I'm in skin tight jeans, I'm loads better?" I questioned.

He walked closer to me and I tried to back away, hitting a wall. His cologne washed over me as he leaned in. His voice was quiet and raspy, "No, because you have confidence and don't you know Isabella Kerns…there's nothing sexier than that."

He smiled one last time, before walking past me toward the kitchen while I stayed against my wall, wondering what the heck just happened to me? I finally found a breath and steadied myself, my body's tingling coming back to its proper state. Did he work some voodoo magic on me? What the heck just happened to me? Forget that. What the hell just happened to me?

* * *

**AN:** Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Sorry this took so long to get out to you, with the holidays, life's crazy at the moment. I want to wish everyone a Happy merry everything to you and yours and if I don't update before the the New Year then I wish you a productive and great 2015!

Thank you again to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl!**

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

It took a great amount of concentration to make it through dinner that evening. The way Edward had spoken to me just minutes prior was somewhat of a frightening revelation. The smell of his cologne wafting over me with his husky voice gave me a hint of affirmation. The moment any feeling would arise within me, I would have to look over to my daughter and find my husband James looking back at me through her eyes, and that would cease all further thoughts.

What was happening to me? I never looked at Edward before, so why now? I get all glammed up and he speaks softly to me in some raspy voice and suddenly I'm having feelings….urges.

Urges.

Crap, he's looking over here. I quickly shake the nasty thoughts and take a drink of water.

"What was that about?" he asked, suspecting.

"What is what?" I replied too quickly.

"You're acting weird." He furrows his brow and continues to inspect me, and I work overtime thinking of something that I dislike in order to keep the blush from my cheeks.

Dust.

Rudeness.

Poverty.

"Something is definitely up with you and I don't think I will like it when you finally do admit to it."

"Nothing is up." I stand up from the table and take my plate over to the sink. "Maisey, are you finished?"

"Yes, mommy. Can I go watch the tele-vision now?"

"Sure, but only for an hour. You have bed time." I reminded.

She scampers off toward our new flat screen to settle down in the big chair and has it already set to Disney before I can walk back to the table to retrieve her dirty dish.

"So…they told me about a job opening at the school today. What do you think?" I hoped my question would be enough of a distraction for Edward.

"Yeah, I heard. They have an opening for a gym teacher as well. I was thinking of applying. It's probably best that we obtain jobs so we can keep up the charade."

"Can we? I mean, we don't have any form of identification or the necessary credentials."

"I can take care of that. I have to go into the city tomorrow and I will talk to Agent Black then."

I finished washing off the plates and began to pull the food from the table, taking Edward's plate as well.

"You don't have to do that. I can get my own plate."

"Oh, come on. You cooked so it's only fair that I clean up."

"Well, if that's how it's going to be, I'll cook every meal. I hate clean up." He grimaced.

"I'm just happy that you found something somewhat healthy for my kid to eat."

"That's how I do it. I slowly lull you into a world of trans fat and carbs. In a month, you'll be hooked. Just you wait and see." He playfully poked me in the side. Feeling awkward of his flirtations, I didn't respond to his jesting and opted to return to the sink, letting my hair create a nice veil from looking at him.

"So…you're going into the city tomorrow. Denver? That's a long drive."

"The farther away I get, the better, just in case. I would ask you to come, but I don't think Moo Moo would be up for that long of a drive."

"No. No. It's for the best. I have to get Maisey ready for school on Monday. I will probably see if Alice can give us a ride to town so we can get school supplies. Besides, now that you bought that thing, I'm sure I won't be able to pull her away for that long of a trip." I sighed, waving my hand at the new addition.

"That thing? That thing has a heart you know." He kidded. "Besides, I'm sure you're thanking me deep down inside, but if you're not, believe me, you will be. It can get mighty boring out here. But, don't worry, I have a little surprise for you later."

I grimaced looking at him in shock. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whoa, calm down there miss dirty minded." He razzed, "I bought us some DVDs that we can all enjoy. Well…not all can enjoy. The content could be a little mature for Moo Moo to handle, but I had you in mind when I was shopping. I think I found something that even you will like."

"Oh!" I pulled back and relaxed a little.

"Need to lighten up, Bella." He sang, walking over toward the living room and joining Maisey.

I finished cleaning up dinner and began to walk toward the living room, but stopped when I noticed that my only seating option would be to sit next to Edward on the couch. The couch was long enough to accommodate both of us but, still, it would feel awkward.

"You can join us. You don't need to stand there like a statue." Edward offered.

"Uh…" I look around and see that I'm saved by the bell, "Maisey, it's bedtime. Let's get you ready."

Maisey pulls herself off the big chair and runs over to Edward and gives him a big hug.

"Goodnight, Uncle Edward."

Something in my heart breaks all over again as I see her bond with the first male figure to be present in her life since she was a baby. I watch as Edward gives her a kiss on the head and tells her good night. And even though I know I am a good mom, I feel like I failed her. There was something she needed and I couldn't provide.

I walk her up the steps and talk to her while she brushes her teeth, telling her how we are going school supply shopping tomorrow, and then I tuck her in for the night. I leave the bathroom light on for her night light and let the door stay open a smidge so she isn't bothered by the sounds of the television.

I stand at the top of the stairs staring down. I can tell that Edward has turned off the lights and it's only the glow from the screen that illuminates the downstairs. I am at a crossroads. It's too early to go to sleep, but it wouldn't be right going downstairs when my whole being has been fighting with itself this evening.

Go to bed, Bella!

GO TO BED!

My inner monologue yelling at itself is enough to push my feet towards my bedroom. I too get ready for bed, irritated that I have forced the bedtime of a child onto myself. I want to smack myself upside the head over this ridiculousness as I angrily put my pajamas on. I go through the motions of teeth brushing and washing up and when I return to my bed, it doesn't looking any more inviting then it did ten minutes ago.

I stare up at the ceiling, knowing full well that sleep is not my friend right now. However, a few minutes into my silent personal reflections, I hear a soft knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I called out.

The door opens and it's Edward.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he would come to my bedroom at this time of night.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"It's like eight-thirty." He replied with the shake of his head.

"And?"

I know he has every right to ask me questions, even in his tone, but I can't help but snap at him.

"Bella...you're not a child." He whispered, conspiratorially. "You get to go to bed at the grown up time."

I rolled my eyes, even though he can't see me in the dark, and sighed.

"I was tired."

"No, you're not. You go to bed now and you'll be up with the rooster. And we don't even have a rooster so it will be doubly pathetic. I thought you were going to come back down. I had the DVD player all set up and ready."

"So…you can watch it without me. I'm sure our tastes don't run in the same vein of entertainment."

"Would you please come down?" He huffed.

"Why?"

"Because, you're practically the only adult I get to interact with, and I would appreciate a little intellectual stimulation."

I make a great scene of getting up and out of bed even though, a half hour ago, I had to fight to not go down those stairs. Down the stairs and straight into hell, I think cynically.

"Thank you. You won't regret this."

I'm sure I will.

The television is on and the DVD menu is up. I read the title out loud wondering what it is.

"Game of Thrones."

"Have you seen it?" Edward asked.

"What is it?"

He stared at me in shock, with his mouth dropped open and his eyes wide.

"What is it?" He clarified. "What is it?"

"Are you planning on answering the question or will we be here all night, Mr. Trebeck?"

"Bella…this is like one of the greatest television feats of all time. Game of Thrones is mind blowing."

"What's it about?" I asked apathetically.

Edward scrunches his forehead and takes a minute before he begins to stutter out an answer.

"Well…you see, there's this throne…and…."

"And let me guess; are there games around this throne?" I mocked.

"Just shut up and watch the show." He huffed, giving up.

I can't help but smile triumphantly as I take my place on the couch. Edward grabs the remote and plops right down next to me, pressing play, all in one swift motion.

"What are you doing?" I asked, possibly a tad too sharply.

Edward looked at me like I had lost my mind and I began to wonder if indeed I had. What the hell was the matter with me? I could practically feel myself break into a sweat by how close he was.

"I thought we could cuddle." He stated matter of factly.

My eyes bugged out of my skull and he began laughing.

"What is with you? Seriously!"

My eyes darted around the room so I wouldn't have to look at him while I prepared my answer.

"I…just wanted to be able to…stretch out, and I can't do that if your bulky body takes up the whole couch." I rambled.

"Bulky body?" He thinks about that for a minute. "I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment. You have room to stretch. I promise my muscles and I will not impede on your stretch time."

He waves at my legs and then pushes himself down as far as he can go, opposite of me. The music starts and I begin to place all my focus on the television as my feet dangle closely toward the no go zone of Edward and his bulky body. Bulky body! Bulky body? I want to smack myself once again. I sighed and shook my head, frustrated at my current lack of brainpower.

"The show is only five minutes in. What on earth could you possibly be huffing at over there?" Edward snapped.

"I'm just…thinking." I sighed, exasperated. "I wasn't trying to silently comment on your little show. I was thinking of…other things."

Edward paused the show and looked over to me. "Would you not! Please, for the love of god, just relax and not think for once? Eyes on the screen, brain off, and watch the show as it was intended to be watched; mindlessly."

"Fine! If it will get you to shut up and get through this so I can go to bed, then fine, I will mindlessly watch your show."

"Thank you! Was that too much to ask?" He replied under his breath. "The next time I catch you trying to think while this is playing…I'm going to poke your…toe." He looked down at my feet and, self-consciously, I tried to dig them into the couch cushion.

Once more, Edward pressed play and we began to watch. I tried to not think about anything more than the show in front of me. It was some kind of period piece set in medieval times or something and so far there were like a thousand different characters introduced and each of them more annoying than the last. These are some horrible people.

My eyes wander over to Edward and I see that he is thoroughly enjoying the show. I watch as the light bounces off his perfectly sculpted face with his piercing green eyes. A hint of a smile plays on his lips and, for a moment, I am lost. I too find myself smiling while I watch him.

However, like we suddenly had surround sound in our tiny house, my head snaps to the screen. My mouth drops open and I am in a state of shock as two of the characters have taken to…doing it right there on the big screen.

I jump out of my seat and dash toward the television.

"Shhh! Shhh!" I frantically wave my hands at the screen while I look for the volume button.

"What the hell is the matter?" Edward yelled

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" I shouted back.

Edward hits pause on the screen, allowing the noise to desist, but the screen is paused with the blonde one mounting the other blond one from behind. Hey, isn't that his sister?

"Bella!" Edward breaks me from my thoughts.

"I have a child upstairs. I don't need her learning about the birds and the bees this way." I snapped.

"Oh, come on! She's asleep and, besides, it wasn't that loud. You didn't seem to have a problem with the whorehouse scene."

Whorehouse scene? I tried to think back, but I must have not been paying attention. Edward's copper locks and green eyes flash through my mind.

"Well…it…wasn't…loud then." I stuttered out a hopeless defense.

Edward sighed and his body sagged, "Fine, how about we turn the volume down every time there's a sex scene."

"Every time? How many sex scenes are there?" I asked uncomfortably.

"I don't know. I didn't exactly keep a count the last time I watched this. A lot. I promise to lower the volume for every sex scene. Geez!"

I looked back to the screen, saw it frozen, and cringed. "Look, I don't really think this is my cup of tea. The show is really violent and it's kind of mature."

"Bella, you're not twelve. You can watch something that doesn't have a singing sponge in it. You are a mature woman who can watch a mature television program. Hell, I would swear you were a virgin if the proof wasn't sleeping soundly upstairs."

"First of all, we don't watch Spongebob. That seems more like a show for your level of maturity. And, secondly, there is nothing wrong with me not wanting to watch this…this filth." I spat.

"Heaven knows God must be watching you, Bella. It must be forbidden to see the flesh so tempting." He mocked. "On second thought, Moo Moo is obviously a product of immaculate conception. I highly doubt you have ever really been touched by a man for, if you had, there is no way you could ever be this much of a prude. It's a fucking television show! How are you ever able to shit with how tight your asshole is wound?" He yelled.

"FUCK YOU!" I spit.

I gasped, instantly realizing what I just said. I slapped my hand over my mouth. Edward stood back and, suddenly, all the tension in his body left. His face turned from anger into a slow smile.

"Welll, well, well…Miss Swan. With a mouth that dirty, maybe you have known the touch of a man before."

I was utterly embarrassed and immediately disappointed in myself. I shook my head, confused by my behavior, and turned swiftly to run toward my bedroom. I had officially lost it. I don't use profanity. How did he manage to do this to me? Get me so worked up that I completely lost my mind.

My thoughts search for the trigger to our newest argument and the scene from the television screen fills my head. I try to shake the dirty thoughts from my mind, but the more I try to do so, the more they become ingrained. The images are practically feasting on my brain until the actors are replaced with images of us. Edward and me, us!

"AHHH!" I groan as quietly as possible. I continue my vicious pacing about my room, but am halted to a stop as my door opens. Edward appears and gives a slight grimace.

"What is the matter with you?" I exclaimed. "Do you have no understanding that a door closed is the international sign for leave me alone."

He looks as if he is weighing out a response but shrugs and replies, "Don't you mean, leave me the fuck alone?"

"UGH!" I want to jump on him like a ravaged beast and scratch his eyes out but, instead, I settle for using all my strength to push him out the door. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

Edward doesn't move and, even though I am using all my strength, he doesn't budge. "Will you give me a minute? I came to apologize."

I momentarily cease my fruitless pushing. I pull back and fold my arms across my chest and let out a slow indignant sigh.

"I…apologize." He says after a couple of beats.

"For?" I give him the raise of my eyebrow.

He sighed, looking around the room, searching for the answer.

"If you don't know what you did, then your apology is unaccepted."

"Would you not get your panties in such a twist and give me a minute. I really don't even know what I did wrong other than having the volume at an acceptable level. I guess I apologize for trying to have a good time around you. I guess I apologize for going out and picking out a show that apparently you're not old enough to watch yet…"

"That is not what this is about!" I interrupted.

"Oh please, then tell me what this is about. You've been acting weird the whole night and then you go all crazy after seeing a little bit of skin. What are you so afraid of?" He grabs a hold of me, his hands grasping my upper arms. "Bella, you are not a child. You are a mature and beautiful woman who should open her eyes and see what the world has to offer her. You deserve to see beauty and…"

"Beauty! That wasn't beautiful. It was porn, brother and sister porn from what I worked out. Is that what you want to watch? Brother and sister porn?"

"That was one story line!" He defended. "Are you worried that it's going to give me ideas about you, little sister?"

"You are not my brother!" I snapped, outraged.

He released my arms and stepped back with a small smile.

"What?" I asked.

He slowly shook his head.

"WHAT!"

"Uh…nothing." His little secret plays on his lips, but he decides to keep it to himself and it throws my mind into overdrive.

"You have a good night, Bella. I promise…I will try harder tomorrow."

"Try harder at what?" I asked, frustrated that he still won't tell me what he is thinking.

"I wish you a good night my fair maiden." He is at the door and turns back to me once more. "Please don't give up on Game of Thrones. You have no idea…" He shakes his head and stops himself. "Just remember you are a beautiful and mature woman who can handle a little skin."

Edward closes the door and I am left there even worse off than before. What the heck just happened? I try and replay the argument in my head. You are not my brother! You are not my brother! I repeat. He said, are you worried it's going to give me ideas about you, little sister.

Oh!

Oh no!

I completely overreacted to the wrong part of his sentence. Oh no! Oh no! Now, Edward is going to think I like him.

I nibble on my lip while I think of all the ramifications of the evening. Well, I will just tell him that I don't like him. I will never like him. I don't think of him like that. I don't think of him like that with me. With me…slamming into me from behind.

OH NO!

Damn you Game of Thrones!

I switch from nibbling on my lip to full blown tearing off the tips of my fingernails, a habit that I rid myself of five years ago. I look over toward my mirror and see the improvements that I had made earlier.

You are a mature and beautiful woman, Bella. I am not a child. I am a beautiful and mature woman. I am not a prude! I am not a prude! I can watch porn. I can watch mountains and mountains of porn if I wanted to. Well, not mountains maybe. Edward didn't need to talk down to me. Immaculate conception! HA! I've had sex. I have mountains and mountains of sex! Well not mountains…but it was good. James and I may not have done it in the fashion of the blonde one and her brother, but we weren't just having sex, we were making love. That's right! We were making love, and when two people love each other, they don't need any kind of weird monkey sex.

I charge out my door, my self-empowerment fueling me to get to Edward. I am going to explain to him what real love making is all about. I am not a prude! I skid to a halt, seeing the television now dark and quiet. My eyes look around the room slowly as they land on the remote.

Don't do it! You don't need to prove anything.

I shut out the tiny person in the back of my head and snatch up the remote. It takes me a minute to figure out how to work it properly, but I am back to where I left off in no time. Let's just see what kind of games these thrones want to play.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I just got back from vacation so sorry for the long delay. Unfortunately, this is my busy time of year at work and with the added bonus of taxes, it may be longer between updates. As of right now I am toying with the idea of finishing one story before going back to other.

Thank you to my beta, **Robstenvampgirl!** She worked her butt off to get this back to me quickly so I could get it to you!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.


	11. Chapter 11

**Edward's POV **

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling and going over Bella's and my latest argument. Never in my life had I met someone who was so exhausting. She never left any room for error. She expected the world to run the way she believed it should and what pissed me off the most was that even after all her annoying habits and edicts, she was wrapped all up in this hot tempting package. There was no denying her beauty even if she didn't take care of herself as most women do.

Going on that date should have cured me for life from her and yet now that we were stuck out in the middle of Podunk, USA; every single day I was finding it harder and harder to be around her. Bella was becoming attractive to me on some other level I hadn't considered in so long. None of this would ever be a problem since Bella looked at me like I was some spawn of Satan but after tonight I was left with questions. Was it possible that Bella was attracted to me too?

I heard a sound coming from the den just outside my room and before I know it I find myself peeking through the crack in my door to find Bella sitting on the couch with the remote in her had. I want to go out there but something tells me that I should leave her be. I hear the famous music start up from Game of Thrones and my jaw drops at the knowledge that Bella was going to watch the show. When I had purchased the DVD earlier that day, I half did so as a joke. I couldn't wait to see the look on Bella's face when she saw certain scenes play out but I had expected her to scurry off after the first sex scene and join a convent.

I watched as she lay down on the couch causing her face to be completely out of my view. Now I was being the creepy peeper trying to watch her as the show played on. I wrestled with myself for a half hour before returning to bed and stopping myself from joining. Eventually I was able to fall asleep but around three in the morning, I woke up and couldn't believe that I could still hear sounds coming from the den. Was she really still out there watching?

A part of me wanted to laugh because I couldn't believe that she had made it through so many episodes but then something dawned on me. If she had been hostile towards me before, what was she going to be like when she hadn't slept enough? I groan internally at the fights we would share tomorrow and want to demand her to go up to bed this instant but I don't because then that would just turn into another fight. So instead, I turn over and go back to sleep.

It was almost seven when I woke up with the sudden need to drain my dragon. I walk out of my room and see Bella still lying on the couch with her mouth wide open as drool dropped down onto the throw pillow. I try my hardest to not disturb her as I prepare myself for the day. I have about thirty minutes before Mini-Bella comes racing down the stairs ready for breakfast. I had only known Maisey for a handful of days but already I managed to get down her routine. Moo Moo. I only called her that to piss off Bella but it stuck because Maisey seemed to like it. Poor kid never had a father so who was I to not give in to her every want and need.

Mini-Bella.

She looked just like her mother but without all the frown lines etched into her face. I could almost see what Bella must have looked like before tragedy struck her life and she was forced to depend on her rules and structure in order to make it through the day. But Mini-Bella had not been tarnished yet and a part of me wanted to keep her that way so if that meant I had to play "father," I would.

"Mommy, are you sick?" I heard a faint whisper come from the den so I spit my mouth wash quickly into the sink to try and head off the little monster. Damn, she was early this morning.

"Shhh, let's not wake her, Moo Moo," I said quietly approaching her.

"Is she sick?"

"Uh…yes and no. She came down with a wicked case of…of.…bingeivitis. But don't worry after a nice long nap, she will be good as new and ready to binge once again." I joked but it only caused Mini-Bella a look of concern.

Silence.

"Uncle Edward…what's binge…" She tries to say but is interrupted by Bella making some horrible groaning noise. I pull Maisey back with me as we cringe upon seeing the mess that is Bella slowly emerge.

"Mommy! You're awake! Uncle Edward said you were sick with gingivitis." Moo Moo said happily.

"Bingeivitis. I never said anything against your teeth." I quickly correct before it causes Bella to go into another freak out.

She slowly nods her head and rubs her eyes, still extremely exhausted. But slowly she manages to pull herself off the couch while wiping off the corner of her mouth where the pool of drool slide down. I see her toss the drooled pillow to the other side to try and hide her embarrassment.

"So…how far did you get?" I asked trying to change the subject subtly.

She flops down into the kitchen chair and points silently toward the coffee maker.

"Maybe coffee isn't the best thing for you right now," I try to say.

"What are you talking about? I was up until five this morning watching your stupid show. I cannot function on two hours of sleep without some form of recreational drugs. Besides aren't you leaving soon for the big city?" She snapped.

I quickly realize that this is going to be one of those kinds of days. I rush towards the coffee maker and begin making some coffee before she turns into a full-fledged beast. Mini-Bella had already found her early morning cartoons, so we were no longer of importance which was probably best when dealing with a cranky mommy. The coffee takes its time and I can see Bella trying her hardest to not fall back to sleep on our dining table.

"I think maybe I should stay here today. I mean you look like crap and probably could use a few hours of sleep. I can watch Moo Moo," I offered.

She shook her head, "No, you need to go. We need those credentials or whatever so we can apply for jobs. Your little penny stash won't last long especially if you continue to buy expensive flat screens and DVD box sets."

She has a point but I don't feel comfortable leaving her and Mini-Bella all alone especially when Bella isn't up to her full self. I try to throw a few ideas around in my head while the coffee finishes. I could take them both with me. Bella could sleep the whole way there and back. I could take the kid but I doubt Bella would go along with that.

"What is your problem?"

I turn at the sound of her grumpy voice and am thankful that the coffee is done. The sooner I have her caffeinated the better.

"I just really don't feel comfortable leaving you guys here today. You haven't had any sleep and Moo Moo can be a handful…"

"I know what my kid can be. I can handle her on my own. I have been doing so, long before you ever came into…"

I put my hand up to cover her mouth before another wretched thing comes out.

"I never said you weren't capable. I just don't feel comfortable leaving you when you aren't at your level best. Just because we are hiding out here and no one knows where we are, doesn't mean that we can afford to be anything less than vigilant. People don't make good judgement calls when they are exhausted. One of us should be prime at all times. I will go into town tomorrow when I feel you are capable of being alert. Now for the love of god, please go upstairs and take a hot bath or whatever you need to do to go back to sleep. I can barely deal with you when you're normal let alone like this."

I wave my hand at her and see a flash of something boiling behind her eyes but it's only a flash and suddenly a fog comes over her eyes and she is up and out of the chair before I know it. She abandons the coffee after only a sip and I silently thank the lord that she isn't being more difficult.

I don't see her for nearly five hours. In that time I made breakfast and just begin on lunch when I hear her soft steps creeping down the creaking staircase. Mini-Bella had been outside running around her tree for the past hour which is pretty amazing seeing how hot and disgusting it was outside. When I call her to come in for lunch, she is practically a sweaty rag of a child.

"My goodness. Someone needs a bath," Bella says to her.

"But it's too early for a bath. I have a lot to do today," She protests.

I hand each of them a plate with a BLT sandwich before sitting down to join the conversation.

"What are the big plans for today?" I asked.

Through a mouth full of sandwich, Mini-Bella begins to tell me all about her plans she wants to draw up to make her tree house. The tree looks to have a steady foundation with a lot of strong branches so I imagine it wouldn't be hard to bring her wish into reality but somehow I don't see Bella being on board with allowing her child to go up any higher than the ground.

"I want it to have a kitchen with real running water so I won't have to come down and a bean bag chair I can sit in. A spy glass so I can see far away and walkie talkies so I can tell you when the bad people come. An easy bake oven…"

Both Bella and I who had been half listening to her Barbie dream tree house look up at her and our eyes meet.

"What do you mean bad people?" Bella asks.

Mini-Bella scrunches up her nose and wipes her eye before answering.

"You and Uncle Edward said that there we were hiding. Why would we be hiding unless there was some bad man trying to get us?"

I rack my brain for a time that she would have overheard us but it's hard to tell because Bella and my conversations had a tendency to grow loud. She could have heard any number of things. It was almost a blessing that she wasn't older because she would be able to put two and two together but even at five years old, she still managed to work out something we didn't want her to know.

"Oh…baby, you don't have to be scared. We…aren't hiding…" Bella begins to lie. "…from any bad man. We came out here because your Uncle Edward thought you would like this area. It's…cleaner and there's…more to do for a girl your age."

Man, was she a horrible liar. Not only was she lying about the bad man and the hiding but now she was trying to convince her daughter that Dix had more to do than New York?

"Moo Moo," I begin to take over for Bella. "The truth is that we don't know what our future holds which means that we should always be aware of strangers. If you don't know someone, you should always ask me or your mom about them before talking to them. There are bad people out there in the world which is why you always need to be careful but I promise you, I will never let them hurt you. I will make sure that you and your mom are always safe."

I could see Bella cringe at some of the things I said. I'm sure she wanted Maisey to be kept in a world of snowflakes and kittens but she needed to know that danger was always a possibility. It was better to educate her then to try and cover it up.

"So…why don't you get these plans together and draw up the dream tree house you want me to build." I quickly tried to change the conversation before it turned dark and scary.

Mini-Bella was done with her sandwich so she quickly got up from the table to run up the stairs to grab her crayons.

"Oh my god. What are we going to do?" Bella asked the minute Maisey was out of sight.

"Calm down. You have to stay calm or it will just make her nervous or scared. There is nothing to do but to tell her to be aware of strangers. The Santini family will never come here so stop with all your worrying and think about Fred."

"Fred?" She asked confused.

"The tree. Your daughter wants me to put a tree house on Fred. I imagine that will bring you more worry in the long run…"

"You're not putting a tree house on Fred. It's not safe and you're not exactly an engineer to know enough about making the tree safe enough to climb in. One thing breaks apart and she'll fall straight to her death."

I roll my eyes at her and go to grab the dirty empty dishes from the table.

"I know a lot more about construction than you may think. I would never make her something that she could harm herself in. The house will be safe…"

"I said no!" She snapped.

I balled my hands into fists and refused to look at her. Once again I could feel my anger bubbling up. Fight number one-hundred and sixty-five. I drop the plates into the sink and slam my hand down on the counter. I grab the car keys and my jacket.

"Fine. You tell her that her dream tree house isn't happening." I spit and take off without ever looking at her.

I want to yell. I want to punch something. I want to fight someone. I had all this pent up anger and aggression from just living with the damn woman and nowhere to let it out. I jump into the truck and am down the driveway without another thought. I head towards town and the bar hoping for some sort of release.

Rusty's doesn't look like much from the outside but it had alcohol so already it was turning into my favorite place. I realized how it must look that I'm entering the town bar at one in the afternoon but at the moment I didn't care. However, when I entered, there were a lot more people in there than I was expecting.

"Edward!" Emmett called after me.

"Uh…hey." I answered uneasily. "I can't believe there are this many people here at this time of day. I was sure I would look like an alcoholic for coming here so early."

"Awe, are you kidding? Of course not. We all like to come here during the day because its damn near the only place that has air conditioning. The women have the salon, we get the bar." He explained.

I nod my head and "belly up to the bar." I had only been to Rusty's one other time and that was also when Bella and I were fighting. The woman sure knew how to drive a man to drink. However, I never got a drink in my hand before Emmett pulled me along on his shopping expedition in the big city.

"Jasper, you should meet Edward Kerns. He just moved here with his sister."

I put my hand out for him to shake and he has a strong grip. I would normally say that Jasper looked about as friendly as a bear trap from his appearance but he seemed to lighten up a little.

"Heard you served." Jasper said.

"I did two tours. Army." I replied. It wasn't a complete lie but I didn't need him knowing how far up I went.

"Good man! First drinks on me. What can I get you?"

And after that I guess I was accepted by Jasper. I had my glass of whiskey in my hand before Emmett started pressing on what was going on in my life.

"You could tell. I look that bad?" I asked.

"Well…I've seen that look before. I think we've all been there before," Emmett replied.

"It's…Bella. She's…incredibly difficult to live with. I thought that moving here would be easier. We haven't spent a lot of time with one another over the years but it's like living with a complete stranger. She's…always right and never gives an inch. She acts like I'm the vermin of the earth because I want to make her daughter happy. I don't how I can survive staying with her for much longer. Every day there is another problem. Another fight and every time it happens I get closer and closer to just wanting to walk away."

I would never walk away but man did I want to. I would never leave Maisey unprotected.

Emmett starts laughing.

"Man, you sound like an old married couple."

Jasper joins in the laughter and I down the rest of my drink.

"You know what you need?" Emmett asked.

I sighed and almost regretted asking.

"What?"

"You need to get laid."

Tell me about it! But I nearly choke on my own saliva that he would say such a thing. I never expected guys like this to talk like that. I guess I thought that people in Podunk towns were a bit more homely and religious.

"Geez!" I complained loudly which just caused him and Jasper to laugh some more.

"Seriously how long has it been? A man like you can get wound pretty tight if he isn't getting any. Ditch the sister for the night and go into the big city. There are lots of women there. Loose women if you catch my meaning."

Of course I caught his meaning and part of me wanted nothing more than to do just that but I couldn't do that. I needed to keep my head in the game. I needed to stay focused on our safety so I lied.

"I don't think that's my game. Call me old fashioned but I'm looking for something more serious. I want a long term…commitment."

I can barely get the word out of my mouth. Never had I played a character so well and that's what Edward Kerns was; he was just a character.

"There's plenty of time for that later. Take it from me; you don't want to be tied down before you've had a chance to explore all your options," Emmett said.

"Look who's talking. Em, you never dated anyone other than Rosie," Jasper added.

"Exactly! Dude should plow more fields. Pluck more chickens. Husk more corn."

And then people wonder how stereotypes get started. I hold up my hand trying to end their conversation on my life.

"Look, I really appreciate the advice but I think I will stick to looking for someone…special."

Man, if Michael could see me now. He would never believe what vag I had become.

"Sure. We understand. No problem. In fact…maybe you should try Tanya. I hear she's single and ready to mingle…again." Emmett can barely contain himself.

"Tanya?"

"Yeah…Tanya." Jasper smirked.

"Why am I suddenly scared?" I asked.

Both Emmett and Jasper shrug and act like they didn't mean anything by the inflection in their voices. I shake my head and note to keep an eye out for Tanya. I don't know who she is but I think I would like to stay the hell away from her.

It was nearly three in the afternoon when I decided to make the long trip to call in to Agent Black. It was completely stupid of me to go at this hour because it would take me two hours to get to Fort Collins and then two hours to get back. I decided to not go all the way to Denver but near it. The four hour ride would have me back around seven or eight. At least that was the plan until the stupid truck tire got a flat in the middle of nowhere and I was left waiting on the side of the road until a passersby could rescue me.

With no spare or cell, I waited there for hours and all I could think was how Bella was going to skin me alive.

* * *

**AN: **I know. I know. Long time no update. Sorry about that but I was finding it hard to find inspiration which is one of the reasons I switched to Edward's POV. I didn't know how I was going to finish this story if I continued in Bella's POV because most of the second part has to do with Edward. I will try and update regularly but unfortunately due to health problems in my family, it may be harder. I am trying to finish this story as well as The Governess by November since I have no idea how much time I will have after I have my baby.

Hope you liked it! Look forward to hearing what you have to say and thank you for taking the time to read.

Disclaimer: Story is mine, characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

The truck bumped down the road with a less than average replacement. I was lucky that I was able to find anyone who could fix the tire at that time of night even if it was with a spare. Tomorrow I would go into the city and make sure all four tires were up to par. I guess it was a good thing that this happened when it was just me in the car. Something like that could have scared Mini-Bella and lord knows I can't imagine the cackling that would come from Life-sized Bella if this had happened when she was in the car.

I see that all the lights in the house were still on and I am instantly nervous because I hope that Bella hadn't kept Maisey up with her worrying and anger. I just manage to make it to the drive way when I see the screen door launch open and Bella's silhouette standing there in the frame of the door.

I pull up and slowly get out waiting for the shit pile of yelling that is about to ensue but instead Bella walks down the steps with her hand over her chest. She is in front of me sooner than I would have liked but instead of screaming at me like some kind of banshee, she flings her arms around my neck and begins to cry. I can feel her racked sobs as I take her in my arms and almost can't believe what is happening.

"Bella," I said softly. "I'm sorry."

I want to explain myself but at that moment I almost more interested in her explaining herself.

She pulls back from me with her face an utter mess and then it comes.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!" She started screaming. "Where were you? I thought something happened. I thought you were found and it was only a matter of time before they came here looking for us. I sent Maisey off with practical strangers because I thought maybe they would spare her life."

She begins pounding her fists on my chest trying to release some of her anger out but I easily grab a hold of her hands to stop her.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I had a flat tire and I was stuck in the middle of nowhere waiting for someone to come across me."

I quickly start explaining hoping she will see that this isn't my fault. But I know her now and it's only a matter of time before she tells me once again how she wants another agent. It was always her go to.

"You should have called. Obviously when you were getting your tire fixed you could…have…at…." She is overwhelmed by emotions and can barely get her words out. She looks like she is about to hyperventilate. I pull her over to the porch and help her sit down where she places her head between her legs.

"Who was I going to call, Bella? We don't have a phone and I don't know anyone's phone number here. I know that this was a messed up situation but I couldn't do anything until I was back here. I'm sorry I freaked you out. We will find a way to get in touch with one another….but I can't change anything right now so please don't threaten me with a change of agents right now. They moved up the trial so that we could testify soon…"

"You got a hold of Agent Black?" Her head pops up and she manages to become serious.

I sit down next to her on the porch stairs and sighed. It was probably a good thing Maisey wasn't there so I could talk to her freely without the worry of little ears.

"Yes. I got a hold of him. After I left you, I went to the bar to hang out for a while and then decided that I could make it to Fort Collins and back before dinner."

"You didn't go to Denver?"

I shook my head. "I didn't need to go that far. As long as I stay in Colorado, I think if anyone becomes the wiser, it will still put enough distance from us and there. Anyway…what's important is that they moved up the trial date so we could be getting out of here in a month or so."

I see all the worries in the world begin to fade from Bella's face and for the first time she looks joyful.

"We could be home by Christmas. We could be out of here before the New Year. Oh thank god! I don't think I could deal with watching the corn husk drop at midnight. We can go home. Maisey and I can go back to normal…"

I hear her musings and I almost don't want to bring her into reality. She thinks she can go back to New York but the truth is that she can never go back there. I should tell her, right? But then she would become depressed and I can't deal with that so I just smile. A coward through and through.

"So on a happier note. I have everything we need for set up for applying for jobs tomorrow. Even though this day started out pretty crappy, we managed to find a silver lining, right?"

Bella bites down on her lip and even though she still has the glow of hope shining down on her face I can tell that she wants to say something difficult.

"Yeah…about earlier…." She begins and I wonder where she plans on going with it. "I'm sorry that I was being…overprotective. Maybe we can come up with some sort of compromise that won't put my child in danger."

I rolled my eyes at her halfhearted attempt at apologizing and shook my head.

"Sure, Bella…whatever."

I can see her bristle at my tone.

"Well, you don't need to be a jerk about it. I said I was sorry," She snapped.

I hold up my hands and pull myself off the porch.

"I'm not fighting with you anymore today, Bella. I can't. I am so tired and I've had a rough day so I'm going to go and have a beer and if you want to continue to find things to scream at me for, please go and do it in your room."

I leave her on the porch and go to the fridge and grab a couple bottles of Corona. I know I shouldn't drink more than one but after the day I had, I wanted a backup. I walk back out and see Bella still sitting in the same place on the porch step. She doesn't appear to be angry but I can never tell until she opens her mouth or looks up at me with fiery eyes. I set the bottles down with a clang and flop into the chair on the porch. She looks back at me and pushes up from the stairs.

She walks over and grabs my back up.

"Thank you," She said softly.

I want to tell her that I didn't bring it for her but watching Bella open a beer and take a swig was one of the hottest things I have ever seen. She seemed too proper to want to drink beer or drink anything out of a bottle for that fact. She sits down in the chair to the left of me and for a long amazing couple of minutes there is nothing but silence.

"Oh wow! Did you see that?" She exclaims.

It was a shooting star and a bright one.

"Yeah…it's amazing what you can see out here," I replied. "Reminds me of a story my mom used to tell me."

The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I'm saying.

"Oh…what's it about?"

"It's nothing. It's stupid. Forget it." The last thing I want to do is to tell this girl a love story that my mom used to tell me when I was little. It was a story I always loved and I wasn't going to be able to handle someone like her crapping all over it.

"Come on. Tell me," She tried.

"No. It's personal. Just drink your beer and forget I said anything."

I see her work something through her mind. She squishes her lips together trying to figure out what to say to get me to spill.

"I…will give you a freebee," She offered.

My eyes bug out of my head and I nearly choke on my beer.

"Ew! Gross. Not like that," She laughed. "I mean that the next time we have a disagreement…I will let you win."

I sat back in my chair and pondered that. This could be way better than what I had originally envisioned.

"Really? You will just give in no matter what we are arguing about."

This could come in handy.

She sighed loudly and nodded.

"Well…Miss Sw…Kerns, you have yourself a deal." I put my hand out and she shakes it.

I run the story through my head. It's been a really long time since I even thought about it so I want to make sure that I remember it before I begin.

"Not getting any younger over here," Bella quipped.

"I know. I'm just trying to remember where to start. My mom told me this story when I was really young and it's not something I've thought about in a really long time. We don't see many shooting stars in New York City."

I take another swig from my beer and begin.

"Okay…so a really long time ago, there was this man and he loved this woman more than anything in the world but as fate would have it, he died suddenly one afternoon. He was a decent man but for some reason he was sent to hell."

"Geez, your mom told you this story?" Bella interrupted.

"Yes, and if you interrupt again, I won't finish it."

She quieted down probably judging my mother for telling a young boy about something scary like hell.

"For the man it seemed like an eternity down in hell. Every day was the same and everyday all he thought about was the woman he left behind and his love for her. He knew she was too good and too pure to ever end up in a place like hell so he was tormented with the idea of never seeing her face again. He was miserable as one would be when they are in hell. There were people around him and they didn't seem nearly as tormented as he was but he never paid any one any attention. He would think about how all he wanted was for one more chance to see his love's face. To hear her voice. To tell her how much he loved her. However, he knew if his request was granted, that would mean that she was sentenced to hell and he couldn't wish for that."

I took a sip from my beer and notice Bella's trained eyes on me, drinking in every word I said.

"But…one day, he had his wish granted. The keeper of the gates tells him that he has an opportunity to return and see his love but once he decides to leave, he can never come back again. Seems like a good trade off. He trades in hell and gets to be reunited with love. The man jumps at the chance to return and so he does. He comes back to earth and finds the woman but before he can be reunited he is visited once more by the keeper of the gates and this is what the keeper tells him. He says, "you thought you were in hell but you were in heaven. You traded in heaven for this woman and now as you promised, you can never return. I hope you realize what the decision you just made. Like a star that shines bright and falls, it too can never return to where it once was." The man lets these valuable words set in but offers the keeper a reply in return. He tells the keeper, "I do understand the weight of my decision but any place where she is not, is hell I may have been in heaven but without love, you're only in hell." The keeper sighed and then left him with this final note; "Just remember that your lives on earth are a mere moment in time. She will die too someday and be allowed entrance to heaven but you who traded in a few years will spend eternity outside the gates." I guess the moral of the story was…be patient. Good things come to those who wait."

"That is a horrible story to tell a child. How depressing. I mean was there no hope at all for these two? His only crime was that he loved someone so much and wanted to be with her. How could he ever be kept away from her for all eternity just because he loved her?"

Bella looked like she was spiraling out of control and I must admit, I was having a little too much fun watching her work herself into a frenzy over a stupid story. I was kind of glad I never finished it for her because this was far more entertaining.

"It's just a silly story, Bella. Don't get your chastity belt in a twist," I laughed.

"Ugh!" She replied disgusted. "I'm going to bed and I better not have nightmares of hell and poorly constructed stories."

She was out of her chair, beer bottle and all before I could even begin to laugh. But I did laugh and continued to do so all the way until I could hear her door slam.

As always, Bella calmed down and came to her senses the next day. Of course she had to find something to blame her outburst on. Bella was never responsible for her actions. For her, there was always someone or something she could pass the blame off to. The night I told her the love story, she blamed her behavior on the beer she drank. She promised me in the future she would not be so careless with her alcohol intake. In my mind I rolled my eyes at her but I wouldn't dare do it to her face or else that may set off a whole other argument and I wasn't about to use my "freebee" on something so silly.

Bella went with me to the school the next day to apply for the opening positions. I had no problem accepting the gym teacher position which meant that I would take each grade out of the classroom for forty minutes a day to teach them how to play various sports. My position seemed like a breeze however, the "drama" teacher that Bella was informed that they needed was a tad different. She was already not too sure about teaching drama to children but when we arrived, the principal told her that it was much more than just drama. Bella would be responsible for all the creative arts programs including band.

The principal tried to explain that most of these kids had never picked up an instrument in their lives so she needn't worry about having too much knowledge on the subject but I could see it there in Bella's eyes, that sudden worry and self-consciousness.

"Is it really bad to call out sick on your first day of a new job?"

Mini-Bella was already downstairs, dressed and done with breakfast with still no sign of her mother. I finally gathered the courage to go up the stairs and seek her out myself, finding her in the bathroom standing over the sink and looking like she had already hurled.

I grabbed her and turned her around to face me.

"You can do this, Bella."

"No, I can't! I don't know the first thing about teaching children. I teach dance for a living and mostly its adults or very serious adolescents who want to make dance their career and don't even get me started on band! BAND! I don't play instruments. I am not trained for this. I will get found out! They will realize my credentials are phony and our whole cover will be blown!"

I begin hushing her loudly afraid of what little ears might hear.

"Bella! Calm down. You are not Bella Swan anymore. You are Bella Kerns and Bella Kerns knows how to teach children dance, drama and band. Bella Kerns is an amazing accomplished young woman. You are playing a character. That is all. Stop freaking out!"

She slows her breathing until she huffs.

"I am Bella Kerns. I am Bella Kerns," She quietly repeats to herself.

"Bella Kerns is badass. Bella Kerns knows all and can do all," I said trying to champion her on.

"I'm just playing a character."

"That's right," I agreed.

"I've tried playing a character before and it didn't go so well when I went to that hen party. I told stupid stories that were far-fetched. What happens if I do that again?" She asked.

I sighed and let go of her shoulders.

"You will think about every word before it comes out of your mouth. You don't always have to answer questions so quickly. Think about your response before you say it. Don't allow nerves to pull you down into a make believe world. Stay away from cartoons and Broadway shows and you should be fine."

We hear a strong tapping from behind us and Mini-Bella is standing there with her arms folded across her chest.

"Are you done yet? I'm going to be late," Mini-Bella insists.

"Yes, Moo Moo. Go get your things. We are right behind you."

I give Bella a strong look before following Maisey down the steps. I can hear Bella's soft steps behind me and I pass her a plate of toast on our way to the truck. The school isn't even five minutes away and I can see Bella stuffing the toast into her mouth and trying to finish it as we pull into a parking space.

I have been in situations like these before. Having to lie to everyone you meet for the sake of security but I've never had to do it while watching a small child go through the same motions. I watch Mini-Bella get out of the car with her Monster High backpack and it seems so wrong what we are about to do. Never once has my conscious attacked me like it has now. It's never been a problem for me to lie but watching someone so innocent lie because we fed her the lies is harder for some reason.

"Uncle Edward. Are you okay?" Her little face looks up at me with worry.

"Of course! I just can't believe how big you are. I don't have classes today so if you want me to stay with you…" I begin to offer.

I see her face scrunch up before she begins to protest. "It's okay, Uncle Edward. I'm a big girl. I don't need a baby sitter."

I see Bella crack a smile for the first time today and even though I am a tad hurt, I try and play it off.

"Oh well…of course you are. How silly of me. I wasn't trying to baby sit. I just thought I would be bored and your class seems more interesting than my day…"

"Uh…coach, maybe you should try removing your foot from your mouth later and let us get to class," Bella said.

She takes Maisey by the hand and gives me a smirk before turning and going toward the entrance of the school. I follow along after feeling slightly embarrassed. Since there was no P. E. scheduled for the first day, I decide to spend my day looking over the grounds. I leave Bella at Maisey's classroom and head to the main office.

The whole school isn't very big but it's all indoors probably due to tornadoes. It has a very simple layout and I am able to find my way around easily. I walk into the main office and see a gaggle of teachers running around making last minute preps.

"Mr. Kerns. Mr. Kerns. I'll be with you one moment."

I see an older woman trying to get my attention and at the mention of my name, people turn to look at me. I offer up a shy wave and go and sit down in the waiting chairs. I look around at the various offices and take note of the people I see. There is a door off to the right and suddenly a woman appears in the door frame. She is taller with legs for days and hair so big I almost can't believe she can fit in the doorway without having to crouch.

"Edward Kerns."

She says my name and I look around wondering how she knows me. She slowly walks forward so I get up out of the chair not wanting to be impolite.

"Yes," I replied.

"You and I are going to be getting to see a lot of one another this year." She looks over the desk to the woman who asked me to wait and taps on the top of the desk to get her attention.

"Karen, give me the packet for Edward. I'll give him the tour."

I see Karen looking irritated at the interaction.

"That's not your job, Tanya. The school nurse doesn't need to show new teachers to their rooms."

My heart drops when I hear the name, Tanya. Was this the Tanya that Jasper and Emmett were howling about at the bar? I suddenly feel my mouth go dry because this was exactly the type of woman that I would have been interested in when I was in New York. Legs for days and hair I could pull during climax. I feel my dick begin to strain and I can't believe how juvenile my body is acting. It's a true testament to how long I have had to go without proper under the hood maintenance.

But I don't want to bang this woman. She looked more than willing but I couldn't allow any distractions while I was working. I had a mission and lives depended on my competency. Strawberry blond had to go.

I hear the two ladies arguing while I have my inner pep talk. I feel a hand on my shoulder and nearly huff at the irritation I feel that another woman has probably shown up to fight over me as well. But when I turn, it's Bella.

"What seems to be the hold up?" She asked.

"Uh…well…they don't know who's going to show me to my office. You?"

She rolls her eyes probably overhearing the two ladies going at it and turns to face me.

"Well well Mr. Single and Popular. Looks like you can have your pick of the fish tank here. Just think if we had never left the big city, you might not have all this waiting and willing attention," she teased.

"I don't want my pick of the fish tank. I just want the keys to my office," I replied irritated.

"Don't be like that big brother. Think of the prospects. On one hand you have trashy and on the other you have…." She cringes. "…experienced? However, I'd be careful with experienced. At her age, she might break a hip."

Bella was having too much fun at my expense.

"Just you wait my single sister. Surely someone in this town will accept your dowry so I can finally be rid of you."

Bella laughed.

"Thanks but no thanks. I think that ship sailed. No one wants a used up woman with baggage. I am perfectly fine with being a spinster."

This was probably the best conversation Bella and I ever had. We were able to joke and go more than five minutes without breaking into an argument.

"Sorry Edward, it will be just one more moment. Karen can be soo obsessed with her job description but I would be happy to show you around myself. I'm Tanya by the way. Tanya Burns."

I feel like her last name is some kind of warning and looking at Bella I can see she thinks the same thing.

"Nice to meet you." I take her hand and then turn toward Bella. "This is my sister, Bella. She's the new creative arts teacher."

"Are you going to show me around too, Tanya?" Bella asked a little too cheerfully.

"Uh…well, creative arts is in a different part of the building so I'm sure Karen can take you," Tanya replied.

"I don't mind the detour. Why don't we go by Edward's office first and you can take me to my classroom after," Bella offered.

I couldn't believe that she was willing to save me from Tanya but then it occurs to me that maybe I should wonder why Bella was trying to save me from Tanya.

"That sounds great!" I added leaving Tanya no room for disagreement.

Tanya looks crestfallen for a second but like a pro, she picks right up and goes with it.

"Sure! I would love to get to know you Bella. I mean who else knows your brother better than you. You can give me all the dirty little details," Tanya sings.

She walks out in front of us grabbing the welcomed packets off of Karen's desk. We begin to walk down the halls which are bare since class had begun.

"So, I hear you're from Chicago," Tanya begins with her interrogation.

"Yeah…how did you know that?" Bella asked.

"Oh…well, everyone knows everything about everyone here. Small town life." She winked at me and I give her a big closed lip smile.

"That's…comforting." Bella replied. "Guess I don't have to give you all the dirty little details after all."

Tanya slows down and takes my arm and begins to swing off it like a gesture someone might do if they were together.

"Oh…I don't know everything but maybe I can get this shy guy here to open up over dinner sometime."

I never thought of myself as shy but just the thought of going to dinner with this woman makes me want to keep my mouth shut in case I throw up down the hallway.

"Sure! I'm sure my brother would love a chance to get out of the house. He's been a shut in practically since we arrived. It might be nice to have a night out for once."

And just like that, Bella turned on me. My eyes snap to hers and I can see the merriment behind them at my suffering. There have been many times before that I had seen nothing but fire behind those eyes but for the first time, it's my turn to return the fire.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I shouldn't date my coworkers. I'm sure there's some…rule prohibiting it," I attempted to say.

"Of course not! In a town this small? Why we never be able to keep our population up if we weren't allowed to fraternize with our fellows." Tanya squeezes my arm a little harder and gives me a toothy grin.

"You'll have to be gentle with this one, Tanya. My brother hasn't fraternized in soo long. If you know what I mean. Maybe you guys should take it slow." Bella is practically red and ready to burst at her little game.

"Why of course I will, Bella. I am a lady after all. Why don't we start off at the diner and share a milk shake. I can tell you all about our little town here. I may not have lived here the longest but I certainly know the most."

She is looking up at me and waiting for my approval. I want to say no but this is exactly what I have been trying to tell Bella about making friends and fitting in. It's just a diner so what's the worst that could happen? We go and have dessert and then she goes her way and I go mine.

"Sure. I would appreciate that some time." I can't believe that I'm not even cringing as I say the words. I feel like I just agreed to take a person's place on death row.

We hear a page over the loud speaker requesting Nurse Tanya back in her office. I am relieved and can't wait for the opportunity to speak to Bella privately.

"Oh drat! Well wait here; it's probably just a bloody nose from some overanxious tot."

Tanya excuses herself and the second she is out of sight I turn on Bella.

"What the hell was that?"

Bella doubles over in laughter. She jumps up and clings to my arm.

"Oh Edward, I just want to know every itty bitty thing about ya, honey." She mocks in her best twang.

"That's not funny! You knew how uncomfortable I was so why would you egg her on," I snapped.

"Come on. I did you a solid, brother. I know a guy like you has…needs. I don't need you getting cranky because the decline of your…physical life. Just make sure you do it far away from the house….and truck. Please don't sully the truck my daughter sits in to go to school."

She shivers at the thought and I shake her off me.

"I don't have any…needs that require fulfillment at the moment. Please stay out of my personal. This isn't funny and you know it. You knew I didn't want to go out with her and yet you pushed her on me."

"Oh, you mean how you pushed me to go to that "book" club? You wanted us to blend in by getting to know people. What better way to blend then to date the town gossip." She replied.

"I don't want to lead her on. This isn't going anywhere…ever. Now she's going to be all over me until we leave."

Bella rolled her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her chest. It then occurs to me while looking at her that my situation may not be as dire as I suspected. Bella does have a gift after all.

"This is your fault and I expect you to help me fix it," I said.

"Yeah…okay and what exactly would you like me to do. Go and crush that poor girl's heart and tell her that you have no interest in her?"

That's what we should have done.

"No," I replied. "You're going to teach me how to give a Bella Special."

Her eyes snap up to mine and she gives me a worried slow shake of her head. If there is one thing that Bella does well, it's a Bella Special.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I am so happy that you have continued to enjoy this story. I hope you continue to do so.

Disclaimer: Story is mine; Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

"No," Bella stated adamantly.

"Yes!" I replied.

Bella shook her head again and said, "no" once more before leaving the teacher's break room. So far every time we would see each other that day, this was the extent of our conversation. We would see one another and she would say, "no" and I would say, "yes." To an outsider who had no idea what was going on, we must have looked like a couple of nut jobs. In fact, I believed that the new acquaintances we were making that day found the new brother and sister team quite odd.

Bella, being her normal stubborn self, had stated that she would not help me with a "Bella Special." She seemed to think that I would take no for an answer but the moment we were back at home and able to speak freely, she would find out just how stubborn I could be. Thankfully, Tanya had yet to make another appearance but in the short time that I had been at the school, already people knew about the new gym teacher who asked out the school nurse. Somehow when the gossip mill began to run, I had come off as an over eager city fellow who fell head over heels for the gorgeous nurse and was practically one step away from proposing because who doesn't believe in love at first sight. The worse the rumors got the more I wanted to fire a Bella Special missile at the woman.

"Uncle Edward, I heard you made a date."

My heart nearly stopped when I went to pick up Maisey from her class that afternoon. How in the hell did she know about that?

"Where did you hear that?" I asked irritated at the unprofessionalism of this school.

"I ate lunch at the table today and the lady who excuses us was telling the lady who served lunch that the new hottie gym teacher asked out the Nurse Tanya. I told that lunch lady that my uncle Edward is no hottie! He's my uncle."

Mini-Bella looked a tad irritated herself while explaining her story.

"Are you really going out with that nurse? All the boys in my class say that girls are gross. I said, I'm not gross but then I looked at the nurse lady and she had lipstick all over her teeth and I think that maybe some girls are gross. I don't know…"

"Girls aren't gross," I stated trying to stop her from continuing. "I…agreed to take the nurse out because we are new here and just like your mommy is getting to know people, I am trying to do the same. But... we are just going as friends. Nothing more so don't listen to what anyone has to say about me because I promise to tell you the truth and most people only tell stories…which most of the time turn out to be untruthful. Understand?"

Mini-Bella nods her head and I take her hand to walk her toward the car. Bella catches up with us when we are just about to the truck.

"Mommy!"

"How was your day, baby?" Bella asks beaming at the sight of her happy child.

I am thankful that Mini-Bella decides to launch into stories about the new people she met and friends she made. She leaves the lunch lady and nurse out of her story. Bella helps her in to the truck and she looks up at me before climbing in herself.

"No!"

I roll my eyes and climb into the truck. She may think she has the last word but just you wait sister of mine, soon we will be home and "no" will not be the last word!

We pulled into the long driveway and Mini-Bella was already asking if she could play with her tree before homework was started. Bella looked like she wanted to say no but not because she wanted her daughters homework started but because she knew that letting Maisey outside would mean that she would have no choice but to finish our conversation. I gave her a look that told her she wouldn't be able to hide behind her daughter forever.

"Okay…thirty minutes but then you need to do your homework," Bella relented.

She didn't even look at me as she headed toward the house but I was right on her heels with my mouth ready for opening arguments but she beat me to it.

"The answer is no! There are a million reasons why I will not help you. Just suck it up and go on your date. You never know…you might end up liking this girl."

Bella said "this girl" in a condescending manner which made me want to pry but I could come back to that later.

"A million? I'll take three. Give me three good reasons and I will leave you be," I responded.

Bella smacked her forehead in frustration and let out a breath.

"Fine. Number one. There is a reason that Bella Specials work in a big city like New York. I run a very small chance I will never see the person again. You can't trip out on Tanya because you will have to see her every single day after. Do you know what that will be like? Plus like you said, we should be blending in and if you take this girl on the date from hell, the whole town will hear about it before their evening nightcap."

"Yes, but the whole idea behind the Bella Special is to make the other person look like the reason for the failed date so even if we gave Tanya the special, she would come out looking like the reason for the failure. People would probably feel bad for me. Hell, she already has a reputation in this town so I doubt it would strain your brain too much to come up with some scenarios…"

"Which leads me to my number two," Bella interrupted. "I have no problem making a guy look like a jerk but there's just something wrong making the girl look like a jerk…"

"That can't be a reason. That's sexist!" I cut her off.

"Guys are more resilient and can handle a bad date or two. In fact, it's probably karma coming back around for other dates they were horrible on…"

I puffed out my chest and took a marvelous step back.

"Oh so now you're the deliverer of Karma? You think it's your right to do horrible things to these men because you're sure that they deserve it for past dating faux paws. Well, that's mighty high handed of you."

"I haven't done anything horrible…heck half the time I do horrible things to myself."

"You set someone on fire," I stated.

"That was an accident!" She snapped.

"Smashed a guy's dick in a car door?"

"Again…accident. Plus, it's not my fault he had it popping up. He deserved it for being gross."

I shook my head and flopped down in one of the kitchen chairs. She was exhausting.

"I'm still waiting to hear one good reason."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. She gave me a small all-powerful smirk and slowly walked toward me.

"I don't think you have it in you. You think that what I do is so easy but half the time, it's all improv. You have to be quick on your feet and be willing to change direction at a moment's notice. That's not something I can teach you to do. It takes years of practice and you have to be willing to lose a little bit of yourself in the process. When you sit across and look into the eyes of your intended victim and see the moment of hopelessness flow through them, then that is when you have to be strong enough to finish them off."

I had never been more afraid of Bella then in that moment.

"And you can live with yourself after that?" I questioned.

Bella shrugged. "They shouldn't have asked me out."

I shook my head completely floored by this woman.

"That's not a crime, Bella. In some circles being asked out is a compliment. You don't have to hide yourself from the world. I'm pretty sure your husband would be happier if he knew you were able to move on."

Bella looked irritated and I knew the road we were heading down. It seemed to be our favorite path to take.

"Men are gross. They don't want to date me. They just want to have sex with me. I am not some notch on a headboard. I have more self-respect then that."

"Maybe some guys but there are some men out there who want the whole package. Don't you think you owe it to Maisey to at least try and be happy? She should see what a healthy relationship looks like. How is she ever going to find that for herself if her mother did everything in her power to scare off every man in twenty mile radius?"

"This isn't about Maisey…"

"Well, maybe it should be! Don't you think you owe it to her to give her a good male role model? You may be a great mother but she deserves to know what it's like to have a great father too!" I argued.

"You make it should like I'm not good enough. I work my butt off to see that she has everything! I'm there for her! I am enough!" She yelled.

"You may be enough but since I've come here, you can't deny that having me around has shown you how she could have more."

I hated this conversation. It was everything I was thinking and shouldn't have ever said. I never meant that being a single mother wasn't a beautiful thing but there is no denying how beneficial it could be to have both a positive male and female presence to help enrich a child's life.

Bella attempted to keep her tears to her eyes. She was so stubborn that even her tears would refuse to fall down her cheeks in front of me. She slightly shook her head and turned to head upstairs. She wasn't going to fight me because I struck a nerve and it probably rang true.

She didn't talk to me for a couple of days except for cordial conversation for the sake of Maisey. Even with the cordial conversation, Maisey could tell something was up. It wasn't until the night that Tanya and I were to go out that I had a moment alone with her.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I don't want to hurt you, Bella. Maisey is an amazing girl and you've done that all on your own so I'm obviously out of place to suggest anything different."

I could see Bella's eyes take in what I said. She wasn't going to verbally respond however.

"I wish you could allow yourself happiness. I can't imagine anyone who loved you the way James did, would want to see you be alone for the rest of your life. A man who was courageous to do what he did…give his life for others…he wouldn't want to see you give your life away to mourn for him."

I sighed knowing I wouldn't get a response. I didn't want to go out with Tanya but maybe leaving the house and giving Bella time alone would help her get over our argument. I said good night to Mini-Bella who was already wrapped up on the couch in a blanket watching television and headed out the door with the trucks keys in my hand.

Tanya and I had agreed to meet at the diner in town at eight o'clock. I had thought over the Bella Special several times and wanted to come up with it on my own but in the end, Bella was right; I couldn't do that to another person. Even though this girl was nauseating to say the least, I would feel wrong for my actions against her when all I had to do was tell her I had no further interest in her after tonight. It was the adult thing to do.

Wearing a button up dark blue shirt with my jeans, I entered the restaurant and saw Angela there ready to greet me. Once again, I had to agree with Bella that trying to pull off something shady would be hard in a town full of people that I would have to see every single day.

"Good evening, Edward. Just you? No family today?" Angela smiled.

"No…I am here actually…." Before I could finish I felt an arm weave through mine and a tight squeeze.

"Here's here with me, Ang! A table in the corner if you wouldn't mind," Tanya said dismissively.

Angela cringed slightly before turning toward the table.

"Just give me a minute," Angela replied before heading toward the table to see it cleared off.

I wiggled my way out of Tanya's grasp and took a step back. She was wearing a tight red corset top and short jean skirt. I hated that my dick had a reaction but it had been so long. In New York, there would be no question to how this night would end but seeing Tanya's face made me quickly rethink my old self. How had I fallen so far to think that this person could be remotely attractive? Didn't she know that the pound of makeup she caked on wasn't as attractive as someone who had natural beauty? Someone like Bella who hardly wore anything on her face at all, some light lip gloss and she was perfect. Didn't Tanya know that wearing a bright red corset that pushed your boobs up wasn't necessary? Hadn't she ever heard that old phrase of leave it to the imagination?

"So…uh…how was…school?"

I had no idea what to say to her. If I didn't know what to say now, what was I going to do all through dinner?

"Oh you know how it goes. Same shit, different toilet. Literally!" Tanya waved off.

"You make nursing sound like the school janitor," I quipped.

"I might as well be with how many poopy pants and vomit cases I get in. You swear if only some people would train their kids better."

Angela came back to thankfully end that conversation and Tanya readjusted her bra before following after Angela as she grabbed two menus. Angela escorted us to the table in the corner which I guess was the most intimate table in the place but this was a diner after all so it wasn't exactly romantic in any way. Being the polite gentleman I was, I tried to pull out a chair for my date.

Tanya smiled at me and then took a seat. However, something happened and the moment she went to sit down, the chair gave way and ended with Tanya flat on the floor. I was in such a state of shock it hadn't occurred to me that I should help her up before she began screaming.

"What the hell! What kind of place is this? Angela!"

Tanya pushed her back up off the ground and closed her legs a little.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare or are you going to help me up!" She screamed at me.

It was enough to break me out of my trance and I held out my hand toward her. She took it and tried to straighten her high hair right as she pulled herself off the ground.

"I'm so sorry. I have no idea how that happened. These are brand new chairs…" Angela began to apologize.

"Well maybe you should have tried them all out before someone files a lawsuit!"

I stepped between the two and held out my hands.

"Can't we just get another chair and try to have a nice meal?"

Of course this wasn't going to be a nice meal but I didn't want to see Angela screamed at any more then she had already been. Tanya seemed to remember she was on a date with me and instantly straightened her face to something a tad more pleasant.

"My apologies. I'm just being silly. A bruised butt will do that to you sometimes," She laughed pulling another chair from a different table. She slowly tested the chair out before sitting and gently sat down upon it. I pulled out my chair and sat down too.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Angela asked wearily.

"Water," I replied.

"Diet coke," Tanya replied.

Angela left the table a little worse for wear and I picked up my menu hoping to find something interesting that would keep me busy for the next ten minutes.

Tanya pulled down my menu as I began to peruse it.

"They have prime rib on special tonight."

"That's nice," I replied pulling my menu back up.

"We probably should have gone into the city. You can't find a decent meal in these parts. There is an excellent steak house that you would just love," She tried.

I gave her a small smile and replied, "That's nice."

Not taking the hint to leave me a couple minutes of quiet while I worked out what I wanted to eat, Tanya once again tried to get my attention.

"They do have great pie here…"

"That's nice." I accidentally interrupted her.

"Are you some kind of robot? Is that all you're going to say to me tonight?" She snapped.

Angela had chosen that exact moment to come back to the table with our drink order. She heard Tanya's fit and gave me a concerned look.

"My apologies. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to eat tonight. I didn't mean to make you upset, I just find I need to concentrate when looking over the menu."

Get the staff on your side.

It was one of Bella's first rules. I was beginning to give a Bella Special without even thinking about it. I remembered how irritated I was when Bella would respond to me over and over again with a two word response and now I managed to have that same effect on Tanya. Score one for me.

Angela set the drinks down and asked, "Are we ready to order?"

"I haven't been able to really look over the menu…" I cringed sheepishly.

"I'll have the prime rib with the broth and veggies on the side. Don't soak the vegetables in butter like last time." Tanya ordered over me.

I wanted to take my time ordering hoping it would irritate Tanya further but then I started to think about how that may prolong the torture so I just handed my menu to Angela and ordered a chili burger and fries.

Angela walked away and Tanya set her eyes back on me.

"Chili burger? You do fit in here." She shook her head. "They're having some silly festival in a couple of weeks and they have a chili cook off as part of the entertainment."

"Really?" I questioned interested. I had a recipe that would kill.

"Yeah…it's practically the only thing people will talk about around here for weeks. Maybe we can go together." She suggested.

I hoped my face wasn't mirroring what I felt inside.

"Uh…I….uh…I need to take Moo Moo," I fumbled.

"What's a Moo Moo?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"My niece. I promised her something when we were back in Chicago. I need to take her…"

"Well, we can go together. I work with kids all day long so I practically an expert," She said.

Angela came back with the broth that Tanya had ordered and I was thankful once again for the interruption.

"So Angela…where's Ben tonight?" I asked hoping to take some time up with talking to Angela.

"He's home sick so I told him it would be best if he stayed home tonight," She replied.

"Well give him my best."

I was just about out with the last word when I heard a horrible shrieking sound come from across the table. Angela and I both looked over in a flash to see Tanya throwing the spoon across the room. She had her tongue sticking out while screaming how it was burning. She was pounding her fists so hard on the table that the whole table shook.

She gave me a look of desperation while yelling at me to do something so without a thought in my head; I picked up my ice water and threw it in her face. My jaw dropped at my reaction as I watched the cake of makeup come pouring down her face with her tongue still sticking out of her mouth. Her hair fell a little flat and Angela and I just gaped at the scene in front of us. One thing is for sure, Tanya snapped out of whatever screaming fit she had put herself in.

I didn't know what to say so I just sat there waiting for the wrath.

"Tanya?"

All three of us turned our head to see who called out her name. The man was about my age and well dressed…well what I mean was he was well dressed for these parts.

"What are you doing here, Sam?" She snapped as best she could with her burnt tongue.

"I heard all the commotion and couldn't believe my eyes," This Sam replied. "Wow…you have….never…looked better!"

He said it and then busted out laughing.

"This must be my lucky day because Karma has come to Dix and taken you down a peg."

"Shut up, Sam! Get the hell out of here!"

I had a feeling that the two must have dated once upon a time. I had never heard anything about Sam or seen him before. He looked at me and then shook his head.

"Do yourself a favor and get as far away from this one as you can. She will try to bleed you dry both of money and your soul! She's a demon bitch!"

My jaw slightly dropped at the sight of this and I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

"And you're a stingy asshole! Get the hell out of here!"

The two of them continued in a screaming match in the middle of the restaurant and the other patrons had no choice but to watch the show. I pulled my wallet from my pants and fished out a couple of bills.

"Look, I think it's just best if I go," I said handing the money to Angela. It was more than enough to cover the bill.

"No. Don't leave! Sam's leaving!" Tanya said desperately.

"Run for your life, Man!" Sam yelled over me.

Tanya began to attack Sam and I chose that moment to make my getaway.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to Angela one more time.

"I don't blame you," She said under her breath before giving me an understanding smile.

I rushed out of the restaurant and hopped into my truck. It was times like these I wished this town had a drive thru anything. I was going to have to cook myself something when I got home. I took a couple of minutes in the car to myself because I couldn't believe what had just transpired. I was nearly at a loss for words.

Something caught my eye as I sat there and contemplated my evening. Two small figures running toward a car. The smallest jumped into the driver's side and the other figure jumped into the passenger side. The other figure looked to be a Bella shaped figure.

What the hell was Bella doing here?

My mouth dropped slightly as it all began to make sense. I started up the car and peeled out of the parking space. The chair. The soup. The ex-boyfriend. Man, she was a genius.

* * *

**AN: **Thank you for reading and reviewing. My apologies that this took so long. I have been dealing with a wicked flu and as I'm sure some of you know, when you're pregnant you can't take anything hardly. I will be working on the Governess next so hopefully I can get that up sooner than later. Thank you for your patience.

Disclaimer: Story is mine; characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

I drove the rust bucket truck towards the house as quick as it would go. I kept going over every detail in my mind and couldn't fathom how any of it was possible. It was clear that Bella had an accomplice and I wasn't able to make out who that accomplice was but I knew the figure I saw in the distance was definitely Bella. There certainly was no mistaking that ass.

The truck bounced down the dirt road kicking up dust in its wake and sure enough there was a small red Mini-Cooper parked in our drive. I pulled to a stop and got out of the car in one swift motion, slamming the door as I went.

I didn't know what to make of the situation. Was I upset? I should be. After all the time I spent begging Bella to help and then she hadn't spoken to me in days. What was her deal? Why now? Why decide to help me now?

Part of me was happy and relieved she helped me. I mean, my god! If I had to spend an entire evening with that Tanya, I don't know what I would do. I should thank her. I should just march up into the house and thank her.

I kept saying in my head over and over, "thank you." However, when I went through the door and saw three women sitting in my living room watching _Game of Thrones_ and acting like nothing had happened, I nearly lost it.

"No, that guy's a punk. He later beheads the father," Bella said.

"What? No way! But I like that guy. I think he's sexy," Rosie replied.

"Ew! He's old enough to be your kid!" Bella exclaimed.

"Not him! The father guy. He reminds me a little of my man."

Bella looks up to me from the floor with her back leaning against the couch.

"Hey, you're back already? It's not even nine o'clock," She says pretending to look at her watch.

I stare at her and look at the other suspects and the little dark hair girl is avoiding eye contact with me. The silence is deafening.

"Uh…I should probably get home. Alice, it is getting late and we don't want our guys thinking we jumped ship," Rosie sings biting her lip.

"Yes! We should go. Uh…thank you for inviting us over tonight, Bella. We had a lot of fun." Alice replied getting out of the chair so fast you would think her ass was on fire.

"Oh, you guys don't have to go yet. I mean we haven't even made it to the best part."

Bella is practically pulling the pair back. She knows the moment her Charlie's Angel's disband, we are going to have words. She follows them to the door pirouetting around the two but she has no luck. She stands looking out after them on the porch and then slowly makes her way back in.

"I need to go and check on Maisey," She mutters with one foot on the stair.

"HOLD IT!"

Her foot pauses and she stays in her spot refusing to look at me.

"I'm waiting." I draw out the word and fold my arms over my chest. I already know I have the upper hand for once. There is no way she can win this argument.

She turns to face me and stares at me crossing her arms over her chest to mirror me.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well what?"

"Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you."

She sighs annoyed and rolls her eyes.

"Bella, I know you were there. You did it. You gave Tanya the Bella Special! Just admit it."

"So what if I did," She snapped. "You have an odd way of thanking someone."

"Thanking? You think I should thank you?" I snap back at her. I knew I should thank her but when she decided to get all superior, thanking her was the last thing on my to-do list.

"I went around here for days asking for your help and you refused. Then you don't talk to me and now I am supposed to thank you?"

The nerve of this woman!

"I didn't talk to you because I was upset with you. You practically said that I can't give my daughter everything she needs. That I am a horrible mother!"

"No fucking way did I ever say that! You are so not going to make up some fantasy and make me the villain, Bella!"

She rushes toward me with her hands waving. "Would you stop with all the swear words. What if Maisey could hear you?"

"Then I'm sure her ears would fall off her head and she would spend the rest of her days deciphering hand gestures."

"You are so crass," Bella hissed. "I'm not going to argue with you. Especially if you can't keep your mouth clean. Besides, I'm sure Maisey will hear us if we keep going on like this."

I took a deep breath remembering my training. I couldn't kill her. There would be too many reports to file and I'm sure I would be on probation for a thing like that. Killing the very person I was responsible for protecting.

"You know what? I didn't need your help. I had it all under control so thanks for nothing, Kerns."

I strode past her and went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer heading toward the porch. I could practically see Bella's face go fifty shades of red and I knew I had won that round. She followed me quickly, hot on my heels.

"Are you serious? You were drowning on that date. She was a wilder-beast and if it wasn't for me, you would still be sitting in that diner or worse, trying to pry her off your leg as you got into your car to leave for the night."

I sat down in the chair and looked out over the driveway. I take a swig from my beer and laugh.

"Okay, Bella. Whatever you say but really…a girl like that isn't hard to get rid of. I'm mean don't get me wrong, you did okay. The chair and the spoon, it was a nice effort, a little childish but not what I was expecting from someone who I thought was like the Yoda of bad dates. And besides, she may be a wilder-beast but I probably wouldn't mind tapping that."

Bella's jaw drops and for a second I'm not sure what has her more upset. The implication that she's not an amazing dater hater or that she thinks I would ever screw a girl like Tanya.

"You want to have sexual relations with someone like Tanya!"

"Sexual relations?" I raise my eyebrow, "Uh...the last time I checked my last name wasn't Clinton."

"Do you have any ideas how many diseases that woman probably has? Rosie and Alice told me all about her. They said she is the lowest of the low. She has absolutely no standards and could open up her own brothel and keep every customer satisfied on her own."

"Really? Wow you're making her sound more and more tempting all the time. I mean someone with that kind of stamina is hard to come by."

The more I was relaxed, the more she became infuriated and I loved every minute of it. Bella threw up her hands and turned in a circle.

"I can't believe you. You are so much…more pathetic than I could ever imagine. You really have no standards. I guess my childish effort was on a lost cause. You and Tanya belong together."

She turned to go into the house and I jumped up and grabbed her around the waist. She squealed in shock as I pulled her back down to the chair.

"I was fucking with you, Bella," I whispered in her ear. "Thank you for getting me out of that horrible date."

I kissed her on the cheek bracing myself for a slap but when I pulled back, I was surprised to see her staring at me.

"You…you weren't interested in Tanya?" She asked softly.

I laughed, "Never. And yes, even I have standards."

I couldn't believe she was still sitting on my lap. She looked away from me briefly thinking something over in her head and then turned back to me.

"Well…I guess I can't take all the credit. Throwing that water in her face was pure genies," She smiled and bit her lip.

"That was improv but bringing out the ex? Man, how in the hell did you find him?"

Bella laughed and shook her head.

"You have no idea how impressed with myself I was for that one. Alice told me that he hung out at Jasper's bar and I asked her to call Jasper and see what he could do to get him over there. It wasn't hard. Apparently Tanya owes him a bit of money."

I rocked a little testing to see if she would realize that she was still sitting on my lap. I didn't want her to leave. I liked feeling her there but I knew she would feel embarrassed once she realized what we were doing.

"Uh, Bella. There's something I have to tell you," I whispered in her ear.

She leaned back waiting to hear what I had to say.

"What you did tonight was a little fucked up."

She turned to me with a gasp leaving her mouth open.

"You totally screwed that Rosie girl over. You never ever tell someone that Joffrey had Eddard Stark beheaded."

Bella looked relieved but pulled back to smack me in the chest. I easily catch her hand and hold it between us. I can see merriment dancing in her eyes and it was a first for me. It made her look like a completely different Bella. The kind of Bella I wondered if her husband had the pleasure of knowing.

I feel like I could read her mind in that moment. She looks at me as if she is waiting for me to kiss her but I don't. I don't want to make a move and then have it be the wrong move. That would be disastrous.

"It's getting late," I said lamely letting her hand go.

I look down awkwardly and am surprised that she is still sitting on my lap. I can feel her adjust her weight, readying herself to stand up but just as she lifts her body off of mine, she moves her butt from the tops of my knees and slides down toward my crotch. Her hand palms my face and before I can react her lips are on mine! Her tongue is inside my mouth! And what's worse is my dick is causing a very embarrassing bulge in my jeans.

I am thinking too much. Or maybe I am thinking too little because I allow her tongue to continue to tangle with mine. I allow her hands to make their way toward my hair as her fingers begin to wrestle with my locks. But the longer we are making out the more I lose my mind and allow impulse to take over.

I grab her and pull her closer deepening the kiss. My hand finds itself on her inner thigh and just as my finger decides to move to a place of no return, I snap out of it and jump up off the chair placing her quickly back on her feet. Our mouths break apart and she stares at me in disbelief. I am stunned into silence but I have to get away from her because my body is screaming for me to grab and take her to my room.

I rush back into the house and she follows after me. She's too close for comfort so I turn to stop her.

"Um…we have to stop."

"Yes. I know. You're right." She panted. She looked around and then her eyes land on me, "Why?"

I throw my hands up in frustration.

"You had to pick tonight to lose all your inhibitions? Have you been drinking?"

There has to be some form of explanation. Hell, I'll even take Freaky Friday as an explanation for now.

"What? No! Look, I'm completely sober." She says moving one finger back and forth in front of her eyes.

"Then what…are you thinking? You are…you aren't thinking. You hate me!"

She pauses from following me and steps back. She bites on her lip a little and it seems my words have hurt her.

"I don't hate you," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I can't believe myself but the other day when you said what you said….it made me really examine how I have been living my life. Maybe you're right. On all of it. Maybe I'm not enough for Maisey and I've been keeping myself locked up and its hurting her instead of helping her. Maybe James would have wanted me to move on. I don't know. I don't know."

I take a few steps toward her.

"You are enough for Maisey. That's not what I meant. You are an amazing mother and she is an amazing girl. You did that. But…I think if I was in James's place, I have to believe if I loved you as he did, I would never want you to "lock" yourself away. I would hope and wish that you would find someone who would love you and love Maisey. That is why love is unselfish."

Bella closes her eyes and causes her tears to disappear before they can fall. We are so close that I can feel her breath on me. She looks up at me through her eyelashes and I expect her to say thank you or something.

"Edward."

She takes a breath.

"Will you make love to me?"

Oh crap!

That isn't where I wanted this to go.

Did I want to make love to her? God, so many images of me burying myself inside her and I want nothing more but for the first time I stop myself because for the first time I feel more for her than some cheap one-night stand. I can't do that to her. She deserves more and I worry that if I have sex with her now, she will regret it and in return I will regret it too.

"Bella…" I pull her to me. "You mean more to me than this. You know what I am. You don't want your first time after him to be with a manwhore."

Bella looks down and smiles. "You're probably right. You wouldn't want to be with a girl like me. I don't "take care" of myself like the women you date."

She turns around quickly to hide her abashed face and I grab her wrist instantly.

"That's not it at all. You have no…"

"No! You're right. Thank you for stopping me. I would have been so embarrassed if you saw me like that. I can't imagine what you would think. You probably would ask for hazard pay."

"Bella! I wouldn't think like that at all. My god! I…I…"

I don't even know what to say because in a way, she's right. If I would have fucked her like I wanted to when we first met, I would have judged everything about her. I would have mocked in my head all her imperfections and then told Mike all about it. And then it hit me for the first time. There would be no imperfections on Bella to find. There would be nothing because when you truly care for another person, you only see the good. I truly cared for Bella. I wanted more with her. Was I really able to trust another person again especially after what happened with my ex?

I look Bella over and I know that she is nothing like my ex-wife. To even put them in the same category would be an insult.

Bella is still looking at me and waiting for a properly finished sentence but I offer her nothing in return. Instead I take her by the hand and slowly walk with her towards my bedroom giving her every opportunity to stop this.

But she followed me into my bedroom.

I pull her towards my bed and turn around to face her. I don't kiss her but I just stare into her eyes attempting to see any sign of doubt but I find nothing so I sit her down at the foot of my bed and wait once more for her to tell me to stop.

But she said nothing and sat on the foot of my bed.

She stares at me waiting for me to make a move. I attempt to control the trembling I feel lying beneath the surface and focus on my hand as it raises to brush against her hardening nipple. I can barely feel it and I imagine that its due to the fact that she must be wearing one of those granny bras. There is no way that Bella is a lace and lux kind of girl. I leave my hand on her breast testing to see if she gives me a negative response.

But she said nothing and took a deep breath in, slowly throwing her head back.

Finally, I can't take it anymore.

"Bella, are you sure about this? I don't want to ruin us. I need you to be sure."

She takes a moment and I take it that she is not sure about going further. I attempt to stand up but she stops me.

"I want to…but…"

I wait but that horrendous "but" is bothersome.

"…I haven't done this in a really long time and like I said before, I…am not like the other girls you've been with. You…might not like what you find."

She cringes thinking far too much so I push my torso between her legs and reach up to kiss her deeply.

I break the kiss and tell her, "I need you to not think anymore. Just feel."

I kiss her once more and this time my hand reaches around her back and I snap her bra off. My hands are under her shirt and helping to liberate her breasts from their thick padded prison.

I am surprised that Bella pulls her shirt off so freely. I can feel how self-conscious she is and this small task means a great deal to me.

I move my mouth to begin sucking on her nipples and begin making a plan. My fingers find their way up her long skirt and between her legs. I can feel the thick amount of hair they will tangle with through her panties. I am so focused on finding her clit that I nearly miss the panting coming from Bella's mouth. I can feel her body already shaking but staying stiff still sitting on the foot of my bed.

I push her down and lay beside her. I make a circular motion with my fingers never attempting to plunge into the depths of her womanhood. My mouth doesn't leave her breast as I continue to suck and tease her with my teeth.

I can tell that I am getting close because she becomes louder and louder every passing second. I climb over her and change hands. Now the one that was playing in her bush is across her mouth and my other hand is back in the thick of it waiting to bring her to her first orgasm. She is pushing herself on me as her pelvis pushes up from off the bed but I push her back down.

"I'm close. I'm close. Please. Please fuck me," She whispers.

I want to laugh at the dirty language but I don't. My fingers quicken their pace and push harder until I can feel her body freeze, her mouth screaming into my hand and it's over.

Bella collapses and I pull my hand off her.

It was never my intention to make love to her that night. If I wanted more with her, then I was going to have to give up my manwhore ways and be patient. She needed an orgasm though. There was no denying that. But, I will not make love or fuck her until we decide that we are ready to be more.

I laid beside her and basked in her glow. She had a small satisfied smile upon her lips. She let a few minutes' pass but then turned toward me and snuggled closer which I completely allowed.

"That was indescribable," She said.

"Yes it was," I agreed.

She looked up at me and smiled.

"Okay, I'm ready to continue."

FUCK!

* * *

**AN: **Thank you for having the patience to continue on with this story. i know it has been a long while but I am finally getting my zest back for writing. I am nearly done with my last chapter for The Governess and will be able to focus solely on this story. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I really appreciate it!

Disclaimer: Story is mine, characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

I laid paralyzed in bed.

She still wanted to go through with the whole shebang? She…bang? Shebang? How have I not noticed that before? Shebang. Shebang. Shebang.

"Edward?"

Crap, that's me. She's waiting for an answer and my damn head has turned into some Ricky Martin video. What do I tell her? The truth? That would never work.

Bella, I can't make love to you because I want you to actually be in love with me.

She'll never buy it.

Bella, I can't make love to you because…I'm waiting till marriage.

Bella, I can't make love to you because…I found out I only have two months to live and I don't want you pining after me when I'm gone and because the doctors said that if I have sex, I will die sooner and wouldn't it be better to live longer by my side than to have one great lay that would cause an aneurysm to burst in my head causing isn't stroke and death.

I breathe out a little.

Bella, you're my sister…what we just did was wrong unless you're a Lannister but since we aren't really Game of Thrones characters and since you aren't really my sister, I guess we could have sex just once and only once but at midnight we have to promise to never talk about it ever again and never see one another, avoid eye contact at all times and…

"Mommy?"

Oh a sweet angel's voice saves me from the darkest depths of Hell.

Bella jumps out of bed and runs toward my bedroom door. She realizes then that her top is missing as well as her bra. She frantically looks for her shirt and decides to forgo the bra.

I exhale the moment she's gone allowing my head to fall back onto the pillow.

I can hear some faint murmuring outside my door and then the creaky steps as two pairs of footsteps make their way up. I am overwhelmed with relief. Moo Moo bought me time and I promise myself to buy her a present in return.

Once again my mind shuffles though obnoxious lie after another of what I can tell Bella but every single time, I know it won't make a bit of difference. No matter what I say, if the answer isn't what she wants to hear, she will feel rejected and self-conscious. I can't win.

So I wait for her to come back to me but she never does. I wait until well after midnight and surmise that she isn't returning that night. I know I should feel relief and I do but I also feel a little sad and to be quite honest, a little cheap.

Just take your orgasm and go. I see how it is.

I wrestle with my pillows and attempt to find sleep for myself but every creek of the house sends my chest fluttering in hope that she is on her way back.

Maybe she changed her mind like I had wished her to. What if I was the one to break her from her self-inflicted prison and now she was going to be the one running off to meet up with a different guy every night. What if she meets another man and finds that he's an even better choice for Maisey's father?

The very though fills me with rage. So much so that I am up and out of my bed before I know it. Pictures of man after man fill my head as I try and imagine my little Moo Moo playing with her new daddy.

The stairs creak as I scramble up them. I look in on Moo Moo and she is passed out once more in her bed. I head towards Bella's room and softly open the door, thankful that her hinges aren't squeaking.

She hears me enter and flips around in her tiny bed. I could tell she hadn't slept either.

"Edward," She whispered.

I stare at her not sure of what to say. My mouth is making motion but nothing comes from it.

"What do you want from me?"

She looks taken aback by my question and tone.

"Excuse me?"

I shake my head and move to sit on her bed.

"Bella, I need to know what you want from me? Do you just want to fuck me? I need you to be honest with me. If you want to fuck…then I'll fuck you but…if you want more...I need to know."

"How romantic," She says lamely.

She looks a tad disgusted by my words and I wonder if I should have made my intentions clearer.

"What do you want?" She asks.

"No. I need you to tell me first."

She huffs and shrugs her shoulders. Her mouth is open but she doesn't look in my general direction.

"I don't know."

"Be honest!" I snapped.

She wants to tell me what she thinks I want to hear.

"I…don't want to just…you know."

She won't even look at me because I know she's afraid of what I will say. I take her face in my hand and force her to look into my eyes. With the bright ass moon coming through her window, I can easily see the worry upon her face.

"I don't either."

We both take a breath of relief.

"Although…I really wouldn't mind if we…you know."

And with her words, we are right back to where we started.

Be honest, Edward.

"Well I don't think we should until you can stop calling it, "you know,"" I laugh softly.

I can see her face go red as she tucks her hair behind her ear.

"So…does this mean that we are going to date?" she asked.

"As long as you promise to not set me on fire."

She holds up her hands defensively. "I make no promises. I can promise that I won't intentionally set you on fire. That's about the best I can do."

"I will take that."

We both laugh and I want to kiss her but I don't want to be too forward.

"This is going to be hard. I mean we will have to not only keep it secret from the town but from Maisey as well," she said.

"I know. If I had a little more foresight, I would have told Agent Black to make us a couple to begin with. It will be hard but know that when we are in public and my hand brushes against yours, it will mean that I wish I could hold it. When we sit across from one another at the diner and you see my eyes gaze toward your lips, it will mean that I'm thinking about kissing you. And just remember, we have nights to ourselves. A block of time where no one will know anything of our forbidden actions."

I see her move toward the wall allowing more room in her bed.

"Like I said, can we continue?"

I look over my shoulder toward the door and then back to her.

"What about Moo Moo? Aren't you worried she'll wake up again? She'll hear us?"

I feel my points are valid and at least it will buy me some time. As much as I would like nothing more than to bury myself in her, over and over again, I know that if we have sex now, she might regret her reasons in the morning. That is one thing I have learned about Bella, she could change her mind in the blink of an eye.

I see Bella sigh and she looks down toward her blankets.

"You're probably right. Besides I think I should be sure that my body…is a little more presentable."

I furrow my brow?

"More presentable? I can't imagine what you could do to make yourself any more tempting than you already are."

"You don't have to do that. I already said I would sleep with you. I'm a sure thing. You don't need to lie."

Her words send my brain into a tizzy and I can feel myself incredibly irritated.

"Lie? I wasn't lying. And if you think I just think of you as another notch on my headboard then I don't want to have sex with you."

I jump off her bed and grab the door knob a tad harshly, ripping the door open. It really upset me that she could turn a simple compliment into an accusation. However, the minute I reach my room and look at the bed, I instantly feel stupid for leaving. My bed looks lonely without Bella in it.

I know I should return and apologize but I don't.

The night was horrible to say the least. Half the time I kept replaying Bella's orgasm over and over in my head. A quarter of the time, I imagined what it would have been like if I had just given in and fucked her and the other quarter I spent berating myself for thinking of her like that. It was indeed a long night.

I don't think I fell asleep until well after four so I knew I shouldn't have been surprised when I woke up and saw my clock read fifteen past noon. What surprised me was the lack of noise coming from the house. I walked tentatively out my door expecting to see Moo Moo watching television but she was not there. I walked toward the kitchen and it didn't even look like anyone had eaten breakfast. I finally called out Bella and Moo Moo's name but no answer returned.

I wasn't sure what I was going to say when I saw Bella. I guess I thought I would see how she responded to my presence to gage how I should handle last night. I walked out the front door onto the porch and I saw the truck missing. My heart began to flutter in fear. Where was she? She wouldn't just leave without saying something to me, she knows in our situation how important it was to keep one another apprised of our location at all times.

It was then I really began to worry. What if she was so upset by what happened the night before that she just took off with Maisey. I don't know how many times she threatened me so what if she finally made good on her word? She didn't even have a license so the fact that she had put Maisey in that kind of danger really pissed me off.

I look around for a phone that isn't there. I have no way of contacting any single person. It would take me a half hour to reach town without a car. I feel my whole body break out in a sweat.

Just then I hear it.

My heart slows its pumping and the sweat seems to vanish instantly as I hear the rusty old truck making its way up the path. My first inclination is to run outside and begin yelling at Bella but I refrain.

I take a seat at the breakfast table and wait for the pair to enter. Moo Moo enters first with a skip through the door.

"Uncle Edward! You're awake."

"Hey sweetie. Where did you just come from?"

Bella enters as I finish my question but she's not alone. The short girl named Alice is with her and for a moment I relax knowing I won't have to go off on her for driving without a license. Alice gives me a hyper hello as she passes.

"We went to the store to get supplies for my science project. I'm going to grow a tree so I can give Fred a friend. Every tree should have a friend."

"I thought you were Fred's friend," I replied.

I see Bella standing off to the side making a show of putting away groceries while Alice makes herself at home at my kitchen table.

"I am but Fred needs tree friends." She looks over at her mother and asks, "Mommy, can I watch television?"

"You need to take a nap first. You've been up since six and you were restless last night," Bella replied.

Moo Moo begins to pout and complain.

"I will lay down with you if you'd like," Bella offered.

I knew exactly what she was doing but just because I was acting friendly for Moo Moo's sake, I wasn't about to let her off without feeling the anger boiling inside.

"Hey, Moo Moo. Do you mind going up and laying down by yourself? I need to talk to your mom. I promise that when you wake, I will help you with your project."

Moo Moo's face lights up and she tells me I have a deal. She practically runs upstairs and as I turn to confront Bella, I see she has returned to the groceries. I want Alice gone but it's obvious that she doesn't have any transportation since I didn't see any when I checked on the truck.

"Thanks again for letting me borrow your truck. Jasper should be here any moment. It's so sweet that he always takes my car in for its checkup. I just wish he would ask me first to see if I need a car," Alice babbles.

"It was no problem. Thank you for letting us tag along. I didn't want to wake Edward this morning. He seemed to not get very much sleep last night," She replied adding that last part for my benefit.

"Are you still thinking about Tanya?" Alice then directed her conversation toward me.

"What? No! Why would I be thinking about her."

"You don't need to snap at her like that. She is our guest after all." Bella snapped.

"I wasn't. It caught me off guard," I tried to explain.

"Well please forgive my brother. He can be very rude sometimes," Bella told her.

I sighed out in frustration and its apparent that Alice has become very uncomfortable. There is silence for a few long seconds and then Alice jumps out of the chair.

"I think I hear Jasper coming. I better go and meet him so he won't have to wait. Thank you again!" She yells practically running out our door. I turn and see Bella staring me down. She gives me an indignant look and then flips around and heads toward the stairs.

"Hold it!" I barked.

I walk over to her and lean against the wall next to the stairs with my arms folded across my chest waiting for her to acknowledge me.

"What? Are you still upset about last night?" She asked irritated.

"No, I'm upset about this morning," I snapped.

That has Bella's attention so she looks up at me confused.

"How could you just take off like that without letting me know where you were going?"

"Ohhhh, kind of like how you took off the first day we got here without telling me? WITH MY KID!"

Crap! She had a point.

"Oh, so we're tit for tat?"

"I went to the store and you were still asleep. I didn't realize I needed your permission to leave the house," She said sarcastically.

"Not my permission. Just a little heads up would have been nice. You know we aren't exactly vacationing here. I need to know where you and Maisey are at all times. It's kind of my job."

"You're just pissed off about last night and want to be angry with me. Do you want some kind of apology for it? I'm not really sure why you left in such a tizzy. I wasn't saying anything remotely condescending or rude to you, you know?"

"You called me a liar!" I accused.

"I didn't mean anything by it. You said that I was fine as I was and I know that's not true. How many women have you been with?" She asked and then before I could even begin to try and deliver an answer she finished by saying, "You know how many men I have been with?"

I knew I shouldn't answer that but when I stopped to think about her sex life and how she was as a person, I knew her number and mine greatly differed.

"One," she said.

She sighed and looked around the kitchen. She bit down on her lip once more and I didn't know how to respond.

"Edward…I know you've been with a lot of women and I'm not upset about that but I don't know if you could tell, I am incredibly self-conscious when it comes to certain aspects of my life. I know the kind of women you get with. I'm not like those women and I feel embarrassed about that. If we have sex, I know that the whole time I will focus on practically every part of my body and how it must be so below par of what you have experienced in the past. I haven't shaved certain areas in a very long time. I have a few stretch marks from pregnancy and my breast aren't as perky anymore since breastfeeding. I called you a liar because I cannot honestly believe that you really feel that I am…presentable."

I am blown away by her honesty and so incredibly sadden by it as well. I want to say that I wouldn't judge those parts of her but I guess it is very possible that I would. But this is the first time I have felt this way about a woman and I can't imagine that with all her stated imperfections I could ever see her as "below par"

"Bella, I…you're probably right."

I see her face fall a little.

"If we would have had sex when I initially wanted to, the night of our first date; I probably would have judged you and compared you to other women. I would have fucked you and then never called you again. Ignored any attempt on your part to get ahold of me and told Michael all about it. I…am an asshole. But…I need you to believe that what I am about to say, is not a line. It's not something I am saying to get you into bed. I feel something for you. Something I never even felt with my first wife. I feel something for you that scares me. Excites me. Makes me want to run out and buy a piano so I can try and express it through some cheesy song and I don't even know how to play the piano."

She laughed softly.

"Bella…I want to make love to you. I know you wanted to have sex last night but I don't want to just have sex. I want to have more with you than just sex."

I quickly take her in my arms and kiss her. I pour every word I just said into that kiss hoping that she can feel my sincerity but as the kiss goes on and becomes deeper, I also feel an overwhelming desire to take her to the bedroom.

She moans out and attempts to pull me closer but I do her one better and push her up against the wall grinding myself into her. We finally end the kiss and stare at one another for a few seconds before she speaks.

"uh…we…sex?" She manages and I laugh ironically and groan in frustration. That all I want to do is give her sex but we need to wait.

"Bella…"

"Come on, Edward. What is it you need from me? Promise that I won't go crazy on you? I won't regret it? What?"

"I already told you want I needed and now I know what it must feel like to be a woman. You never listen to me."

She huffs at me and rolls her eyes. "You want me to say that I love you? What? What do you want?"

I grab her hands and make her look into my eyes.

"I want you to be in love with me!" I yell out in defeat.

Bella sighed and closed her eyes.

"I don't know if I'm there yet," She offered.

"That's okay. I'm not expecting you to," I replied quietly.

She finally looks at me.

"So…we…aren't going to…" She swallows before continuing, "have sex. I am offering and you don't want to do anything sexual with me."

I can't believe that I'm saying no. For the first time in my life, I am willingly turning down sex with a sexy woman. Damn this country life and its fresh air!

"Well…I didn't say we couldn't do anything sexual."

And I see the light go back into her eyes. It was quickly replaced by something else however. Desire. But then something rolls around in my mind. It still bothered me that she felt all these insecurities and I didn't want her to feel insecure with me. I didn't want our first time together to be Bella wrapped up in her mind wondering what I thought about all her "imperfections."

I take her by the hand and pull her toward my bedroom and she happily keeps up my pace. I pull her into my bathroom and close the door behind us and lock it. The bathrooms were the only rooms in the house that locked. I would need to go to the store soon and buy Bella and myself locks for our doors if we were going to keep this up. Locks for the doors and a gross of condoms.

I turn to face her and can't help but look over her body as my gaze comes up to meet her eyes.

"Do you trust me?" I asked.

She bites her lip thinking about it.

"Uh…"

"I need to know. Do you trust me? I know what you're thinking, Bella. You want to say no because you don't know what I am about to do and that scares you. However, you want to say yes because you think it will get you want you want. So I will make this easier for you. If you say yes, you have to go along with what I am about to do to you. I promise you at least one fantastic orgasm but in return, I am going to do something to you that will make you feel very self-conscious. So what will it be? How much does that orgasm mean to you?"

Her chest rises and falls and I can see her eyes full of worry. Worry because she knows that she wants to say yes but knows how much it will cost her to do so. I already have my plan in place because I know she will say yes and I know how much she is going to feel embarrassed by what I plan on doing next but if after it is all said and done, she has one less thing to feel self-conscious about, then I was prepared.

"Yes." She says shakily.

I look at her one more time in the eyes to be sure and then I reach for the razor.

* * *

**AN: **Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Thank you for sticking with this story even though I know its been a very long while between updates. I am trying to not take such a long sabbatical again.

Disclaimer: Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.


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